Monthly Archives: October 2016

Just Make It Stop

Brief health note: I have an appointment with an endocrinologist on November 15.  Hopefully, we can get to the cause of the flushing and labile blood pressure.  And since I have changed my diet, I haven’t felt nauseated and have managed to stay out of the hospital for 3 weeks.

Today I was going to write about how silly/weird/dangerous Trump is making America look to the rest of the world, then I was going to write about the polls in various states regarding the presidential election.  Serious stuff.

But my heart just wasn’t in any of it.

I am sick of hearing and reading about politics.  I am ready for the election to just.be.over.

I mentioned possibly not watching the third and final debate when I last blogged – and I didn’t.  I did try to watch the Alfred E. Smith dinner, but I didn’t watch for long…it was painful.

This dinner, which is televised every time it is on, has always been a funny and light break from the political debates of the day.  I usually watch it and laugh.  It is a non-partisan dinner held by the Catholic Archdiocese of New York to raise money for their charities.

But this year, Donald Trump, ever the out-of-step doofus, either didn’t understand the point of the speeches, or just decided he was going to use the dinner as a platform for his vitriol against Hillary Clinton (I tend to think the latter), and he got booed for it.

Booed.  I think that’s a first for the event.

It wasn’t that his jokes were bad – though they were – it’s that he had so few of them.  He did throw his wife Melania under the bus, making a joke about how she copied the First Lady’s speech.  But self-deprecating humor?  Nowhere to be seen.

At one point he compared himself to Jesus, stating he (Trump) also worked for his dad as a carpenter.  For 3 weeks.  Charming.

I couldn’t watch any more of it.  I am just so sick of the sound of Trump’s voice, and of the poisonous lies that come out of his mouth.  He has no sense of humor unless you count his making fun of people who are other-abled and his insulting “pet names” he has for anyone he doesn’t like as “humor”.

Trump brings down every venue he’s in.  Unless, of course, you are a hate-filled misogynist who enjoys laughing at other peoples’ expense, and thinks name-calling is funny.

One person I do like listening to is Elizabeth Warren.  She has such high energy, and such an obvious affection for Hillary and women in this country in general, that it’s always a treat for me to watch her.

She took Trump’s remark about Hillary being a “nasty woman” and embraced it for all of us. Specifically, she stated

“Get this, Donald.  Nasty women are tough.  Nasty women are smart.  And nasty women vote.  And, on November 8, we nasty women are going to march our nasty feet to cast our nasty votes to get you out of our lives forever.”  (“Elizabeth Warren Rallies ‘Nasty Women’ to Vote for Clinton”, Asma Khalid, NPR website, 10/24/16)

Yeah!  And all over the country, women are referring to themselves as “nasty women”.  That did pick me up for awhile.

But I am ready for the election to be over, and clearly I think that Hillary is going to win.  The latest AP poll has her leading nationally by 14 points.  I wish I could say I am surprised her lead isn’t larger, but one thing this election period has taught me is that there are far more reactionaries in this country than I had previously thought.

It’s still quite astounding to me that the GOP is running a candidate like Trump, and I wonder if there isn’t a split coming after the election between traditional conservatives and the alt right, resulting in a 3rd party.

That would obviously be a big advantage to the progressives in this country.

But for now, I wish the right would just all shut up.  They don’t have anything interesting to say, they have been insulting women and minorities for years, and if they want to fracture into a hundred different political parties it would suit me just fine.

November 8 can’t come fast enough for me.

Recommendations for this week….the new season of Longmire is on Netflix.  Great series, and worth a look.

Be good.  Be kind.   Happy Samhain!

 

 

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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

domesticviolence1…and also breast cancer awareness month.  I lost a sister to breast cancer, years ago, and I would encourage all my female readers to get regular mammograms.

My focus on domestic violence is mainly because my life was almost lost to it 6 1/2 years ago, so I have first-hand knowledge of the effects it can have on someone.

The night I left my abuser, he had fallen asleep holding a tire iron.  I had no doubt that, once he woke up, he would have beaten me to death with it.  And so I tip-toed out of the house and out to my car, where I had stashed a packed bag in the trunk.

