Category Archives: Social Issues

Pay to Naysay: Fining Consumers for Bad Reviews

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Before I begin today’s post, I want to add a personal note.  Skip it if it doesn’t interest you.

I woke up today feeling crappier than I have in a very long time – oh, I still get the nightly fevers and what-not, but today it was fever and nausea.  So…I just have had enough.  I know I have been telling friends I was going to go out and walk, etc, but I kept putting it off.   Since I seem to be getting worse again, it scared me.

So today I put on my new sweatpants, t-shirt, hoodie (it’s 56 degrees outside today), and old running shoes (yep, long ago I did actually run and do aerobics and all that stuff), and off I went.  I took my cane and a bottle of water, along with Moto.

I walked 10 minutes down to a park I am ashamed to say I have never been to in the 5 years I have lived here.  It’s a lot bigger than I thought – has a dog run, playground, a path by the Juniata River, and a band shell (hmm, that’s where that music comes from every summer…Hollidaysburg is not big on advertising these kinds of events, everyone “just knows”).

I walked for 25 minutes, stopping occasionally to take pics (which I will publish when I get one of those cord thingies that go from Moto to my laptop, or email them to myself maybe).  It has a lot of interesting signs, and even has a replica of part of the lock system they used around here long ago.  Beautiful park.

I didn’t walk fast.  That will come later.  I sat down on a bench for 5 minutes before I set off for the 10 minute walk back home.  I am tired but glad I did it.   I still feel crappy but not any more crappy than I did before, so that’s a good thing.  My first goal is to walk without stopping, for 30 minutes each day.

After that, we’ll see…hey, gotta start somewhere, right?

My lovely daughter sent me an Amazon e-card for Mother’s Day, so I bought a grinder for the flax seed in my fridge, and a personal smoothie maker.   Bought fruits and lots of vegetables, and protein powder and yogurt yesterday at the grocery store, so I am all set for when that stuff arrives.  I figure on substituting at least one meal with a low-cal smoothie.  Then go from there.

Oh, and I got my hair all chopped off a week ago, and there will be a new pic of me on FB and on here at some point.  I hate having my picture taken, so after taking a million selfies I will probably find one that doesn’t make me cringe.  Because….vanity and silly reasons.

***End of personal info***

I was reading email from the PC Magazine website, and ran across an article entitled “U.S. Reps Go After Businesses That Fine for Bad Reviews” (David Murphy, PCMag.com, 5/9/2015).  Since I often write reviews on Yelp and even sometimes on a company’s website, and sometimes they are less than stellar, this caught my attention.

It seems that some businesses are adding clauses to their agreements with consumers – and who ever reads all that fine print? – that state that, if you write a bad review, they can fine you.  So, some members of the House of Representatives are sponsoring something called “The Consumer Review Freedom Act of 2015”, which makes it illegal for companies to do this.

The sponsors are Eric Swalwell, Brad Sherman (both Democrats from California), Darrell Issa (Republican from California, and Blake Farenthold (Republican from Texas).  Yay, bipartisanship!

Not only were businesses fining consumers for bad reviews, if the consumers didn’t pay it the businesses then turned it over to collections, thereby wrecking the consumer’s credit.  Grrr.

The most oft-cited examples of this are a B&B in New York state, and a company called KlearGear in Grandville, MI (or in France, apparently).

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Some Justice, Some Peace

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First up, a couple of corrections, and an update.

The Baltimore Sun, from which I got some of my information regarding Freddie Gray, was wrong on at least 2 counts.

The first one is, the deceased was in possession of a common pocket knife, NOT a switchblade as was initially reported.

Secondly, the deceased did NOT just get out of the hospital with injuries from a car accident.  How they came to this conclusion is even stranger – someone found paperwork about a claim paid to the deceased.  But it wasn’t for a car accident, it was for damages the deceased suffered as a result of lead paint poisoning in his childhood home.

That means that the horrific injuries this man suffered were due to the treatment he received at the hands (fists? feet?) of the Baltimore Police.  In case you don’t recall, he had a crushed larynx and a severed spinal cord (“Could Freddie Gray Have Severed His Own Spine in a Baltimore Police Van? It’s Highly Unlikely”, Dr. David Samadi, New York Daily News, 4/30/2015).

Now the good news: The 6 police officers involved have all been charged.  The most serious charge – “second-degree depraved heart murder” – was leveled against the driver of the van.  He was also charged with voluntary manslaughter (“6 Baltimore Police Officers Charged in Freddie Gray Death”, Alan Blinder & Richard Pérez-Peña, New York Times website, 5/1/2015).

Here is the rundown:

Office Caesar R, Goodson, Jr – Second-degree depraved heart murder, involuntary manslaughter, second-degree assault, gross negligent manslaughter by vehicle, criminal negligent manslaughter, misconduct in office,

Officer William G. Porter – Involuntary manslaughter, second-degree assault, misconduct in office.

Lt. Brian W. Rice – Involuntary manslaughter, 2 counts of second-degree assault, 2 counts of misconduct in office, false imprisonment.

Officer Edward M. Nero – 2 counts second-degree assault, 2 counts of misconduct in office, false imprisonment.

Officer Garrett E. Miller – 2 counts of second-degree assault, 2 counts of misconduct in office, false imprisonment.

Sgt. Alicia D. White – Involuntary manslaughter, second-degree assault, misconduct in office.

(“List of Charges for 6 Officers in Freddie Gray’s Death”, Greg Toppo, USA Today website, 5/1/2015)

3 of the officers are white, and 3 are African-American.  This was a straight-up case of police brutality, an “us against them” siege mentality that many police officers have.

That is not to say that police do not target African-American males.  They do.

But the Baltimore police traditionally have a reputation for violence.

I have seen it first-hand.

I went to a Rolling Stones concert in 1969 at the Baltimore Civic Center.  As I was walking to the restrooms, I saw 2 Baltimore policemen beating the heck out of someone (a long-haired male).

So that was what? 46 years ago?  And nothing’s changed.

Now take what I just told you and extrapolate that to living in a Baltimore low-income neighborhood.   What a nightmare to have to live in.   Add profiling to that, and it’s a wonder anyone would ever leave their house.

For now, the streets of Baltimore are quiet, and the rebuilding will be slow and painful, I’m sure.  It would be a tough position for any business that was looted and/or burned to be in, trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to rebuild.

But I really hope they do.  Especially large corporations such as Rite Aid.  And if they’re smart, they’ll initiate some programs in that community to help the residents, especially the young people.  Even if they have very little compassion, it would make business sense to do so.  And, unfortunately, it’s usually the bottom line that determines what a company does or doesn’t do.

The media – most online newspapers – never seem to want to try to understand why this stuff happens.  They slant things, of course, and leave things out, like the sources who showed pictures of young people holding up the items they stole, and pictures of signs stating “black-owned business” (presumably to protect some business owners from having their shops looted).  Then they leave everyone to read the comments section for the “analysis”.

Racists conclude that it proves African-Americans are violent criminals.  Conventional liberals (by that I mean those who think voting Democrat is the only solution to anything) either ignore what’s being said, or focus on endless statistics regarding which races do what and how often “blah blah blah our side is right!”

Both are wrong.  Neither side will address the issues.

