Category Archives: Social Issues

So Creepy…and It’s Not Even Halloween Yet!

No, this isn’t about the further adventures of “whatever-it-is” that rattles around the apartment, though “it” will be mentioned briefly, in the introduction.  No, this post is about online bullying.

Let me preface this to state, it’s not been a good week.

I got restless on Sunday night – late Sunday night – and decided to go down and leave some mail out for the postman to take.  So I opened my apartment door and left it open for the kitties to ramble up and down the stairs if they wished, went downstairs, opened the front door, went outside to set the mail out, turned around and…

…realized I had locked myself out.

I was dressed only in pajamas.  Barefoot.  It was about 1 AM.  About 58 degrees without wind, though that would pick up later.

My downstairs neighbor and friend Nancy was at work, working an overnight shift.  So I spent about 8 1/2 hours outside, on the porch, until she came home.  We live in a 2-story house with two apartments, one upstairs (mine) and one downstairs (hers).

The good news is, I don’t think it’s possible to break into our house.  I tried, even attempting to throw a patio table (with metal legs) through the door window – it just bounced off.

The bad news is, I got quite ill from the experience.  “Exposure” is a real thing, folks.

We now have extra keys hidden outside to prevent this from happening again.

And the “ghost”?  You’d think that something that can fling a bunch of objects off a dresser would be able to unlock/open a door, wouldn’t you?  Useless thing!

So, not a good start to the week.  But it was starting to “go south” earlier that evening, when I was online.

Before I so stupidly locked myself out, I had engaged in a conversation of sorts on Facebook, with some fans of, yes, you guessed it, General Hospital.  It was a subgroup of people who like two of the actors on the show, whose characters are engaged to one another.

These people are a bit on the strange side, I think, but I also think their behavior is rather typical of social media childishness.

You see, they like the pairing so much, that they are “enemies” with another group of fans who would like to see the actor’s character paired with another actress’ character.

And both “sides” are quite nasty about it.

That wasn’t why I joined.  I thought this group was just a positive expression of fan appreciation.

Boy, was I wrong!

Someone had posted an article about the actor’s storyline (back from the dead, new face, no one recognises him, etc), and tried to say that if it were her husband, in real life, she would know who he was from his mannerisms and so on.

The implication was, “Not like that dummy he’s married to” – which, of course, is the character’s on-screen wife – and the female character that this group really hates.

I commented that it would be very unlikely that would ever happen in real life, but even if it did, how many people actually would think that a stranger in town is really their dead husband with a new face?  (Who, by the way, has amnesia, so he can’t tell anyone who he is because he doesn’t know)

I also said it was not really fair to compare a soap plotline to real life.  And that maybe it would be good to be more positive and not focus on the character people dislike, but on the character who is supposed to be the focus of the page.

I ended it with, “We’re better than that!”

It was not a tirade, by any means. But, wow.

Someone wrote a long missive about why she thought the author was right, and so on, and I commented, “Ok, well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree”, after actually agreeing with one thing she said (I was trying to be nice).

Then someone jumped in and wanted to know why I thought the author was bashing the character.  Because, in the online world, if someone implies something (and it’s quite clear what they meant by it), and you want to start an argument, then you have to get literal and demand to know exactly what was said, line for line, so you can state that, oh no, that really wasn’t the implication.

I have neither the time nor the energy to respond to that.  I recognise abuse when I see it, and this kind of thing routinely happened to me when I was in my last relationship.  He would challenge and pick and on and on and on until I was in tears over the most trivial of things.

So I stated that I just was expressing an opinion and wouldn’t say more about it, since I had upset people.

Wow, was that the wrong thing to say!

To prove how “not-upset” several posters were, they flooded the page with demands that I tell them exactly how the author was bashing the character, and also demanding that I tell them exactly how they were upset.

Ignoring it was fruitless, as it just kept snowballing.

So I quit the group.  Sent a message to the admin stating I wasn’t going to be bullied, but I did appreciate the work she has done on the page – as she is a nice person and wasn’t involved in any of this.

You have to understand, this group does things like post pictures of their beloved character brandishing a gun (photoshopped, the character doesn’t use guns on the show) with captions implying she ought to murder this other character.

I do not see that as “harmless fun”.  I do not see that as “it’s just the internet”.

These things, these ideas, come from peoples’ minds, and it takes a particularly warped mind to come up with violent posts like that.

I mean, really – do you ever have those kinds of thoughts about anyone, TV character or not?

I don’t thnk most normal people do.

To then attempt to defend it by stating, “It’s only a TV show”, or “It’s only the internet” is really disingenuous because the fact of the matter is, someone is expressing a violent fantasy of theirs.

And that’s scary.

Most of us who were taught from a very early age to empathize with others and to not use violence to resolve conflict do not ever deal with anyone, fictional or not, animal or human, in a violent manner.

It just doesn’t occur to us.

I brought this up in a post on Facebook last night, stating only that I didn’t understand fans who wished violence on characters, or called them names and so on, and that I had quit a group because of it.

I didn’t name the group.

One poster responded she didn’t mind character-bashing, what she didn’t like was fans bashing the actual actor/actress.

I agreed and added that my problem with it was, once you do not agree with what someone has said (such as calling a character a slut) or suggest they not bash characters that way, then they turn on you.

Oops.

The next thing I knew, my post was flooded with these people from the group I just quit, and as soon as I saw the first name I knew it wasn’t going to be nice.  So I didn’t read any posts but the last one, which read “Maybe you should quit this group too, because you complain too much.”

This situation I found myself in is really mild, as far as bullying goes.  I have read some things that “trolls” and others have posted online that ought to be criminal (and probably are), such as threatening to rape or kill someone.  Things that have driven women offline, or caused them to change their addresses/phone numbers and so on.

So, in the grand scheme of things, this is not important.  And, like I said, I didn’t bother reading any of the posts – why upset myself that way?

I have a sneaking suspicion that, as described in my previous blog posts, some of these women are of the same ilk as the room mothers who told me not to come back to the school carnival (see the post entitled “Just Bring Cups”).  Women who really do not like other women, outside of their own little clique.

Sometimes I wonder how far we’ve really evolved, when we are still behaving like the kids in “Lord of the Flies”, ready to pounce on anyone who doesn’t fit in.  Trying to drive people offline, or worse.  It’s really pathological, and scary.

And thinking that these people do not do real damage in their real lives, I think, is a mistake.

As a therapist, I find it all disturbing.  As a woman, I wonder why we seem to be disproportionately singled out.  As a human, I am sad for everyone who’s a target.

Today’s weirdness comes from a website called “Science Alert”, and it’s an article stating that NASA is fairly sure there is water on Mars (everyone cheer!!), but that they can’t get a sample of it (everyone boo!!).  It has to do with contamination, and a treaty signed in 1967 forbidding “anyone sending a mission, robot or human, close to a water source in the fear of contaminating it with life from Earth” (“Here’s Why NASA’s Mars Rovers are Banned from Investigating that Liquid Water”, BEC Crew, Science Alert website, 9/3/2105).

My recommendation for the week is a cute cozy mystery about a chef, his friend, and a pig called Hamilton: “Chef Maurice and a Spot of Truffle”, by British author J. L. Lang.

Be good.  Be kind – online and off.