If I had not had a car, I don’t know what I would have done.  I had actually asked 2 people for help leaving (in the form of “come get me”) but both of them let me down.  They ignored my pleas and I was on my own.  Now the car is gone, due to a catastrophic engine failure, and I find myself in a different kind of dire situation due to lack of one – being able to move closer to one of my kids so they can help me in an emergency.

Very soon after, I found the apartment I still live in today, and I was able to get the 2 kittens away from my abuser by “trading” them for the computer I had left behind (the kitties have been living with me happily ever since).

The nightmares have stopped.  I feel safe in my home.  I am ok.  Kitties are happy and healthy.

But I have always thought about other people who have gone – or are going through – the same kind of abuse I did, and how there are still not many services around for them.  I think about how I would run a shelter – one that included pets and also adult children with disabilities – that could really address this problem of domestic abuse.

To have someone endure abuse, and then have to decide if he/she can leave pets behind is an additional burden placed on an already stressed-out survivor.  As far as his or her adult children go, most survivors choose to stay and not leave their child behind.  Most shelters – and this includes the one I fled to – will not allow adult children to stay in the shelter with the survivor.

This is unacceptable.  This policy prevents people from getting the help they need.

In an ideal shelter – in a shelter I envision – there wouldn’t be one house with bunk beds in each room.  It would be more like a compound, with individual units (like motel rooms) where each family and their pet(s) could stay while transitioning to permanent housing.

Counselors would be assigned to the units (maybe 1 counselor to 4 units, for example), and they would help the survivor obtain whatever was needed to help him or her start a new life – whether it be permanent housing, a job, further education, medical assistance, or other resources.

That is my vision.  Unfortunately, I am unable to move on this due to my recurring transportation and illness issues, but maybe this will spark some action from someone who is able to help.

This vision is one of the things that motivates me to continue to push to get well.  Clearly, a shelter that operated as I think it should would cost more than how they are run today, but that’s where grant writing and fundraising come into play.  It also would help to have a paying job on the side.

That’s where the motivation is for me to go back to school and either get my PhD, or find some way to get a license (licensed professional counselor).

So much to do, so little time.  But I have to get well first.  And I may have to travel out of state (or at least to Pittsburgh or Hershey) to get the medical care I need.

On Friday I will see one of my primary care physicians and see how quickly I can get an appointment with an endocrinologist.  Medicare being what it is, I can’t even try for an appointment without a referral from my pcp.  Fingers crossed that I can get an appointment soon, and that it’s in Blair County where I live.

I am a dreamer.  I am a survivor.  And right now, I can use all the help I can get.

Today’s recommendation, if you can stomach it, would be the 3rd and final presidential debate tonight at 9 PM EST.  I watched the other 2 but am not sure how much of this final one I will watch – my blood pressure is high enough, thanks.

The Saturday Night Live parody this Saturday should be quite funny, however, and no doubt we will have every channel doing post-debate analysis anyway, so if you don’t watch it live I don’t think you will miss anything.

In the meantime, here is a short clip of our president that illustrates, for me, how much I will miss him when he leaves office:

I will miss First Lady Michelle Obama, too:

Be good.  Be kind.  Take care of one another.

Blood Pressure’s Insane, Out With Whole Grain, and the Presidential Campaign

It’s been about 3 months since I last wrote in my blog.  I’ve been ill.

My blood pressure doesn’t want to come down, and the doctors will keep switching my meds until they get it under control.  And, YES, I’ve already tried meditation and all the other “natural” remedies…there seems to be some problem in my body that’s causing this and the other symptom of flushing.

The stomach problems I have been having are finally being properly addressed – I have a hiatal hernia, an inflamed esophagus, and something called gastroparesis.

Aside #1: Gastroparesis means that my digestive system is really super slow.  As in, it takes about 16-18 hours to digest a meal.  The symptoms are: feeling full after only a few bites, reflux, nausea, and sometimes vomiting.

Sometimes it is due to diabetes, but not in my case.  Mine is “idiopathic”, which means they don’t know why this is happening.