I would suspect some of the reason they don’t is, they’ve never been poor.  Not truly poor.

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The Good, The Bad, and the Strange

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There’s been a lot going on in the US lately, and so I wanted to touch on a few things and update some others. The governor of Indiana (Mike Pence) has signed a revision of the “religious freedom law” I wrote about last week.  According to CBS News…

…the law does not, “Authorize a provider to refuse to offer or provide services, facilities, use of public accommodations, goods, employment, or housing to any member or members of the general public based on race, color, religion, ancestry, age, national origin, disability, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or United States military service.” (“Indiana Governor Signs Updated Religious Freedom Law”, Rebecca Kaplan, CBS News website, 4/2/2015).

But, while it states someone cannot refuse or provide services, it is still legal to fire someone in Indiana because of their sexual orientation if they work in, say, a Catholic school as a teacher. That’s wrong.  Substitute the word for any protected class (women, Latinos, etc) and you can see how wrong it is.

The law needs to be repealed, in my opinion.  And, really, the only reason the governor did this was because businesses were objecting – Apple, Angie’s List, and the NCAA, to name 3.  As usual, money is the key (Ibid).

Regarding Ebola, the cases were diminishing, but have picked up again, unfortunately. It’s not in the news in the US much – if at all – because there are no more stories about people coming back from 3rd world countries infected. According to The Independent (UK newspaper)…

Dr David Nabarro, the UN Secretary-General’s special envoy on Ebola, told The Independent the world should prepare for more major outbreaks of zoonotic diseases – those which can pass from animals to humans – which he said were a “local and global threat to humanity”.

“There will be more: one, because people are moving around more; two, because the contact between humans and the wild is on the increase; and maybe because of climate change. The worry we always have is that there will be a really infectious and beastly bug that comes along.”  (“World Warned: Prepare for More Ebola Outbreaks”, Charlie Cooper, The Independent UK, 4/5/2015).

Deforestation is the reason there is more contact between humans and wild animals.  The thing about climate change isn’t necessarily relevant to Ebola, but it is for mosquito-borne diseases such as malaria and dengue fever.  Climate change has expanded the range of mosquitoes.

So, I am sorry to say, that’s the bad news.

The other bad news, this time closer to home, is the frighteningly increasing numbers of people being shot and killed by police – usually African-American males, and often in the back, and when they aren’t doing a thing to provoke it.

As if provocation is any excuse for a police officer shooting someone – it’s not.  But so many times, the reason the police use for shooting is “wrestling over a gun”, or “going for a weapon”, and a lot of people used to believe that.

The last incident was not a shooting, but a death of someone who was in police custody at the time.  No one is saying how this man got his injuries, and the police are denying they did anything to injure him (though they are supposedly investigating it).

The man, Freddie Gray, was walking down the street when the police made eye contact with him.  He took off running.

Let me stop here.  If the police were, for some extremely weird reason, killing older white women on a frequent basis, I reckon I would run from them, too.  And mind you, this killing of AA males has been going on for a long time, it’s just with smartphones/cameras we are hearing about it more.

They arrested him, and it’s not clear why.  Something about him having a switchblade, which by the way isn’t a crime.  He didn’t resist arrest (by the police’s own admission), and he was limping.  His leg was hurt, and he had just been recently released from the hospital after being treated for three fractured vertebrae and a crushed voicebox (from a car accident).

He was put in a transport van and not seat-belted, and by the time he arrived (half an hour later) at the police station, he wasn’t breathing.  The police admit they did not get medical attention for him when he asked, nor did they call an ambulance. (“The Mysterious Death of Freddie Grey”, David A. Graham, The Atlantic website, 4/22/2015; “A Freddie Grey Primer: Who Was He, How Did He Die, Why is There So Much Anger?”, Peter Hermann and John Woodrow Cox, The Washington Post website, 4/28/2015)

Now he’s dead.  He was 25.

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Legalized Hatred: Pushback Against LGBT Rights

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Although the original purpose of this blog was to have something for my grandson and others to read about 2014 and beyond, it’s morphed into something larger.

There are still health updates, still criticisms of the healthcare system and its built-in corruption based on profit, general news of the times, and commentary on what it’s like to be poor/over 50/disabled on a day-to-day basis…but now I am adding more and more examples of what I see as an increase in rudeness, unkindness, bullying, and extreme intolerance/narrow-mindedness.

It’s not that I started out to be negative or focus on bad attitudes and behavior, it just seems to me that I run into so much more of it these days – helped, of course, by the online world, which seemingly magnifies everything and can bring out the worst in humans at times.

I don’t see a lot of appeals for people to back off, look at their own aggressive behavior, and maybe focus a bit more on what they can do that will make the world a bit better, and not just a world where all their needs and desires are catered to.

Take the recent passing of legislation in certain states that is touted as “religious freedom law”, when in fact what it is, is legislation designed to remove penalties for outright bigotry and discrimination.

Now, if someone wants to hate someone for who they are etc, I really don’t care but when that person tries to legislate hate as legal or immune to legal remedy, that’s where it crosses the line.  It’s no longer a “I believe what I want to believe” issue, but a “I should be allowed to hurt people I don’t like and you can’t legally stop me” issue.

No.  One thing about civilized societies is we do not go around hurting people with impunity just because we think we have a right to do so.  And, no, I am not talking about hurting someone’s feelings (though I do think that has a lasting effect on someone’s psyche), I am talking about denying services or otherwise discriminating against people because of their sexual orientation.

I am picking ‘sexual orientation’ this week because of the laws that have been enacted that basically protect people who want to discriminate against gay people.  Next week it could be something else – there is unfortunately no shortage of hatred in the world today.

One very large and very vocal group that is funding a lot of this anti-gay legislation is called the Alliance Defending Freedom (“How An Extreme Anti-LGBT Legal Powerhouse is Working to Enact ‘Religious Freedom’ Laws”, Rachel Percelay, Media Matters for America website, 4/16/2015).  Their justifications for what they do are those tired old tropes about “a gay agenda” and “pushing their lifestyle on everyone else” – that being gay somehow infringes on their right-wing Christian ‘rights’.  They use the tactic of redefining oppression to turn it on its head and have it mean that equal rights = oppression.

You know, those “religious rights” that I guess are special to that group because…..reasons and Jesus and pushy gays.  And teaching children to be gay and blah blah blah fear-mongering garbage on Fox News.

Again, it’s another example of fringe Christians believing that they are being persecuted when some group they don’t like is afforded the same civil rights as all Americans.  Yes, it does not make much sense.  These “patriots” are so freedom-loving but only in regards to a very narrow sector of the American population.

No one told them that this is not how America is supposed to work.

Specifically, there was a law passed recently in Indiana that essentially allows businesses or individuals (like landlords, for example) to deny service to people if by serving ‘those people’ it goes against their religious beliefs.  And that this supercedes silly little things like federal civil rights laws.

According to an article by Mike Hiltzik in the LA Times

Indiana’s law applies to wholly private disputes in which the government is not a party. That places the burden of fighting discrimination on its victims. The result will be “private actors, such as employers, landlords, small-business owners, or corporations, taking the law into their own hands and acting in ways that violate generally applicable laws on the grounds that they have a religious justification for doing so,”a group of 30 law professors from across the country warned Indiana legislators while SB 101 was being debated. (“Indiana’s Anti-LGBT Law is Even Worse Than it Seems”, Mike Hiltzik, Los Angeles Times website, 3/31/15).