Hijacking the Conversation: Please Be Quiet

I was going to discuss the “Men’s Rights Movement” today, dispel a couple of myths, and explain why women do not see men as “the enemy”, but I got sidetracked by something else.

It is a small firestorm of reaction to something one actress “tweeted” about another actress, and it has caused anger and disappointment amongst some segments of fans, and dismissiveness amongst others.

The Emmys were on TV the other night, and one of the people who won was an African-American actress by the name of Viola Davis, for her performance as lead actress in a show called “How to Get Away with Murder”.

She gave a moving acceptance speech, in which she quoted Harriet Tubman, saying

“ ‘In my mind, I see a line. And over that line I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line, but I can’t seem to get there no-how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’ Let me tell you something: the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.” – “Emmys 2015: Viola Davis Makes History as First Black Woman to Win Best Actress in a Drama Series”, Megan Daley, Entertainment Weekly, 9/20/215.

Aside #1: Harriet Tubman was a leader in the American abolitionist movement – she led slaves to freedom, helped house escaped slaves, was a scout/spy/nurse for the Union during the Civil War, wrote books and gave speeches, and established a home for the aged (if I missed any other achievements, please let me know).  

This is the first time in 67 years that an African-American woman has won an Emmy for Best Actress in a Drama Series.  That is a really big deal, and I know I do not need to explain to my readers why it is.

Aside #2: It’s not the first time an African-American woman has won an Emmy, ever – that honor went to Gail Fisher in 1970, who won for her portrayal as Peggy Fair in the TV show “Mannix”.  She won Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actress in Drama.  She was also the first African-American woman to win a Golden Globe (in 1971 for Actress in a Supporting Role, and in 1973, for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – those were for “Mannix” also).

At any rate, she gave a terrific speech, and that should have been it, along with congratulatory “tweets” from others and so on.

But it wasn’t.

Along came a daytime actress (read that as “actress in a soap opera”) named Nancy Lee Grahn, who plays a lawyer/mobster’s girlfriend in the soap opera “General Hospital”.   She tweeted this:

“I’m a f—-ing actress for 40 yrs. None of us get respect or opportunity we deserve.  Emmys not venue 4 racial opportunity. ALL women belittled.” – “General Hospital Star Slams Viola Davis’ Emmy Speech”, Jacob Bryant, Variety Online, 9/21/2105.

And, if that isn’t bad enough, she continued with this:

“I heard harriet tubman and I thought Its a fucking emmy for gods sake. She wasnt digging thru a tunnel.” – “General Hospital Star Rips Viola Davis’ Emmy Speech: ‘She Has Never Been Discriminated Against’ “, EURPublisher01, EurWeb, 9/22/15.

So, not only did she inject herself into someone else’s happy moment, she also tried to hijack the conversation and make it about all women.  Which, I’m sure you’ll agree, is pretty dismissive and ego-centric of her.

She then goes on to reduce the achievements of Harriet Tubman (whose name she doesn’t even capitalize – and, no, I don’t think that’s a small error, as she manages to capitalize “I”, and the first word of a sentence) to a “tunnel digger”.  A tunnel digger!!  Grrrrr.

What on earth is the matter with this woman??

This is what this actress tried to do – hijack the conversation and make it about women.  In fact, she praised Patricia Arquette that same night for addressing women’s issues in her Emmy speech.

And it didn’t stop there.  She also “tweeted”

“I think she’s the bees knees but she’s elite of TV performers. Brilliant as she is.  She’s never been discriminated against.” – “General Hospital Star Slams Viola Davis’ Emmy Speech”, Jacob Bryant, Variety Online, 9/21/2105.

So, Nancy Lee Grahn knows Viola Davis’ life history??  Of course not, she doesn’t even know the woman.  Yet she thinks she can declare that someone has never been discriminated against. How does she know this?  She doesn’t.  A clue can be found in her characterization of Ms. Davis as “elite of TV performers”.

She’s jealous, pure and simple.  Not only that, she’s an example of one of those idiot white people who says things like “we live in a post-racial America”, or who cites the fact that we have an African-American president to “prove” that racism doesn’t exist anymore.

Now she has just proven, very publicly, that racism is alive and well.  As if anyone needed reminding.

Well, apparently some do need reminding, actually.   Because I see this all the time.  And it infuriates me.

I won’t go into all Ms. Grahn’s subsequent attempts to apologize and backpedal.  Suffice to say it was pathetic, and indicative of her ignorance.  She wasn’t apologizing because she knew what she said was racist, she was apologizing because she wanted to squirm out of her remarks.

You know how I know that?  Her “apologies” were basically her saying she is an advocate for all women and she rephrased things badly.

Those are not apologies.  Those are defensive statements that dismiss the reactions of all the people who understood exactly what she was saying and were outraged by it.

So she continued to try to hijack the conversation about race.  To make it about her, and what she sees are important issues, and the hell with anyone else trying to address anything she doesn’t understand or think is a big deal.

Laughter Was the Best Medicine – Now It’s an Illness.

I have written about this before – violence and peoples’ attitudes towards it.  I will continue to write about it, because it bothers me a lot and I am trying to understand and/or come up with solutions.

I have mentioned that I used to teach anger management.  I taught that in inpatient and outpatient places, mostly because the higher-ups decided that this had to be a weekly thing.  I never did get a straight answer when I asked why this was mandatory.

It’s not a bad thing to learn to identify your triggers and learn to control your behavior when angry.  In fact, it’s something that I think all adults should aspire to do, and to teach their children how to do this, too.

But there are some problems with this simple idea, the idea that one ought to control oneself and not harm others, and a major one is…

…people will not admit that they can control it.

“He/she made me…”

“I wasn’t thinking…”

“I was out of control…”

None of these things are true, actually.  People say them because they think those are good excuses to behave violently.

They’re mistaken.

And that’s the key stumbling block to teaching anger management.  If people will not admit that they are solely responsible for their violent behavior, no amount of group/individual therapy, classes, or workbooks are going to make any difference.

Why do they think like this?

Family, friends, social media, the media in general…all promote this idea of violence as a necessary part of life.

And it feels as if, sometimes when someone is angry, that they aren’t thinking.  They are, of course – you can’t blink an eye without an actual command from your brain (which I characterize as “thought”, because technically it is) – but what’s happening is they are not consciously aware of what they’re thinking.

Sometimes.

I think that, in reality, people who are violent actually DO consciously think things, they just won’t admit it.  Consider this evidence…

Someone hits another person and then runs away when he/she hears the police are coming.

Someone gets into a fight and responds to commands from bystanders (“hit him again” and so on), and later asks to see the video of it recorded on someone’s phone so he/she can post it on Facebook.

Someone hits his partner but makes sure the blows fall on places that won’t show when clothed.

Are you actually going to tell me all these people weren’t thinking at the time they were involved in violent acts?

Of course not.  When I put it that way, it’s clear that all those people engaged in violence knew perfectly well what they were doing.

Because…if you can stop or leave when the police arrive, you’re in control of yourself.

If you remember the fight being recorded by your friend, you are consciously aware of what’s going on.

If you know where to hit so the bruises won’t show, how much more in control can you be?

Still…people will just not admit that they are the ones who are responsible for their own violence.   People are loathe to do that.  And, in a way, that’s kind of a positive thing.