The solution to this gastroparesis is to change what and how I eat.  I am to eat 4-6 small meals a day (so far, not been able to eat that much), and I have to ditch my entire way of eating, grrrr.

My “normal” diet has included raw fruits and vegetables and food high in fiber.  Those foods aggravate my condition so…

Out with brown rice, in with white rice.  Out with whole wheat bread, in with white bread.  Out with raw fruits and vegetables, in with cooked-to-death products like applesauce and canned pears.

Basically, I have had to scuttle everything I know about a “healthy diet” and replace it with low fiber food so my stomach can get better.  That also means a lot of vegetable broth, Jello, yogurt, and other easily digested food.  Ugh!

The other symptoms I am having – high blood pressure and flushing – are still unsolved and now I have to go see an endocrinologist.  Might be a tumor somewhere, or some adrenal issue. So, the search continues.

Since July, I have been in the hospital about every 2 weeks, mostly due to the stomach issues but being kept in hospital because my blood pressure would not go down.

If the systolic number (the top number) is 180 or over, and/or the diastolic number (the bottom number) is 110 or higher, then I have to go to the hospital.  I’ve been out of the hospital a week now and so far my blood pressure hasn’t consistently gotten that high, so maybe I can finally keep out of the hospital for longer than 2 weeks.  It approaches that, and so far has been “very high”, but not a hypertensive crisis.

Aside #2: I really want to get back to my volunteer work, but have to give things time so I can make sure I can actually meet my volunteer commitment before I go back.  I need the stipend, I will admit. 

Meanwhile, as I have had a LOT of down-time, I have been watching a great deal of news, and also of course I have watched both presidential debates.

Wild, isn’t it?  I can’t recall a time when we’ve had such a dumbass like Trump running for president, and I certainly can’t recall a time when the sexism flew so freely – oh, except for the time when Hillary Clinton was first lady and had the nerve to propose a healthcare plan (that’s sarcasm).

I am convinced that much of the opposition to Hillary is due to the sexist idea that women can’t be presidents.   The reaction to her is too vitriolic and hateful to be anything else.

And, as usual, when you empower the far right to speak their minds, what you get is ugly rhetoric and hatred of anything that is, say, modern or post-1950.

Ah, the 1950s – when people “kept in their place”.  White men had the final say in everything, and everyone else was told to shut up.

To those people I say, “Shut up and crawl back under your rocks.  You can’t stop progress and, like it or not, one of the absolute best things about our country is its diversity.”

The thing that gets to me is how smug the right is.  They have those smirks on their faces as they talk about their “moral superiority”, even as their candidate confesses to sexually assaulting women because “when you’re a star, they let you do what you want” (“Trump Recorded Having Extremely Lewd Conversation About Women in 2005”, David A. Farenthold, Washington Post online, 10/8/16).

They spread lies about Hillary Clinton that are based solely on the trash that comes out of their candidate’s mouth.  If they would bother to fact-check, they would see that the liar is their candidate, not Hillary.  But…fact-checking is harder than just repeating outrageous gossip on Facebook, and apparently not as fun, either.

My sisters!!  What is wrong with you?  Did your parents not teach you critical thinking skills?

I often wonder which generation raised these idiots.  I guess maybe the one that came before mine, the ones who preferred to defend the Vietnam War and who spread fear about African-American citizens having the same rights and opportunities as white people enjoy.

That would kind of square with the “elderly vote” – Trump’s base of 70-90 year olds.  You know, my generation has been referred to as “the me generation”, but our attitudes pale next to the entitled, selfish, hateful ones of the people who came before us.

As for those who came after us, I have no idea why they are so reactionary and frightened.  I’m sure, though, dear readers, that you will be happy to comment about that on this blog.

Again, I feel it all comes down to the inability or unwillingness to take in multiple forms of information (not Breitbart or Fox News), evaluate, and form an educated opinion.  After all, it’s so much easier to react emotionally and commiserate with others of like minds than to form an independent opinion based on facts.

A cursory look at the most popular blogs and Facebook pages bear this out.

“Let’s all get hysterical!  Let’s spread fear!  We can get thousands of “likes” if we do!”