So, if you are discriminated against by, well, anyone, your recourse is to hire an attorney.  You can’t ask the Justice Dept to help you, even though what happened was a civil rights violation.

I am old enough to recall when this actually was the only recourse someone had if, say, they were fired for being female.  Which happened to me in Minnesota, in 1975, when Sears fired me because they said “their male workers felt intimidated because they can’t put up their girly calendars and they have to watch their language because they are working with a woman.”

I filed a complaint with the state.  They didn’t do anything with it.  There was no federal recourse.  And, since I was poor, I couldn’t afford an attorney.

Years later a group of women won a class-action suit in Minnesota against Sears for the same thing – whoopee, I was right.  Didn’t help me, though, did it?  Story of my life, unfortunately.

So I can tell you from personal experience, what the Indiana law does is it effectively legalizes discrimination.  And it tries to do it by claiming it’s an undue burden for Christians to serve LGBT people.  Because, apparently selling pizzas to gay people causes a moral dilemma for Christians and makes them violate their religious beliefs.

“That’s a lifestyle that you choose,” Kevin O’Connor told WBND. “I choose to be heterosexual. They choose to be homosexual. Why should I be beat over the head because they choose that lifestyle?” (“Indiana Pizzeria Vows to Never Deliver a Pizza to a Gay Wedding”, Catherine Thompson, TPM Livewire website, 4/1/15)

Selling pizza is being “beat over the head”.  Oh, but he did then add that he wouldn’t refuse to serve a gay couple in his restaurant, he just wouldn’t deliver pizzas to their wedding.  Because catering a gay wedding compromises his principles.  He couldn’t answer when asked if he would cater a wedding for people who had been divorced….oh and he’s divorced, by the way…you know, that whole “if you remarry after divorcing it’s still adultery” thing in the Bible.  He said he would have to think about that.

So this is the kind of thing you would have no legal remedy for.  Of course, what happened to this guy’s business is he was (and still is) boycotted by a lot of people, and on the other side the bigots raised over $800k for the poor dear.  He reopened his business and is getting kudos from bigoted Christians everywhere.

But here’s something to consider – and something I mentioned to a van driver who was listening to Rush Limbaugh bitching about “Christian rights” who told me that “those gays are trying to shove their lifestyle down our throats, and we have a right not to serve them – it’s our business, America supports free enterprise blah blah blah”…

What if the “Christian” was a part of the Christian Identity Movement?  They’re a part of the white supremist movement.  They use the Bible to spread their hate about Jews and African-Americans and just about anyone else who isn’t “white” (“Christian Identity”, ADL website, no date).  So, in Indiana, they can bar anyone from their business and then claim “Christian rights”.  They could put signs in their windows stating they will not serve Jews or African-Americans or Latinos or LGBT people or anyone without a cone for a head.

I asked the van driver, “Would that be ok with you?”

His answer: “But I saw a video on YouTube where a guy went into Muslim bakeries and asked them to bake a cake for a gay wedding.  And no one did anything to those businesses!!!!”

Typical.  Caught out in his prejudiced, hateful attitudes, he deflects to something he thinks everyone in America agrees on – hatred of Muslims.  And he continued to yell so that I could not get in a word edge-wise.  Basically he shouted me down and I had to decide if this was a battle worth fighting – and since he and I were the only ones on the van and it wasn’t a ‘teaching moment’ for me, I backed off and shut up.  After telling him I didn’t hate Muslims like he does.

But you see how this is going to go unless people speak up and get the Indiana law revoked – it just opens the door for rampant discrimination, divisiveness, and hate.  Not just against the LGBT community, but against the whole rest of us, too.

Well, those of us who aren’t closeminded fake Christians.

“Preservation of one’s own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures.” (Cesar Chavez, United Farm Workers website, no date)

Today’s weirdness comes from a couple of different places…

http://www.rainymood.com/    This is a site that features nice mellow music and rain/thunderstorm sounds.  For those of us who don’t have those cool sound generator things.  Not really weird, but I wanted to show you something nice, to counteract the icky people described in my blog post.

From SkyNews, a story about a dog who flagged an RSPCA officer down so he could be rescued and returned to his owners:

“Stolen Yorkshire Terrier Flags Down RSPCA Van”

Recommendations for this week?  “Deadbeat”, season 2 is now on Hulu.  It’s a funny show about a stoner who is bothered by ghosts who want him to help them.  Really, it’s funny!

Be good.  Be kind.   Life’s too short to be self-centered and mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Just Getting Worse

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I was going to write about the horrible “religious freedom” (anti-gay) laws being passed in Indiana and Oklahoma, and being proposed in Georgia, because I think it’s bigoted and unfair.

However, I am now way too upset to do that.

Every 6 months or so, I am required to recertify for the SNAP program (food stamps).  After receiving my new card in the mail, courtesy of the efforts of my new caseworker (so I wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of my card not working properly)….

Now I no longer have food stamps.

When I got my recertification in the mail in February, I called my caseworker and asked what info he needed me to send in.  He looked stuff over and told me I didn’t need to send anything but the signature sheets.  I asked if he was going to do the phone interview that they sometimes do, and he stated that no, he didn’t need to do that but would call if anything changed.

I then told him I didn’t see the return envelope in the packet.  He said he would send one.

When I went to get the mail the next day, I noticed the return envelope had fallen on the stairs.  So, happily I put my signature sheets in and put it out for collection.  As it was gone the next day I just assumed the post office had delivered it.

Food stamp day came and went – it was April 10.  I bought my groceries as usual.

I didn’t give any thought to the return envelope my caseworker said he would send that I didn’t receive…until yesterday.

Yesterday I got a return envelope in the mail, POSTMARKED IN FEBRUARY, from the Dept of Welfare.

“Oh well,” I thought, “no big deal, as I already sent the info in.”

Today I got a letter from the Dept. of Welfare dated APRIL 7, telling me that as of April 1 I was no longer eligible for food stamps.  And that I can appeal if I want.

The reason?  “You failed to provide the information we asked for.”

I went online to check my status.  My SNAP balance is $12 and my account is active.

It is too late in the day to call my caseworker.  I will try calling him tomorrow morning.

I don’t understand this, but I am upset.  I cannot afford to feed myself and pay my bills too, without food stamps.  And I had just gotten to the point where my budget covers my monthly expenses – just barely, but it does.  I don’t owe anything to anyone at this point.

I have been fairly ill for the past 2 weeks, with the fever having returned, along with the other symptoms.  I feel like shit and I am in no shape to fight the Dept of Welfare over this, but I have to.

I am really hoping it’s all some kind of clerical mistake.  If I could use my EBT card on April 10, how could it be that I lost my benefits as of April 1?

I really like my caseworker and I hope he can explain this to me.  And why was my return envelope, which was sent in February, just turning up in April??

I mean, I didn’t need it, as I had found the original one and mailed it back in February, but it makes me wonder.  Hmm.  The address was correct, so I know it wasn’t misdelivered.

It didn’t have any markings on it, except the bar codes that run along the bottom of the envelope my caseworker sent it in were blacked out.  Hmm.