Think about it.  If you cannot admit you are the cause of the violence, might it be because you think what you did is wrong?   And that other people will judge you to be a “bad person”?

Well, that’s the good news.

The bad news is, there are entire segments of the population where violence is becoming more acceptable.  So that reluctance to admit you are violent may become a thing of the past.

Aside #1: It won’t become a thing of the past in psychiatric hospitals or outpatient clinics, because the counselor doesn’t want to hear anything that isn’t the “right” thing to say regarding anger.  Otherwise the patient/client could be stuck there a lot longer.

The thing is, not doing something because you might get caught/punished/condemned for it is not a very effective way to control your actions.  And it’s not a very evolved way of thinking, either, but we won’t address that (much) today.

If fear of being caught and punished was such a good deterrant, then most of our laws would be so effective that the jails would be empty.  Clearly this is not the case.

My opinion about what’s at the bottom of all this is…entitlement.

Aside #2: No, not “entitlements” as in “food stamps”.

Entitlement, according to the Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary is “the condition of having the right to have, do, or get something; the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges).”

I had a psychology professor once who stated that people become violent when something or someone is blocking their goals.  I contend that he didn’t look deep enough into that.

Again, entitlement.  “I deserve to get my goals met.”

In the case of people reacting with violence to such minor behavior as a “dirty look” or a perceived insult of some kind, the thinking is, “I deserve to control how you act around me.”

So, in a weird way, it’s still about control…even as people state that they were out of control when they hit someone.

“She looked at me funny so I hit her.”  I heard that a lot when I taught anger management.

“Why would that bother you, though?” I would ask.

“I know she was thinking bad things about me, I could see it on her face, and she doesn’t have the right to do that.

So, the entitled attitude is that you have the right to control what other people think about you. Or about your mama, your partner, your kids…

So there’s that.  And then there’s an unfortunate twist on that way of thinking…

The Stigma of Mental Illness Extends to Healthcare Providers, Too

I am going to write about something that very few therapists discuss – the common myth that therapists “have their shit together”.

And the reality that they don’t.

There’s a reason why you won’t find support groups titled “Therapists Anonymous”, “Bipolar/Depression Support Group for Therapists”, or “Help! My Significant Other is a Therapist!” and so on.

It’s simple, really, as oft-quoted by people who work in the mental health community, “We are supposed to always have our shit together.”

“Supposed to”.  Not, “actually have”. I can count on one hand the number of therapists I have met who are not suffering from some form of mental illness or substance abuse themselves.

It’s (maybe) surprisingly common.

The number one malady I have observed?  Substance abuse. Particularly of benzodiazepines (i.e., Valium, Xanax) and alcohol.

The number two problem? Mood disorders (major depressive, bipolar).

And a close third?  Personality disorders.

This last is truly alarming, because personality disorders are hard to spot and almost impossible to treat – for one thing, people so afflicted quite often do not think they have a problem.

Aside #1: There are 10 types of personality disorders, according to the DSM V (psychiatric diagnostic manual) – paranoid, schizotypal, schizoid, antisocial, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive. 

Mind you, I want to make it clear that this is based on my observations.  So this is my subjective opinion, nothing more.

The substance abuse issue usually will trip a therapist up in the end, because he or she will often violate boundaries with patients (especially if he or she is a drug and alcohol therapist), act inappropriately (as in, being obviously impaired at work), or get into trouble with the law (DUI, for example).

Although it’s not good for addicted therapists to be treating anyone, for anything, it is at least somewhat self-correcting before too much damage can be done.

The mood disorder problem is the most tragic – for the therapist, anyway – because since a therapist is often unable or afraid to get help, he or she can needlessly suffer for years without anyone knowing.  It’s tragic because it doesn’t need to be that way, but it is that way because there’s no quicker way to get fired than to admit that you have a mental illness.

So no one admits it.

Hiding one’s mental illness is critical.

In other words, the people who are supposed to be so tolerant, so understanding of people afflicted with mental illness are they themselves some of the most judgmental hypocrites around.

The same people who will tell a patient, “Depression is the common cold of mental illness” (6.9% of the American population – and that’s just those adults who are diagnosed – according to the NIMH) in order to reassure the patient that he/she is not some freak of nature, are the same ones who will go to a colleague’s supervisor under the guise of “helping” and relate that so-and-so is on antidepressants that “don’t seem to be helping”.

Aside #2: I have seen it happen to others.  I have had supervisors ask for my clinical opinion of colleagues, and I have refused to give it.  I have heard colleagues complain about other “crazy” therapists, therapists who were good at their jobs and were just too open about having a mental illness – thereby “tarnishing” that “got your shit together” reputation.

It’s tantamount to a doctor getting fired because he/she caught the flu, broke a leg, or suffered from a chronic condition like migraines.  Doesn’t make sense when you look at it that way, does it?

But this is also a good segue into the third mental health problem amongst therapists that I have observed – personality disorders.  And those people are truly dangerous, to patients and staff alike.

Manipulative, self-centered, and fond of drama, a therapist with a personality problem delights in treating very sick patients because he or she – and there’s no polite way of saying this – enjoys seeing people suffer.  And, in fact, I have seen and heard therapists like this make fun of patients in treatment team meetings, display a horrifying lack of empathy, and basically treat the patient as a form of entertainment rather than someone with whom to conduct therapy.

A therapist like this will also cause disruption between staff members, just to sit back and enjoy watching the chaos.  This behavior is evident to staff when patients do it – in fact, the term is called “staff splitting” – but seldom recognized in another staff member until it’s too late (when someone usually gets fired, and it’s not the “sick” therapist).

Aside #3:  I have also seen this behavior in nurses and hospital administrators.  I don’t know if healthcare facilities/professions attract this kind of person, or if I have just had more experience recognizing it.  But I have seen situations where a nurse will go after another, “more popular” (with patients and staff) nurse and get her fired before she knew what hit her.

Randomly Rambling: Music & Social Movements

R.I.P Cilla Black.  She passed on August 1, at age 72.

I first heard her sing in 1964, on the radio (AM, of course), a song called “You’re My World.”  I loved it, and I made my mom buy the 45.

I was 8.  I still can sing the whole song by memory.  I don’t know what it was with her, I think maybe I just loved the very few independent “modern” singers at that time (which also included Dusty Springfield).

This was way, WAY before women played instruments in rock bands – they were all almost universally lead singers.  Or solo acts, like Cilla and Dusty.  It was still very much a man’s world back then, on the very edge of the sexual revolution and feminism.

There were very few role models for little girls.  When we were expected to grow up, marry, have kids. When we were not expected to be good at math or science.  We didn’t talk back, we still had dress codes in school, and we screamed at Beatles’ concerts.

It’s hard to imagine a world like that now.  Even that song I loved, “You’re My World”, ended with the lines

……

Darn it!  I was going to quote the last 2 lines, but my fear of being made to pony-up any amount of money for the priviledge to do so, stopped me.  Here’s a link to a video of Ms. Black singing it, live.

Suffice to say, the last two lines basically stated that if the relationship ended, so did the singer’s world.

Aside #1: Ms. Black did not write the song.  It was originally written – in Italian – by two guys named Gino Paoli and Umberto Bindi (“Il Mio Mondo”, 1963), then Carl Sigman wrote a loose translation in English for producer George Martin.  That’s the song Ms. Black made famous – it was recorded at Abbey Road Studios (“You’re My World”, Wikipedia).

Men defined women back then.  That is the world I grew up in.   Men were supposed to take care of women, protect us, defend us, charge in on a white horse, come by the house with the glass slipper, and so on.

My observation of adults did not reflect that, but I bought into it anyway.  I knew my family was different, I just assumed everyone else’s was of the “knight/princess” variety.

TV reflected that idea, too.  Moms wore dresses and stayed home, dads wore hats/suits and went to work.  My family looked like that from the outside, when I was a little girl.

Here are pictures of how adults dressed back then.

But on TV, Mom and Dad didn’t get drunk and have screaming arguments in the street in front of their house, ending with a dramatic storming out at 3 AM, swearing never to return (over and over again – for years I never got a decent night’s sleep).

Today, that would have been all over the internet and possibly the news.

Back then, people just acted as if nothing had happened.  It was kind of like the popular TV show, “The Twilight Zone”.

But I digress.

My point is, back in the 1960s, women and girls still often took back seats to men.

If you want a really good indication of what that world was like, listen to or read the lyrics to 1963’s hit “Wives and Lovers” (Burt Bacharach, what in hell were you thinking?).  Yes, people really did think like that.  It’s a song that has stuck in my head because I really, really hated it – even as a little girl, it gave me a creepy feeling.

Writing about women’s husbands leaving them because they didn’t take the curlers out of their hair!  Or because they didn’t put on makeup and a dress before their husbands came home from work!

Even later in the 1960s, during social upheaval, It was common back then for women to make the signs for demonstrations, and make the coffee for the meetings, but not be in on the planning.  Even in many leftist circles, we were still 2nd-class citizens.  There were exceptions but we won’t address that today.

It was so ingrained in society, that even when I left home in 1973 to go out into the big, bad world, my mom’s parting shot to me was

“You better find a man to marry you, because God knows you are too stupid to take care of yourself.”

Aside #2: This relationship with my mother was probably one huge reason I have never liked people who drink.  I think she might have been a decent person had she not been an alcoholic – but I never knew her when she wasn’t.

My point is, even the “progressives” at that time – which included my parents – were not really all that progressive.

And later, when Ms Magazine became popular, and a former Playboy bunny became the public mainstream voice of feminism, it was still very exclusionary – but on a different level.

I remember complaining to my history teacher – who wore a woman’s symbol necklace and who encouraged me to join the National Organization for Women (N.O.W.) – that even the fees for high-school students were more than most people could afford, and that I didn’t see anybody but middle- and upper-class white women joining.

I didn’t join.  I wouldn’t even read the magazine.  I have never been a fan of exclusionary so-called progressive movements.

This is not, in any way, to bash feminists.  I consider myself a feminist, too.  This is bashing classism within the feminist movement.   The leadership sees gender as the primary contradiction in society.

I see class as the primary contradiction in society.  I did at 16, and I still do today.

Men are not the enemy.  “Men’s Rights Advocates” probably are, but not men in general.

Anti-women sentiment/misogeny/gender inequality/violence against women are huge problems, yes they are.   Those problems would be ones I would address first, myself, if someone would just give me a damn ride so I could volunteer grrrr.

And so are racism, bigotry against people who love differently, and discrimination against people who have disabilities.  To name just a few of the major categories.

But at the end of the day, if you answer this one, tiny question, it all comes under this one umbrella:  Who profits from oppressing these folks?

Aside #3: It’s not a very large percentage of the population.  The young peoples’ movements on Wall St and in Seattle (and elsewhere) got that right, it’s about 1% or so.  Some of us must have taught our kids well.  

It’s interesting – but predictable – how quickly the Occupy Movement quieted down.  As with most class-based movements, this is always the case.  Co-opting people (i.e., paying people off) is probably the single most successful way to destroy a social movement  – just look at people who were supposed activists in the 1960s who are quite wealthy today and/or connected to the Democratic Party.

If that doesn’t work, though (you know, when someone with principles can’t be bought off), there’s always driving them nuts (the CIA used LSD for this, amongst other things), making sure they’re poor, jailing them, or killing them (MOVE in Philadelphia).

It’s always necessary to silence class analysis, always.

That doesn’t mean people stop trying.  Someone always sees.  Someone always speaks out. Though usually it’s not someone from the class actually being oppressed.  Ironically, there is still a class bias within social movements, even as they present a fairly accurate class position on things.

“Don’t lead, just support” seems to be lost on them.  Intellectualism has greatly reduced the effectiveness of every social movement in this country, post-labor movement heyday (Google it, young ‘uns).

Every time a progressive uses the word “sheeple”, I want to strangle them.  This is the attitude I am writing about.  I expect it from the right-wing, but it infuriates me from the left.

They don’t know what it’s like to be poor, which in itself isn’t worthy of condemnation – it’s the lack of empathy, the smugness that they know it all and don’t have to really try to understand what it’s like to be poor, the “we know what’s best for the masses” bs – that’s what depresses and enrages me.

Which brings me full-circle to one of the reasons I write this blog.

It started out as mourning the death of a brilliant singer, and then ended up, as everything inevitably does…with class contradiction.

Y’all see why I am a hopeless case?  I can’t be any other way and most of the time I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about it.   I desperately hate being poor, but I hate it that anyone else is poor, too, and I guess this is my purpose in life – to let y’all know what it’s really like.

Until I win the lottery.  Or get a good-paying job.  Either one, at this point, seems highly unlikely. But money, aside from making one’s life bearable, is also necessary to fund social movements, and I would love to be in a position to do so.

“There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.”  – Warren Buffett

Like I said, laugh or cry…

Today’s weirdness comes from the site “Malcom’s Musings”, via “The Anomalist” website, and it’s an article about a gnome abduction.

No, not the stealing of garden gnomes by pranksters – though I find those stories highly amusing – but the attempted abduction of a human being by a gnome or something similar.  It’s quite a long post, and some will chalk up the person’s experience to a possible bad reaction to a prescription drug, a sleep disorder, or a combination of the two.

Except her kids apparently had similar “sightings” as children, and never told her about the until she started relating her experience, years later.   So, that struck me as, while not exactly lending credibility to this woman’s story, certainly head-scratching material.  I don’t know what to make of it.

However, I prefer my “whatever it is” that throws things, to invading gnomes.  I find gnomes much scarier.

By the way, the ghost/spirit/whothehellknows is active again, usually making very loud crashing noises in the kitchen. When kitties and I go to check it out – because the activity doesn’t scare my cats at all, oddly enough – nothing is amiss.

It also swept some items off a table, as I was standing right in front of it.  That was weird, watching things move when you are not touching them.

There is also very faint cello music, on occasion. When I asked out loud if it played cello when it was alive, the music abruptly stopped.  I still have no idea what he/she/it wants.  Nancy thinks I should get a tape recorder and see if I can get any EVPs.

I agree.  I can’t afford one, but I agree.

Today’s recommendation is for a website by “The Association of Independent Information Professionals”.  They help people start their own businesses as, basically, information gatherers.  Because for every person who hates researching when they have a particular need for information, there is at least one other person who loves to look things up.