I am the least paranoid person on the planet, I truly am.  But even I have to scratch my head and wonder what is going on here.

This incident comes on the heels of my interaction with the pain clinic personnel last week, which was not pleasant.

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Microaggression: WWJD?

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“WWJD”, for those who are unfamiliar with this, is short for “What Would Jesus Do”.  It’s something that some Christians claim they think about when facing a moral dilemma.

The problem with that is, well…a couple of different reasons.

One is, they don’t actually know “wwJd”, because they haven’t read the Bible.  The Bible that has about a gazillion different translations, yes, but usually has the basics regarding parts of Jesus’ life, his parables, and other stuff like Paul’s letters etc.

You may or may not be surprised that many Christians haven’t read it, they “just know from what my pastor tells me” (that’s something I have heard a lot).

Quick aside: I was sitting with workmates at lunch (at my last job), and one of them was getting married to a preacher’s son in a couple of months.  And taking some kind of Bible study class that her future father-in-law was teaching….

Girl: He wants us to pick our favorite story from the New Testament!  (Looks around anxiously)

Me: Hey, how about the one where Jesus is on the boat, and it’s all stormy and stuff, and the disciples are freaking out and then He calms the storm…always liked that one.  He was grumpy because He had been taking a nap.

(Blank looks from everyone in the break room)

Girl: I don’t know that one.  I don’t know any stories.  Just the Christmas one, and he said that didn’t count.

Crickets chirp.

Me: (Because I am nasty this way) You mean that, at a table full of Christians, the only person who knows a story from the Bible is a pagan??

This is typical, I find.  So, Christians, put up or shut up.  If you don’t know your basic tenets of your religion, and you certainly do not know the basic tenets of mine, keep your trap closed.

The other problem with “wwJd” is that some Christians pick and choose, according to their prejudices.

If, for example, they feel hostile towards a group for whatever reason, they trot out the “Jesus and the money-changers” story, to illustrate that, yes, Jesus did have a temper.  Doesn’t matter to them that their example is completely out of context.

If so many are not familiar with the Bible, who’s going to know, right?

A final example is the quote, “No one comes to the Father but through me.”  This is interpreted by many Christians as, “If you don’t believe in Jesus, you’re going to hell.”

But wait!  Let’s see what Pope Francis says about this.  I chose him because, even though evangelicals think he’s the anti-Christ or something, no one can say he hasn’t read the Bible.  I think we can all agree that he’s pretty much studied it his whole life.

I was raised Episcopalian, not Catholic, so I am also trying to be fair here.

Pope Francis stated in 2013:

“The Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does good and all of us have this commandment at heart, do good and do not do evil. All of us. ‘But, Father, this is not Catholic! He cannot do good.’ Yes, he can… “The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ, all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!” We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.” (“Pope Francis Says that Atheists Can Do Good and Go to Heaven Too!” Catholic Online, 5/20/2013)

Which brings us to today’s post.

You know, a regular theme of mine is the microaggressions people who live in poverty face, that make everything in life that much harder in the day-to-day struggle.  Microaggression is basically having someone treat you as ‘less-than’, by being dismissive or insulting.  It’s usually not stated outright.  But it is done with the intent to hurt, and it’s usually received that way, too.

What it is not, is “freedom of speech”, or “freedom of religion”.  That is never the intent, it is only the excuse that cowards use when they don’t want to own up to being assholes.

Here is my latest example of religious microaggression.

I ride something called the Senior Services van.  It takes people to the store, doctor’s appointments, or basically anywhere you need/want to go, if you are disabled and/or 65 years of age or older.   I am disabled, so I use it.  I do not have a car (because I cannot afford a car, not because I “lost my license” – that is another microaggression for another post).

It is paid for by lottery money, state grants, and the people who use the service.

I was picked up on Monday from Walgreen’s by the van, driven by a driver I didn’t know.  He seemed friendly enough – at first.  But we hadn’t gone even a mile when he asked me if I was “ready for Easter.”

Ok, so what?  I said, “Well I think I will be traveling to see my grandson, so I am getting ready for my trip.”

“What?  You’re doing what??” he asked.

Now I am getting a bit weirded out, because his tone isn’t “I am hard of hearing and cannot hear you”, but “I am flabbergasted by what you just said.”

And I am thinking, “What is wrong with him?  Maybe he’s just having a bad day.”

He chatted about how he has 6 kids and a million grandkids or something.  I wasn’t really listening all that hard because I didn’t like his tone and his manner was rather pushy.

Then we got to my street.

He asked, “Where do you go to church?” All of a sudden, out of the blue.

“I don’t go to church,” I replied.

“Why not???” he asked (again, with the “I am flabbergasted” tone of voice).

And this is where I should have said, “None of your business.”

But to be honest, he caught me off-guard.  I am not used to being asked things like this, not since I left Memphis (which is full of obnoxious Christians).  To people in Memphis, I would just tell them, in a spooky voice, that I was a witch.  That stopped them and scared them into not talking to me.

“I am not a Christian,” I said.

“You don’t have to be a Christian to go to church, but you do have to be a Christian to go to heaven.  Did you know that, Victoria?” he asked, in a patronizing manner.

Now my mouth has fallen open.  I am shocked.  I am speechless.

And I am furious.

We had arrived at my house, so I just got off the van and went inside, remembering to observe what van number he drove.

I went inside and called the van company.  I spoke to a woman who usually takes reservations, one who has been friendly and nice.

Not today.

“Hi, (name of person I won’t mention because I am nice), I’m glad you answered.  I want to file a complaint about a driver,” I stated.

“Ok, let me get a pen and paper,” she said.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Go ahead,” she replied.

“The driver asked me what church I go to,” I began…

“I’m not going to tell you!” she exclaimed.

Silence.  I am puzzled by her response.  Then it dawned on me.

I asked her, “Did you think I was asking you what church you go to???”

“Well, yeah,” she answered, in a somewhat huffy voice.

You see Christians, the pushy kind, always seem to think they are under attack for some reason.  I think it’s because they are no longer allowed to push their beliefs on everyone else, and that pisses them off.  So they interpret things in that light.

Surprised, I stated emphatically, “I wouldn’t ask you that!!” Then I added, “The driver of the van asked me that!”

I related the rest of the brief encounter.  She never said a word.  After a prolonged period of silence, I asked if she was still on the line.

“I’m still writing!” she snapped.

Then she asked if I wanted someone to call me back about it.  I told her I trusted her to pass the info along.

After I got off the phone, I started to wonder, would she really pass the info on?  She seemed offended that I had even reported it.

So I called back, got another person, and gave her my name and number for a call-back.

Not 5 minutes later, Pit Bull is rapping “Oye”.  My default ringtone heh.  Man, I never get tired of hearing it!  But anyway…

Supervisor identified himself, asked how he could help me, and I related the incident.  And realized that the first woman who took my report did not turn it in, because he asked for info that I had given her, like the van number and so on.

I didn’t ask him whether or not he got my first message.  No need to get more than one person in trouble that day.  But, wow.

His reaction was to apologize, and to say he would take care of it right away.  I got the feeling he didn’t like the driver saying those things to me.  And that perhaps he was familiar with this guy doing this to other clients.

So, I hope he fired him.

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Empathy, Shlempathy: Who Cares?

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I have to admit I am becoming increasingly bewildered by the online world.

You have Facebook, which can be a funny, nice online thing to read….until you get the “poor thing” spammy posts, that go something like: “My friend’s sister’s cousin’s best friend sent me this picture of this POOR CHILD! It’s so sad, he/she is dying/scarred for life/missing/chronically ill.  Like this page and pass it on!!”

Sometimes there is a link to a crowd funding site, so you can send money too.

Sometimes it isn’t a child, it’s an adult.  I saw one post on FB where a woman was asking for money – preferably in person from a celebrity – so she could buy a large-screen tv.  She is on disability, you see, and never has money for stuff like that.

You can imagine what I said to her.

Regarding the children ones, I used to look them up on Snopes but it got so that there were so many of them that I didn’t want to bother anymore.  Why should I be the one to look up a hoax?  They all have internet access, too, and if they are too gullible to just believe everything anybody says, well….not my problem.

The children postings, if you look at the source, quite often come from FB pages where there are nothing but these stories.  Usually it is a middle-aged or older woman, who seems to collect them and pass them on.  No vetting, no nothing.  Just hysterical, “brought tears to my eyes” posts.

I can’t call what these people feel “empathy”.  It’s more like they are just easily manipulated and get their “crying buttons” pushed.  Like when you watch a movie.  No one would say they felt “empathy” for the couple in “Titanic”, for example.  It’s not the right term for it.

I think the more exposure this kind of post gets, the more it serves to shut people down entirely.  I mean, you can’t help everyone, right?  And when you think about it, “liking” a post on FB does NOTHING.  It doesn’t help the person who is supposedly in trouble/sick/dying/whatever.  So, what’s the point?

The point is to show everyone how empathetic you are, without actually having to be empathetic, or to act on that feeling and really help someone.

It’s easy, and it’s lazy.  And fake as all get-out.   And, even when you point out that it’s a hoax, some people just dig in more and insist it’s not.  Because damn, then they would look gullible and stupid, instead of caring and on moral high ground.

It’s part of the fakery that is the online world.  I am puzzled by it all.

It also is dismissive of real-world problems, and what people can do to change them.

It’s easy to “like” a page on FB.  But it’s hard to:

~ Visit an elderly shut-in

~ Visit a sick/dying person in the hospital

~ Offer to run errands for people in crisis

~ Go out with volunteer search teams to help find a missing child

~ Volunteer anywhere, to do anything…

These actions really do help.  But they also make people aware of others, and other peoples’ pain, and so elicit the kind of real empathy that seems somewhat lacking in today’s world.

When you think about someone, someone you have talked to, and the kinds of things they are going through, and how it affects them, and suddenly you feel sad or angry…

That’s empathy.

When you are moved to do something – anything – that can ease someone’s burden or pain, because you will ache inside until you do….

That’s empathy.

If even one post I have ever written here moves you to action, to help someone else…

That feeling of being moved, that’s empathy.

This other stuff on the internet?  Not so much.

Oh I won’t bitch about people sending money on crowd funding sites, if it really helps someone.  That, too, can be the result of empathy.  Some people have neither the time nor the ability to get out there and physically do something, and that’s ok by me.

I am disabled, with no transportation, and would only be able to volunteer if someone could give me a ride.  That would be empathy, too…a “2-for-1 deal” where you would not only be helping me, you would be helping me help someone else.

Ha, I did try to volunteer at 3 places around here – at the library, at a ‘feed-the-homeless’ thing sponsored by a church, and at the women’s shelter that helped me 5 years ago when I showed up on their doorstep.

The minute I asked about car-pooling (hey, I’m not cheap, I will pay for gas), didn’t hear a word back, ever.

That’s definitely not empathy.

I’m not sure what that was, actually, but it saddened me.

If I ever win the lottery, I will start a non-profit that includes transportation for people who want to volunteer.

My dream, of course, is to start a women’s shelter that is run in a logical manner (as in, it actually helps women and their children and pets), has a way to make it easy for people to volunteer (like a van), and has a small side-business for the women to work in until they find work elsewhere (if they want to).

I say “win the lottery” because at this point, as poor as I am, I can’t see how that’s ever going to happen.

Heck if I could get a job that paid well, I would use my own money to start a shelter.

But right now, as it stands, all I can do is write.  Write about the issues that the poor, the disabled, the disenfranchised, the survivors of domestic abuse have.

And try to evoke empathy.

I don’t have any book recommendations this week.  Originally, I was going to recommend Dee Brown’s “The Gentle Tamers: Women of the Old WIld West”, because I had skipped around and read some of the later chapters and, while I found the content somewhat patronizing, it wasn’t until I went back and read the book from the beginning that I realized I cannot recommend it.

Yes, the book was written in 1958.  Yes, it relies heavily on the ‘biographies’ of the (mostly eastern U.S. and wealthy) white women who wrote somewhat sensationalist serialized books for profit.

But I expected more from Dee Brown.

The book relies heavily on stereotypes and horror stories about tribal men kidnapping pioneer women whose only ‘crime’, it would seem, was their traipsing across tribal lands.

But, in fact, many of these women were missionaries (out to ‘civilize’ native people by opening up schools on native land and re-naming native children – and adults – with English names); wives of military men who established forts on native lands and then proceeded to kill the natives with guns and diseases; and wealthy women traveling with their husbands to seek their fortunes in California during the gold rush.

In other words, they tried to destroy the indigenous people using disease, cultural obliteration, and just flat-out murdering them.

All of them believers in “manifest destiny”.

All of them convinced that native men were ignorant, ‘uncivilized’, sneaky, bloodthirsty rapists – and their accounts reflected that.

Honestly, I couldn’t get through most of it without being angry.

I don’t know what Dee Brown’s story was, in between this book and “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee”.  He must have had an epiphany of sorts.

There is no context for the “Taming” book, and there needed to be.  So I cannot recommend it.

For weird news….this falls under the “what a weird thing to think” category:

At the February meeting of the U.N. Disarmament Conference in Geneva, a representative from Belarus made this comment about the debate regarding whether or not the meeting should be public…

“What if there were topless ladies screaming from the public gallery, throwing bottles of mayonnaise?” (“Belarus Diplomat Worries Topless, Mayo-Throwing Women Could Disrupt U.N.”, Reuters website, 2/11/15)

And the response is weird, too…the president of the conference replied that “members of the public were already entitled to attend plenary meetings of the conference and sit in the public gallery, and so in theory could already drop mayonnaise onto delegates.” (Ibid)

Then there is…Shane “But I Was Hungry” Lindsey was arrested in New Kensington, PA, when he stopped for some chicken and biscuits right after robbing a bank down the street.  Well, though, in his defense, you really can’t get a decent chicken and biscuit meal anywhere up north here, so when you find one, it’s just too irresistable. (“Police: Suspect Stopped for Chicken-and-Biscuits After New Kensington Bank Robbery”, CBS Pittsburgh website, 1/15/15)

Dammit, now I’m hungry.  Gotta go make biscuits.

Be good.  Be kind.  Eat biscuits, southern-style.

Like Raindrops on Cobblestones

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I used to live in the Republic of Ireland, in Dublin.

Nearly every day that I lived there, I would stop and deliberately commit something to memory, because I knew that at some point, I would have to go back to the US.  And I didn’t have a camera.