I think that kind of job would be right up my alley.  I did tons of it in grad school, and do tons of it for my blog or just out of curiosity.  I think, though, that like everything else, it requires money.  But maybe one of y’all might find the site helpful.

The other recommendation I had, I stumbled across while searching for a legitimate article about the CIA’s project MKULTRA (to back up my assertion about people being driven crazy by being unknowingly dosed with LSD).  It’s a film from 1955, financed by Sandoz, which shows a (willing) test subject tripping.

It doesn’t appear to have anything to do with the CIA – though the person who posted the video states this particular experiment was funded by the CIA.  I can’t find evidence of that but who knows?

It’s called “Schizophrenic Model Psychosis Induced by LSD 25”.

Be good.  Be kind.  And if you see something move in your garden, out of the corner of your eye…

 

The Great Disconnect: Advertising, Psychology, and Real Life

UPDATE: All the fruit flies are gone.  It took about 4 days.  I highly recommend the Terro Fruit Fly Traps.

Ok, on to today’s post…

I recall my dad telling me that he had teared up in reaction to AT&T’s “Reach out and touch someone” ad campaign – this was in the early 1980s, I think.  The ads showed people reconnecting with loved ones via the telephone, and they were fairly emotional spots.

I didn’t have the same reaction to the ads, mostly because I was a busy mother of young children at the time.  I was reaching out and touching folks on a regular basis, running after kids and what-not.

I thought of my dad’s reaction yesterday, when I saw an ad for Walmart.

This ad, which has a tagline I cannot recall (I don’t know if that says more about me or Walmart), features mini-vingnettes of Walmart workers in their everyday lives, then switches to them succeeding and smiling and practically dancing to work – because Walmart really cares about them.

It states things like, “Yesterday, he was a cashier” as it shows an employee giving his “team” a pep talk as their new manager of some kind.  Or shows a family eating at the dinner table and states, “Yesterday, they couldn’t afford healthy food.”  And so on.

The point is, I guess, that Walmart loves its employees and wants to help them make their lives better.  Then it hints at some big change coming this October (2015).  All the while, upbeat music plays in the background.

I thought, “This is clever.  This really attempts to pull the ol’ heart strings.”

And then I got sad and mad and teary-eyed, but not because of the ad’s message or execution, not directly anyway…

…it was because of the disconnect.

The disconnect between real life, and what we imagine our ideal life to be.  And the power that businesses and people with money and politicians and other people with power/influence have to make that ideal life a reality…

…or not.

I am an idealist.  I am, at heart, an optimist.  And, despite massive evidence and experiences to the contrary, I still stubbornly believe that if you want your life to be a certain way, with persistence you can make it so.  Or similar to what you want, maybe.

It’s nonsense, of course.  My own life attests to that.  I think – seriously – that a lot of this point of view came from watching “people overcome adversity” films as a child.  No, I really do think that.

Movies like “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”, “Mrs. Minniver”, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, and on and on.  Movies where you just knew, no matter what happened, the hero/heroine was going to be ok.

Heck, even one of my all-time favorite movies, “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir” – how I loved Gene Tierney!! – wasn’t supposed to really be an inspirational film, but it ended up being one, because she got to be with the one she loved, in the end.

As a child who often was left to my own devices at home, I watched an awful lot of TV.  As a child whose life was chaotic and full of shouting and hitting and unsafe adults – my next-door neighbor and godfather sexually abused me for years – movies that portrayed adults doing the right thing, battling evil, and overcoming obstacles were my escape into a world I desperately hoped was out there.

Those, and monster/alien B movies heh.  That’s a whole other post on anxiety and monster movies.

So I am firmly convinced that media played a huge role in this ridiculous “tilting at windmills” thing I do.  And that speaks to the power that media have to shape our lives and attitudes.

Advertisers know this, of course – hence the “feel-good” campaigns in general, and that Walmart one in particular.

Effective, too…I am now wondering what this “thing” is that Walmart has planned for October. Not that I expect anything good out of them, because in general I think businesses do what they do based on profit, nothing more nothing less.  But the ad stuck that deadline in my mind, so it was effective in that sense.

The emotional reaction was me thinking about the following:

~ How much this campaign cost…

~ How much research was put into it…

~ How Walmart actually knows what consumers want from them, in terms of how they treat their workers…

~ How Walmart actually has the money and power to make this an actual reality for their workers, but won’t.

How do I know they won’t?  Aside from my cynical, left-of-Fidel-Castro self, it’s because – putting on my psychologist’s hat – the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

Walmart has never done anything good for their workers unless they were pressured into it by someone – whether it’s more hours or a living wage, they just never budged until some unions started making a stink about stuff.

Aside #1: Gah! I really wish there was a union of therapists, that is so badly needed for therapists and their patients.  Why don’t I…oh yeah, I don’t work as one anymore, am too much of a troublemaker, and therapists as a whole are an “everyone for himself” kind of profession.  As I painfully discovered. Several times.

So, Walmart knows.

They know the American people, even as they shop there in droves, are not thrilled about the bad press Walmart gets every time it does something cruel or boneheaded – like when they held food drives for their employees, because their employees had to get food stamps while working there (because they weren’t being paid enough to afford to eat).

Walmart does not want to be seen as “the bad guy”.  I can’t actually see it making a huge dent in their sales, but I guess it must.  I’m sure it’s that, and not Sam Walton crying at night because the bad press hurt his feelings.   Because…well, many obvious reasons why he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the press except in terms of the bottom line of profits.

Oh Joy! Oh No! Ack!

Hello, again, all…

The “joy” part of this title is that the wheels for Coco arrived today!  Of course, I opened the box and…I don’t know why I do this to myself.  I knew I wasn’t going to understand how to put the wheels on.  I have this mechanical reasoning learning disability, a bad one – I am incapable of understanding diagrams and assembly directions.  Yet I continue to hope that one day I will magically acquire this ability.

No.  Took one look and decided “uh uh, this is a job for my friend Nancy.”  Nancy, y’all may recall, lives downstairs.   She’s a really helpful woman, who knows how to do things like this.  So I sent her a text (not knowing if she was sleeping, I didn’t want to pound on her door and disturb her, as she works crazy hours).

I’m sure by Monday, the wheels will be on.  And, hopefully, I will finally ride my bike!!

The “oh no” and “ack” exclamations have nowt to do with Coco and Her Magic Wheels.

They have to do with Wednesday’s topic: internet anonymity.

If you read Wednesday’s post, you know I encountered a rather snarky individual on a UFO blog site who jumped in a conversation he was not a part of, just to let me know that I, as an “AC” (“anonymous contributor”), was not worthy of him engaging in any dialogue with.

My thoughts on that were he’s an egotistical asshole, so what?  And after I wrote my blog piece, which mentioned him only briefly, I forgot both him and the blog site in question.

Then I got an email from the site, which sends emails out when replies are written to threads you post on.  Here’s where the “oh no” comes in, as in that (sorta) old expression, “Oh no, he didn’t!”

Someone else, who also uses his full name, posted something directly to me, disguised as a further explanation of why he and this other guy think “ACs” are the devil’s spawn or something, but was really a personal attack.  I saw it for what it was, I knew he was baiting..