Even if I had had one, I don’t think I would have been able to capture what it was I was seeing and feeling.  Certainly there is no camera that can reproduce the scent of burning peat on a winter’s morning (in Dublin), and contrast that with the scent of burning coal on a winter’s morning (in Belfast).

At any rate, some of the things I loved were the cobblestones in Dublin.  And the rain, which, after years and years, made the cobblestones worn with an indescribable patina.  Slowly, drip by drip, the rain changed the face of cobblestones without erasing their very nature.

And so it is with people, I think.  Experiences that, over time, change our faces – not just our physical ones – but hopefully not our natures.

From Ireland back to Memphis, and then to Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania…where I live now.  Where I came to find a better life (healthcare), and ended up in a nightmare from which I finally escaped.  I have been healing, and trying to decide where to go next.

When I have the funds to do so (or win the PA Lottery heh).

This doesn’t feel like home to me.

And I had an experience last week that I would not wish on anyone.   It was in the grocery store.  It put me in mind of raindrops, but not because of the weather.

I use foodstamps, in the form of an EBT card.  That morning, I had checked my EBT balance to make sure I had enough for food – having bought the bulk of my food that previous Saturday – and then paid $6 to go to the grocery store.  $6, to someone who is on disability, is a lot of money.  In my case, it was my last $6 until the next check.

But I needed meds, and milk, so I went.

I carefully counted up the items in my cart, in order to make sure I didn’t go over and have my card declined.  You know, I am that person who tries to stay out of your way while I am parked to the side of an aisle, staring at my cart and counting in my head.

That person to whom you say “excuse me!” in a rather loud voice, to make me move, even if you can get around me anyway.   Because I just happen to be standing directly in front of that exact item that you need right now dammit.

Heaven forbid you do what I usually do, which is either wait, or get something else and come back to the item I need.

Drip, drip.

I am that person in the check-out line who buys organic food, you know the kind of food you claim you cannot afford.  To whom you say nothing, but loudly comment to the person you’re with that you wish you could afford organic food but your paycheck won’t cover it (with extra emphasis on the word “paycheck”).

Drip, drip.

And last week, I was that person whose EBT card was declined.  With 5 people in line behind me.

That is one of my big fears – having my EBT declined.  It is one of the most embarrassing things a poor person can have happen to him/her at the grocery store.

So, in addition to the ‘normal’ indignities that come with being a foodstamp shopper in the grocery store (in the suburbs), I had the additional horror of a declined EBT card.

My EBT card has not swiped in years.  Meaning that cashiers have to key in the numbers.  My speech is always the same to them, “I’m sorry but my card won’t swipe and you have to key it in, and they won’t send me a new card, I’m sorry.”  (My previous caseworker had told me that, no, I can’t have a new card because mine won’t swipe.)

So the cashier, who I think was new, keyed it in.  A screen I had never seen before popped up, and I won’t go into detail but I am sure it’s not the right one, so I mentioned that to the cashier, who just looked at me blankly and said, “Put your PIN number in.”

I did.  And it got declined.

“But this can’t be,” I protested to the cashier, “as I just checked my balance and it is $33.56!”

Cashier hands me a receipt that says “0”.  It has the last 4 digits of my EBT card number, but not the whole thing, so I have no idea what he keyed in.

I asked him to try it again.

“Your balance is 0,” he said.  “You don’t have any left on your card.”

I showed him the store receipt from the last time I was in the store, a few days earlier, that said $33.56.

“You must have spent that between then and now,” he said.

He wouldn’t try it again, he just kept repeating that my balance was 0.  And then called a supervisor to void the transaction.  By now, my face was bright red.  Could it be I was mistaken?

(You may recall that I did check the balance right before I went to the store.  This story just shows that, when treated like a less-than-human, you begin to doubt yourself.)

I went to the front of the store, sat down on a chair, and called the EBT hotline.

“Your foodstamp balance is $33.56.”

Now I was angry.  Clearly the cashier had not keyed it in correctly, or had pushed the wrong button, or something.  So I went to the customer service desk and tried to explain.

I say “tried”, because they just. wouldn’t. listen.

The front end manager took my card, stared at it, then did something with the keypad on her phone.  It wasn’t to key in the number, because she wasn’t looking at it while she messed with whatever it was she was doing.

“Your balance is 0,” she stated, looking at the 2 receipts I showed her (one from that day that said 0, and the one from the previous trip that said $33.56).

“But I just now called them, ” I replied, “and the recording said my balance is $33.56. Either your cashier keyed in it wrong, or something’s wrong with your system.”

“There’s nothing wrong with our system,” she shot back, rather disdainfully.  She continued, “Our system goes directly to the Dept of Welfare,” she explained.

“No, I’m quite sure it doesn’t,” I replied, getting irate now. “Your store probably has a system that connects to something, but it doesn’t go directly to the EBT place.  I just called them.  Want me to call them again so you can listen?”

“Your balance is 0,” she said.  I guess she thought if she kept repeating it, it would somehow be true.  Or she thought I was lying.  Or both.

“So you’re telling me that, somehow, between the time I just called them, to just now, you guys lost $33.56 of EBT credit?” I asked, trying to get them to see how stupid they were being.

“We didn’t take your foodstamps,” another woman who works there, who suddenly appeared to butt in, told me.

I knew it was hopeless so I just told them that I was an uppity foodstamp recipient and would be complaining to their corportate headquarters.  I left, red-faced and very upset.  And out $6 that I couldn’t afford to just throw away like that…or, rather, that I couldn’t afford to pay for the priviledge of being treated like dirt.

Drip, drip, drip….

I got home, called around and found out that, no, their store doesn’t connect directly to the EBT place, they contract that out to some other company.  And that, yes, EBT cards do often get declined if the cashier keys it in wrong.  And, I was surprised and angry to find out, it’s very easy for a caseworker to order a new EBT card for someone if that card won’t swipe.

Which my (new) caseworker did.  So now I can’t buy any food until 10 days from now or so when I get my new card, but at least I won’t have to put up with idiot cashiers who treat EBT customers like they’re the stupid ones.

I sent a long, irate email to the corporate offices of Martin’s Foods, and got a call from the manager of that store the next day.  He asked again what happened (sigh), and then apologised.

“We were wrong,” he said.  He asked for descriptions of the employees, and I am sure they will get written up or at least get yelled at – I used to work in a grocery store, and I know how the managers are.  He asked me to come in again and ask for him personally, so he could apologise in person.

I don’t know if I am going to do that.  I have not felt that rotten in a very long time.  I felt embarrassed, and ashamed, and I wasn’t even in the wrong.  I don’t think I can handle entering that store again.

And, like the rain on cobblestones, the drip drip drip of those little humiliations, those attitudes that treat you as “less than”, they can wear on you.  Day after day, year after year, they can change the face you show to the world, or even to yourself.  They leave a patina that isn’t attractive – it’s a tarnished patina, worn down to the point where the substance of who you are is barely visible at times.

I am not writing this looking for pity.  I write this to remind people that it’s often those little things, those snide remarks, those allusions to “those people on foodstamps”, those sly and dirty looks that you think we can’t see, those assumptions that people on foodstamps will do anything to “get over”, the complete and utter lack of understanding and empathy…these things take a toll.

They take a toll on us, in the form of stress and all its consequences.

They take a toll on you, by hardening your heart, thereby making you the one who is “less than.”

Be kind.  Please, please, be kind.   And may you never, ever be in the situation I find myself in today.   Because even if you have an advanced degree, a good job, and a decent life, something can happen to change all that in the blink of an eye.   Like it did to me.

Tragic circumstances happen to everyone, if they live long enough.  So treat other people as if they were you, or related to you, and cut them a break.  I know this sounds corny but…

Be the sunshine, not the raindrop.

 

 

 

 

Ellos están aquí.* Get Used To It.

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* “They’re here”.

I left another forum yesterday.   I seem to do that, a lot.  I find a forum with which I can distract myself, usually without controversy, and I end up leaving…due to controversy.

I don’t like doing it.  I marvel (and kind of envy) people who can just join a forum (or anything, for that matter), make friends, and have this nice hobby, perhaps for years.  They make new friends and enlarge their social circles.

I can never do this.  I have been kicked out of every organization I have ever joined, in real life, and/or fired from nearly every job I have ever had, and I have to say I am not particularly proud of that.  And not even for what I would consider “normal” reasons, such as substance abuse issues, breaking the law, arguing with people, and so on.  No, it’s never that.  It’s just because I am me, and I am different, and I can’t be any other way.  And I can’t keep my mouth shut.

But I quit this forum before I got thrown off (I can honestly say, I have never been banned or kicked off a forum, probably because I quit before that happens).  And it was because something got to me and irked me until I felt the need to write something.

So I did.  And then I left.

It was a forum about a TV show (ok, yes, it was General Hospital).  I liked the forum because it has, for the most part, intelligent commentators who snark about the show and its writers.  I found I agreed with what people wrote, most of the time.  If I didn’t, it was still ok, because it wasn’t anything but differences over creative content.  Big deal.

But every once in awhile, someone would comment about an actress named Teresa Castillo, and occasionally about her male counterpart in the show (Carlos, played by Jeffrey Vincent Parise).  The comment would be short, and it would be this:  “Carrrrrrrlos!  Sabrrrrrrina!”

Those are the names of the characters.  And those two names, repeated often, sometimes with the warning “if they say that ONE MORE TIME…”, confused me at first.  Sometimes it didn’t even have a comment with it, just the names with the multiple r’s.

It finally occurred to me that these posters were angry at this actor and actress because of their accents.  When either one of them says the other’s name, it is with a light accent, as one would expect someone to say it in their cultural context.  Trill?  Well, yeah, there is a slight trill, but that’s how you pronounce the names.  And that’s what these two do.  They say, “Carlos”, and “Sabrina” as they are supposed to be pronounced.

But I was still at a loss as to why this text, meant to symbolize “exaggerated trilling”, was being written. It’s not as if the actor and actress were drawing out the r in an exaggerated way (think stereotypes) for some strange reason.  It wasn’t the trilling, per se, that people found annoying, it was clearly the accent.  Why would an accent make people angry?  I know, I am naíve.

Then came the violent comments about what people wanted to do to the characters/actors when they said those two names (or any words that might have had accents to them, as the actor sometimes calls the actress terms of endearment in Spanish on the show, as per his character, who is from Puerto Rico).  They wanted to punch them, or kill them, or get them thrown off the show.

I was getting whiffs of racism now.

Now I know some of this is hyperbole.  But then they started in with the personal attacks, calling the actress a “Disney princess who can’t act” – referring to Ms. Castillo being cast as Princess Jasmine in a stage version of Aladdin when she worked at Disneyland (“General Hospital’s Teresa Castillo is Pregnant – Boy or Girl?”, Soap Opera Digest website, 12/31/2014), many years ago, a fact that ‘Teresa-bashers’ won’t let go of.

But I don’t see that as a bad thing.  Apparently some do, or are jealous.  The woman is stunningly beautiful.

Then they started in on how she can’t act.  On a soap opera, of all places, where Daytime Emmy winners routinely chew the scenery at an annoying frequency.  This actress doesn’t do that.  She makes do with crappy dialog and stupid storylines, neither of which is her fault.  Yet she gets dumped on, on a regular basis, by some of this crowd on the forum.

As for her male counterpart (“Carlos”), I have seen some posts about him needing a shower.  This is when it began to dawn on my pea-brain that these people were, in fact, being racist.

Mr. Parise has a dark look to him that I, for one, think is very attractive, and his hair is thick and wavy.  But because these idiots perceive him as Latino, he is also perceived as dirty and needing a shower.  (It sickens me to even write this, I must admit)

Side note #1: There is no information on the internet on Parise’s cultural heritage, Latino or not.  He was born in Indianapolis, and that’s all I could find out.  But it’s the perception that he is Latino (Puerto Rican, I guess) that’s important here.

There are African-Americans on this show, but you would never see anyone writing that “they need showers”.  That would be seen for what it was, and called out, as it should be.

These people were being picked on simply because they are, or are perceived as, Latino.  Ironically, I am sure many of these creeps would be shocked to know that there are other Latinos on this show, one of whom is playing an Italian, for instance.  But hey, those other Latino actors do not play Latino characters on the show, so therefore they are, in these fools’ minds, not Latino.  Or maybe it’s ok to be Latino as long as you don’t show it.  Sheesh, such bigotry!

The defining post, for me, came soon after I had realized what these people were saying, during which time I was formulating a response that would make a point without enraging everyone so that the charge of racism would be lost in a sea of personal attacks in response to whatever I would say.  It was a guy complaining about, again, how this actress couldn’t act, and then he ended it with: “If she trills the r in ‘Tracy’, I am going to punch a wall.  Carrrrrrlos!”

How ignorant can you be?  For one thing, anyone who knows any Spanish at all, or even who has listened to any Spanish-speaking people, would know that the r in that name (“Tracy”) would never be “trilled”.  He just said it because he doesn’t like the actress, because she is Latina.  And making fun of the way she speaks is a hidden way to express his contempt for Latino people.

That was the straw that did it.  “Carrrrrlos!  Sabrrrrina!” was short-hand for, “I dislike Latinos so I am going to make fun of how they dare to speak in a way that identifies them as such.”

That is, it would be if the people writing it were that well-spoken, but they’re not.  I am not going to spell out the hateful way they would explain their behavior, because, sadly, everyone who reads this knows what I mean.

So I wrote that I hoped the two characters would actually speak in Spanish at times, when they didn’t want the other characters to know what they were saying (trust me, it fits their storylines).  Then I stated that perhaps if a storyline was done that addressed the racism against Latinos then maybe, just maybe, people wouldn’t make hateful, veiled racist comments about how Teresa Castillo (“Sabrina”) speaks.

Then I left and never went back to see the backlash, if there was any.  Since one of the most offensive posters is a moderator, I would be surprised if I even still had my account.

Maybe it will make people think.  I hope so.  I could have stayed and argued endlessly in some stupid ‘forum war’, but that would have diluted the message I was trying to get across. It isn’t about me, it’s about their ignorant, hateful attitudes.

Now I have to find another place to lighten my mood.  Maybe I will just stay with watching kitty videos or something, thereby completely avoiding any site that could possibly upset me.