…but I bit.  That’s the “ack” part.  I got angry because he stated he clicked on my “muse” ID, and nothing was there.  Then he launched into a brief tirade about how it’s easy to “aggressively attack people” when you don’t have the guts to identify yourself, or words to that effect.

As I had only asked a couple of questions, and never attacked anyone (and even thanked the nice guy who told me what “AC” stood for), this really pissed me off.  Because he was implying that I had some kind of troll agenda, just because he didn’t know what my name was.

Or that I like eggplant, which is the first line in my Google ID.  I have no idea what he clicked on, but there is info on my Google ID and I told him so.  I also told him I didn’t know why he couldn’t access it, but I didn’t care about “fixing” it, anyway, because I only use Google to post online when it’s a shortcut.

I then went on to state – and here’s where I really might have gotten carried away – my full name, the town I live in, my educational background, my age, the fact that I am on disability and am a survivor of domestic violence, and that I write a blog that has all this information – and more – on it, and that it’s public, on WordPress.  I didn’t mention the name, because I think it’s rude to plug one’s blog site on someone else’s blog, unless they ask.

Oh, and I told them my journal articles in cognitive science are available online, which they can Google if they want.   Normally, I do not throw my education at people like that, but they both were so smug and so know-it-all about being stupid posters on someone else’s blog site, that it just irked the hell out of me.

“Think you know it all?  I’M SMART, ASSHOLE.  WHAT PUBLICATIONS DO YOU HAVE?” This was what I was thinking.  It’s kind of a petty part of me, and probably comes from being called “stupid” by my family as I was growing up (sorry to disillusion anyone, but, yes, they did that).

The owner of the site should have stepped in and took this person to task for his snarky implications, but he didn’t – therefore sort of letting it go unchallenged unless I said something. And I wasn’t even going to say anything, not to the first guy, but then the second one posted and it was like poking me with a sharp stick.

At any rate, it was such a long rant that I actually had to edit it in order to post it, as the site has limits on long your comment can be.  I was so angry!  I even stated that I not only hadn’t planned to attack people, but I didn’t even have any definitive views on what UFOs are (except for alien abduction, which I believe is a sleep disorder thing).  I pointed out that, of the 3 people who responded to my comment, only 1 was civil and nice…

…the other “anonymous contributor”.

And that they, both with their full names, were rude and engaged in a personal attack on someone for merely asking questions.  I ended that part of the rant by telling them that their “theory” about how people who post under their real names do not post verbally aggressive comments was not true, as evidenced by their own boorish behavior and also by there not being ONE shred of scientific research that backs up that claim.

I phrased this as “As an expert – and I am – I can tell you there is NO scientific research to back up your claims.”  Oh, I was in full-bitch mode.

Then I apologized to the blog site owner for ranting, but stated I felt I needed to defend myself against these 2 readers and their accusations.

I haven’t heard back.  Either no one commented on it, or the blog owner deleted it. Because…females and their rants.  The site is only commented on by men, I suspect because they run all the females off, and also because the “UFO Community” at large is male-dominated and extremely sexist.

Even if I get another email indicating someone replied, I know better than to even open it.  And now this is yet another site that I won’t be reading – even though it is interesting – because there are just too many dickheads on it to make it pleasurable.  Oh, and because the blog owner, this author who I really used to like, didn’t even have the balls to rein in his “regulars”.

I am only somewhat dismayed that I lost my temper.  I am not worried about what I wrote, because I am on the internet in several different places and it’s not hard to find this information I revealed in my comment.  No doubt, they probably all just dismissed it as the post-menopausal ravings of some weird woman in Pennsylvania.  Pfft, I don’t care.

It’s like the last Daily Beast comment I posted, before deciding to not deal with that site anymore, either.

It seems one of the “social justice warriors” who posts comments to neo-cons, such as “you’re racist!  I bet you would take the food out of a Black kid’s mouth!” and other stupid things, decided to disclose that he once worked with the cops as a security guard (I bet the cops didn’t see it that way), and was “horrified” at the things the cops did to shoplifters.

Which he stood by and watched.  Time and time again, because he “didn’t want to get fired”. Watched, as cops stripped women to search them, made disgusting comments, even inappropriately touched them, and on and on.

Now, y’all know me – what do you think I felt about that?  Do you think maybe I called him a coward?

Do you think I told him he had a lot of nerve coming down on other people, when all he did was write crap on the internet and when it really would count, he did…nothing?

Do you think maybe I told him he ought to get down on his knees and ask those women’s forgiveness for doing nothing while their lives were ruined?  And asked him how he could sleep at night?

You bet I did.  But, of course, it didn’t stop him from doing the same thing, day in and day out, as if he didn’t have a hypocritical bone in his body.

So, I decided, enough of this.  I know eventually, in my heart, that this guy is going to think about what I wrote.  And hopefully it will stick in his liberal-ass conscience for a good long while.

But I can rant and emote here.  And I need to focus on my own life, right now, while I can still do something about it.  Because if I don’t get my health somewhat under control, and get as fit as I can get, I won’t be able to help anyone else.

I can’t promise I won’t pop off on another comments section.  But I am hoping that getting wheels on Coco will have me out and about in the world more often, biking around my small town and enjoying the summer.

And I know from personal experience – because people have told me this – that what I say to people does have an impact.  If not materially, at least it gooses their consciences now and again.  And if I can change just one person’s attitude towards the rest of the human race, if I can convince just one to be kinder in his/her daily life, if I can put just one asshole in his place…

…it’s ok.  I am doing what I can.  Now it’s time to focus on me.

I forgot to recommend this guy last time…he is oh-so-funny, and anyone who has had regular contact with the healthcare system (either as a patient or an employee), will love this man.  He’s the Weird Al of the medical field…I give you….

Dr. ZDogg in da house!!

He’s like what Dr. Wonderful would be like, if Dr. Wonderful did song parodies (I’ll have to ask him, you never know!).

Be good.  Be kind.  Have a wonderful, joyful weekend!

 

The Internet is Like the World’s Playground…

…and not in a good way.  No, not at all, in my opinion.

I have written about – or made reference to – the lack of politeness norms on the internet.  My interest in this subject goes way back to when I was in graduate school at the University of Memphis (from 1997-2000), when I studied under Dr. Art Graesser in the Cognitive Science Lab. Some of the research I was involved in was language-based, particularly something called “conversational smoothness” in terms of how an intelligent tutoring system (AI) would reproduce that.

Aside #1: Wow do I ever miss that!  For one of the first times in my life, I actually felt smart!

At any rate, when I wasn’t studying and so on, I was into chat.  Primarily Yahoo chat.  And I became really interested in politeness norms regarding chat – mostly because, aside from turn-taking, there really weren’t any.  People would argue, and sometimes “text bomb” people (causing the chat program to crash), and generally were verbally combative at times.

I thought this was as bad as it gets.  Oh I was so wrong.  It’s a lot worse now.

Besides the usual rude things I read in comments sections these days, and there are certainly many of those, there is something emerging that puzzles me to no end, and indicates to me that there is a certain pathology manifesting itself.

It is the idea of an “anonymous contributor”.

Twice this week, I have run into this myself, regarding my own comments.  And it really, really surprised me.

The first one was when I read an article by a psychiatrist who was reviewing a film about schizophrenia.  He made the remark that, in his opinion, only a psychiatrist could have made the film, particularly someone who had personal experience with schizophrenia.  I posted a comment asking why he said this, as there are many professionals besides psychiatrists who are quite familiar with schizophrenia – like nurses and therapists.

Aside #2: I wasn’t trying to be an asshole.  I just wanted to know why he thought that.  In retrospect, recalling psychiatrists I have worked with – SOME psychiatrists – I ought to have known better.  His response was somewhat…erm…defensive – and clearly I had inadvertently offended him.  But that’s not my main point.

Main point: About 2 minutes after I submitted this comment – which was under my actual first name – I got an email from the editors stating (as the next comment under mine) that they require commenters to state their full names and titles.  Since I was registered at the site under my full name and so on, I thought it odd but replied in the next comment what my name and title were – Ms. Victoria Pomeroy, MS (psychology). I threw the “Ms.” in there just to sound like I was taking umbrage at the whole thing, which I was, actually.

Aside #3: The umbrage thing was lost on someone who replied to the content of my initial comment, as evidenced by him addressing me as “Victoria” and not “Ms. Pomeroy”.  Or maybe the way he addressed me was a deliberate familiarity – and, considering the profession, I think that’s more likely than an inability to recognize the “hmph!” tone I used when referring to myself as “Ms.”  

Pfft!  I do not consider any site that someone registers for – which usually includes full name, email address, sometimes age, sometimes gender, to be “anonymous.”  Even how the editors addressed me when they stated that thing about “full name and title” was odd, as it was in quotes – “Victoria”, as if this were some sort of nom de plume.

Gee, that wouldn’t be very creative now, would it?  Kinda like the name of this blog – it’s not creative, and it clearly states what my name is.

Well, so, no big deal.  I was somewhat put off by it, but considering the source – the type of internet publication it is – that’s just how those types of folks roll.

The next experience I had regarding this was when I asked a simple question in a comments section of a…well…how do I describe this?  It’s a blog written by someone whose books I have read and like, who is involved in the UFO community.

Aside #4: You need to stop that eye-rolling, or your eyes will freeze that way, I promise you! Yes, I mean you!!  I see you!! Stop it!

*Clears throat*

The blog post in question was just the author laying down some boundaries, which I think were long overdue.  He stated there would be no more insulting remarks, name-calling, and so on. Pretty straightforward, wouldn’t you think?

This caused a discussion to develop amongst the “regulars” (no, I am not one, I am a “newbie”) concerning certain people and their stances on things like the “Roswell Slides” (a non-event, don’t even bother Googling it), and then morphing into a sort of tirade by some people regarding “ACs”.  Oh and some mention, in the same train of thought, to “AJB”.

Air conditioners?  Alternating current?  And I had no guess as to what “AJB” was.

So I asked.  And, at the site, I am registered by my Google ID, which is “muse”.  Which, to my understanding, also has my correct email address and probably other Googly things, like my picture of Finnian-Da-Kitteh as my ID pic and all.

Aside #5: Yes, yes, I am getting a real pic taken uh…when I feel un-shy some day.  Don’t hold your breath.  I have always been camera shy, and it’s a miracle there is even that one pic of me at 16, taken by Stange.  His charm, no doubt!

Ok, so I asked what “AC” and “AJB” meant.  A nice person, who only has initials in his ID, explained that “AC” – which meant “alternating current” to him (he’s old like me I guess heh) – in internet lingo means “anonymous contributor”.

The “AJB” refers to someone that a lot of people who comment on that blog do not like, whose involvement in the aforementioned “Roswell Slides” is the subject of apparently much derision and internet posturing.  I guess he posts on the comments section a lot, but wasn’t commenting on that particular article (perhaps wisely).

Aside #6: I also asked what was considered an “expert” in the UFO field (no, I wasn’t baiting, I wanted to know what their operational definition was, since a few posters had mentioned that), and what constitutes anonymity if we are all required to register using Google IDs and so on.  No one answered that.

Ok, so far so good…until I read the response to my thanking this poster for his explanations.

The response was written by someone who posts under his (apparent) full name, first and last. He derided the fact that “two ACs” were discussing what the abbreviation meant, and went on to declare that anyone who is an AC isn’t worth his time to respond to (irony is lost on him, I guess).

This is definitely someone who is not only stuck on himself, but who also has to have the last word.  His previous comments on the thread dealt with how skeptics misuse Occam’s Razor (of course he had to spell it as Okham’s, because he’s so much smarter don’t ya know) to bash such clearly superior ideas as aliens being the cause of unexplained phenomena.

As opposed to, you know, clearly unscientific ideas such as sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations.

Sigh.

Moto, Meet Coco!

I read a story online about a woman who claimed she had been sent hate mail from an anonymous neighbor, telling her she should stop being “relentlessly gay”.  Julie Baker stated this was prompted by a string of colored Mason jars with lights that she strung up on her porch, creating a rainbow of colors that she says made this so-called neighbor think of gay people.

She had a picture of the note, and put it up on her Facebook page.  It was full of that internet faddish writing of randomly capitalized words that for some reason is so popular on Facebook and other websites nowadays.

Her friends then forwarded it to George Takei on Twitter, because Mr. Takei is out of the closet and is a huge supporter of gay rights.  All good so far, right?

No.  Because the purpose of this woman and her friends doing this was so she could “redecorate” and “remodel” her house, supposedly to “make it really gay” with a rainbow roof and so on.  She wants money.  She started a GoFundMe account, and so far has raised over $43,000!!

Turns out, this woman most likely wrote the note herself.  Her Facebook page, before someone corrected it, was full of that random capitalization style of writing, and looked suspiciously similar to the note.  She has never filed a police report and, when one of the local cops went to check it out, she wouldn’t show him the note – claiming she no longer had it.

Uh huh, ok then.

Long before this, her Facebook page also chronicled her troubles with owning an old house that needs repairs.  Oh, such First World problems!

Neighbors, who wrote in to the comments sections on various articles that covered this story, stated that the woman lives across the street from an openly gay-friendly church.  They also stated the woman has so much debris strewn across her yard that she has amassed fines. Fines which she can’t pay.

Friends – or, former friends now, I guess – also stated that the woman owes property taxes.  And that she and the people who are promoting this are planning a big party.

The article I linked to here states that she was originally going to donate everything over $5000, but a friend of hers who also runs a website that sells t-shirts for Julie “arrogantly proclaimed: ‘…that would be, pardon my french, an epic fucking waste, regardless of the charity, because Nixy is more generous than twenty average people put together.’ ” (“Relentlessly Gay Fundraiser by Julie Baker: Suspicions Abound”, Matt’s Repository website, 6/22/15)

I think this is going to signal the end soon of GoFundMe, because people do stuff like this.

Yes, she didn’t lie about wanting money for personal reasons.  But she did apparently make up this whole persecuted thing, for her own personal gain.  And that’s shameful.

Plus, what she gets in donations could have been spent on someone who really does need legitimate help on that site.  So she’s actually harming others.  She is also harming the gay community – of which she’s not even a part – by making their cause sound frivolous, when it’s anything but.

I thought about all this, as I was pondering ways to get around more effectively – specifically, so I could volunteer and also maybe, just maybe, take an aerobics class or two so I can get healthy and get off disability.

Stay with me – it all ties in together.

I have written about how I take the Blair Senior Services van to go to doctor’s appointments and also to go grocery shopping, because I don’t have a car and I am not able to walk to and from bus stops (yet).

It costs nothing to go to/from medical places.  Anywhere else, like grocery stores, it costs $6 round trip.  And getting a month’s worth of groceries on and off a passenger van is difficult.  If I could go 2 or 3 times a month, it would be a lot easier.

But that’s $18/month.  Add in trips to other places I might need to go – Petco, or to buy clothing, cleaning products and so on, and that’s even more money.

So I thought of GoFundMe.  No, I don’t think it’s my right to have a car.   But it would help me get back into life if I had one – and even with gas and insurance, it would still be a bargain for me because I could do so much more with my life.

I could volunteer.  I have tried to do that at numerous places, but it’s a no-go, because if you don’t have transportation….too bad.  No one carpools.  No one wants to help out another volunteer, even one who would contribute gas money.  I have applied at 5 places, and none contacted me back as soon as I asked them about transportation.

I could take reduced-priced aerobics classes.  I could…apply for jobs.  I could even drive down to Memphis and visit my son and his wife, or to Atlanta and visit my other son.  i haven’t seen either of them in 2 years.  And I really, really miss them.

If one of my cats got sick, I could take them to the vet (a worry, because if one got sick now…I can’t call a taxi, and they won’t take cats on the van…).

When I get suddenly sick, and I have been doing that a lot lately since the “mystery illness” has come back, I could actually go to the doctor – the van requires 24 hour notice, and no way am I calling an ambulance for fever, vertigo, and nausea.

Then I read about Julie Baker, and her stupid, selfish fundraising efforts.  And I felt guilty even thinking about using GoFundMe after that.

There’s an App for That: Hysteria Over Technology-Fueled STDs?

I am pretty sure some people – who either ought to know better, or should keep their mouths shut – do not understand the difference between “correlation” and “causation”.  And they use this to stir-up hysteria over one thing or another.

This crossed my mind due to 2 articles I read: one was about the DEA’s claim that heroin use is on the rise, and that this is caused by pain medication availability; and the other is an article about Rhode Island’s increase in STDs that are supposedly due to the increase in “hookup” apps like Tinder.

Aside #1: I really don’t understand how my dad could have been the assistant director of the DEA, knowing how opposed he was to the war on drugs.  I guess he thought he could change things from the inside.  He believed that, basically, all drugs should be legal.  And the difference between he and I? He never got fired – a fact that I find astounding even to this day.

So… the first article was called “National Heroin Threat Assessment Summary”It begins by reporting that deaths due to heroin overdoses tripled from 2010 to 2013 – a total of 8,260 people.

I think it’s horrible and devastating when anyone dies, but let’s put this in perspective.  8,260 people out of how many people in the US?   324,892,909 and counting (“Worldometers Population Live Counter”, 5/27/2015 5:57 PM EST).  Although tragic and painfully meaningful to the families and friends of those who passed, this does not indicate an epidemic by any stretch of the imagination.

That’s the first thing that jumped out at me.  I wondered how it was that conservatives freak out over this.  But, let’s read on…

Aside #2: The DEA report PDF file keeps timing out and resetting.  I hope this isn’t a problem for you, too.  But now, as I write this and it has timed out for the 3rd time, I have to go to a secondary source, which I hate to do.  Sorry.

I am switching to a Rhode Island source, which will dovetail nicely into the article on STDs.  Rhode Island seems to have a lot of problems these days!

According the the Providence Journal

“The higher demand for heroin is partly driven by an increase in controlled prescription-drug abuse over the past decade. A recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found that four out of five recent new heroin users had previously abused prescription pain relievers.” (“DEA Report: Heroin Use, Availability is Climbing”, Lynn Arditi, Providence Journal, 5/22/2015).

First of all, SAMHSA is widely used by rehabs, psych hospitals, and other mental health institutions for material on drugs – it’s a federal agency.  They do not have a vested interest in anything but a total ban on drugs, and they make that very clear in the literature they hawk to therapists and others.  They oppose legalization of marijuana and they also want to include “marijuana addiction” as a legitimate addiction for which people need treatment.

Because there is a lot of money in drug rehab facilities, and the more people you can diagnose as “addicts”, the more people you can get into rehab (using not only conventional tactics but also the drug diversion programs).

Anyway, I have a few issues with this “pain medication leads to heroin abuse” idea.  For one thing, the report often referenced by the good ol’ DEA is a self-report…by heroin users.

This is one study that makes such claims, and it is cited on the webpage National Pain Report (a site that purports to be pro-pain patient but isn’t really):

“Cicero and his colleagues analyzed data gathered from more than 150 drug treatment centers across the United States. More than 9,000 patients dependent on narcotic painkillers, or opioids, completed the surveys from 2010 to 2013. Of those, almost 2,800 reported heroin as their primary drug of abuse.” (“Study Finds Most Heroin Users Start with Painkillers”, Pat Anson, National Pain Report, 5/28/2014).

So, addicts who use heroin are saying they started with painkillers?  No, even their own quote which I just cited doesn’t say that.  If anything, it says that of the 9,000 opiate addicts (and it doesn’t say which opiates), 2,800 prefer heroin.

That’s all.  It does not say that heroin users started with painkillers.  Don’t people read??

But yes, I have heard that many, many times as a drug counselor, and I have already written about this in this blog.  The “prescriptions lead to heroin” trope.  And I have seen no real evidence of it, not in the way the anti-drug people mean, anyway.

“I had a back problem and the doctor prescribed narcotics, then cut me off so I had to turn to heroin.”

“A friend gave me pills and I got addicted.”

And so on and so on.  These reports are not reliable, and the reason?  Addicts lie.  A lot.  They will never say, “I love to party and figured I could get high on pills, but they got too expensive so I switched to heroin.”

Or, “I wanted to get high and another addict turned me on to some heroin.”

Many have had no history of pain medication abuse.  Many, particularly here in Central PA, have multi-generational heroin addicts in their families.   They start, and stay with, heroin.

I have only had one client tell me that the reason she used heroin was that it was fun, and she was also the most successful at getting and staying clean.  She was honest, which is the first step an addict needs to take before he/she can stop.

So the DEA trots out that tired old chestnut about painkillers and heroin in order to support its war against pain clinics and pharmacies.  And who are the real victims?

The pain patients.  Because it is getting harder and harder to get pain medication now.

What people fail to understand, besides that addicts lie, is that just because someone used pain meds earlier in life, and now uses heroin, does not mean one caused the other.

They used to say that about marijuana not too long ago, remember?  Heck, they still say that about marijuana here in Central Pa, because there is a heroin problem here and they don’t understand why, or how to treat it.  Their solution is to just toss everyone in jail.  And then let many plead out to go to rehab.  Cha-ching!

The DEA reminds me of a desperate, spurned lover who will do anything to achieve his/her ends.  Even when most critically thinking adults read the DEA report, and conclude that the DEA is grasping at straws, it still doesn’t deter them from proclaiming that prescription pain meds are evil and lead to heroin addiction.