Is there no place on the internet where sane, intelligent people can just have fun while expressing themselves?  Or have all the sites been hijacked by hateful, stupid, bitter people?

I read an opinion piece on the CNN website called “My Encounter with Anti-Latino Racism” (Nick Valencia, CNN website, 11/3/2011).  In it, the author describes being yelled at and taunted by a white woman** while he was waiting to get into a music festival in Atlanta with some friends of his from Mexico. The woman makes it very clear that she doesn’t like Latinos.

**In this context, I will refer to white people of European descent as just “white”, for simplicity sake.  I can’t think of how else to phrase it but, if you know, please tell me.

Side note #2: It’s an all-too-common attitude, this woman’s, and I ought to know because other white people make the mistake of talking shit like that around me just because I look similar to them, so they think I share their bigoted views.  “We need to keep those people out!  Blah blah racist vile words blah blah idiotic right-wing claptrap blah blah.” 

I usually wait until they run out of steam, and then say something to them in Spanish.  And then lecture them in English about their hateful thinking.  Hey, if someone starts, I will finish it.

Mr. Valencia’s friend’s response to this bigoted woman was the inspiration for the title of this blog post: “Estamos aquí.”  (“We are here.”)

And since the piece also mentions Cesar Chavez (in the context of the UFW motto “sí se puede”, which by the way was many years before our president hijacked it for his own political gain), I am reminded of another quote by that great man:

“Preservation of one’s own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures.” – Cesar Chavez

I wish all people would take that to heart.

Anyway, I know I can’t do much, I just do what I can.  It just seems like it’s never enough.

This blog entry is dedicated to Señor Cesar Muñoz-Plaza, who taught Spanish at McKinley Grade School – the Burlingame, California school I attended for 2 years.  He is responsible for my love of the language, and the reason why I continued to study it all through my school years, including college.  I wish I could thank him but I am unable to locate him.

This week’s recommendations…

This is a funny website – it kept me giggling, anyway.  If you liked the “Headlines” segments when Jay Leno was on the Tonight Show, you will love this site.

In the “why would anyone do this?” category, is the story of what scientists found in an ancient statue of the Buddha:

“Scan Reveals Mummy Hidden in Buddha Statue”, Huffington Post, 2/23/2015.

I don’t have any books to recommend because, after reading at least parts of 10 e-books this week (all free, thankfully), not one of them was good enough to make the cut.  In fact, I have learnt that “with over 150 5-star reviews on Goodreads!” usually means “this book is loved by people who wouldn’t know a good book if it fell on them”.

And..the only good thing I saw on TV this week was Lady Gaga’s performance at the Academy Awards, singing songs from The Sound of Music.  Here it is on YouTube.  I have to admit, I was surprised and delighted at her performance, having never actually heard her sing before.

My only comment is that I don’t know why these obviously stellar singers feel they have to have weird names and do outrageous things.  Most of the time, their talent can carry them without any of this stuff.  Gah, I sound like I’m 102!

What a pity that so much talent goes unrecognized when artists choose not to play these kinds of games.  I’m sure there are more talented people out there who are not famous, than those who are (I know some personally).  Sigh.

Be good.  Be kind.  Don’t let anyone stuff you in a statue.

 

 

TV Tropes, Violence, and the Online World

2 Replies

I want to start by stating the obvious.

General Hospital in Port Charles is NOT real life.   The Facebook General Hospital page is NOT real life.  Oh, it has real people expressing real opinions, alright, but most of them (myself included):

DO NOT know the other fans.  DO NOT know the producers.  DO NOT know the actors.  DO NOT think the characters are real people.

This last one is important, because there is a large and very vocal minority on Facebook (and on forums) who do not seem to understand that General Hospital is a fictional show with fictional people.

Why is this important?  Well it’s not, in the grand scheme of things.  But I have noticed something and it bothers me a great deal – not only do some fans think the characters are real, but they condone things the characters do.

Like physical violence and murder, emotional/psychological abuse, and running organized crime syndicates.  Along with the usual soap opera staples like blackmail, kidnapping, and adultery.

I have got to wonder why it is that these folks defend these characters, particularly one named Sonny Corinthos.

Sonny Corinthos is a mob boss.  His character has been on the soap opera for a little over 20 years (no, I have not watched all that time, having better things to do).  In that time, the character has:

~ murdered many people,

~ threatened to kill numerous others (including his current love interest),

~ blackmailed people into doing various awful things,

~ owned a stripclub that was a front for prostitution,

~ held a pregnant character against her will and theatened to kill her once she gave birth,

~ drugged another female character and raped her,

~ seemed to get a kick out of emotionally torturing people, mostly the women in his life.

He is the head of a crime syndicate that “imports coffee from Colombia” (which confuses the fans because it is never stated what illegal things he actually does import – oh, except the character claims he would NEVER deal drugs, so it can’t be that).

He is basically a completely immoral, cowardly, violent, and heinous character.

His recent escapades?

Shooting and killing his adopted son’s biological father (because he mistakenly thought the man had killed one of his many girlfriends). for which he went to prison (for about 2 weeks)…

Escaping from prison (in a hail of gunfire, of course), after finding out about a plot to bomb a party on a houseboat (which his adopted son was on)…

Running over to said houseboat where he ran into his adopted son (who had found the bomb and was carrying it outside with the intent to toss it overboard), grabbing the bomb and jumping into the water with it…

It exploded, and of course they dragged his body out, where his current love interest performed CPR on him (the cops having walked off and left him, and who could blame them really?) and revived him.

Sonny gets taken to General Hospital, and when he is being wheeled back out to be transferred back to prison, the governor of the state (New York, I guess…kudos to the real governor for not letting himself be cast in that role) walks up and pardons him.

For escaping from prison and jumping into the bay with a bomb.  A bomb that probably wouldn’t have been there if he wasn’t a mobster with equally evil enemies.

So, the character gets away with murder… again.

The fans?  Wow I have never seen such weirdness on Facebook, ever.  When Sonny was in the water, many fans were crying (really!  they wrote, “I’m crying”) and generally freaking out. Despite the many reassurances some sane fans were making (the actor had just re-signed, his character wasn’t going anywhere), there was a mood of hysteria on the page.

When he was revived, some were STILL crying.  Others made comments like, “My man Sonny!  Way to go!”   When pardoned, many fans expressed disgust at the writers for, once again, making sure this character didn’t pay for what he did (my thoughts, exactly).

Then it really got ugly.

Pages and pages of fans name-calling, writing long paragraphs explaining why this character was justified in murdering another character (the character he murdered was an alcoholic, I guess that’s a capital offense in soap opera crazyland), and referring to the character as “my Sonny”, or “my Dimples” (the actor has dimples, apparently this is a mitigating factor when committing crimes).

These, for the most part, are young people (by “young”, I mean 20-35 or thereabouts).  The reasons behind the justification for this character’s latest actions were mainly of the “you have to kill people who kill someone you love” variety, though it was usually written in language I will not repeat on this blog.

And they were serious.

That’s what bothers me.  They are serious in that they really, truly believe that.  I think about all the violence in this country that is a result of this twisted way of thinking.  “He did x, so I am gonna kill him.”

I spent a fair amount of time in psych hospitals running anger management class once a week.  Most of the hour was wasted in the neverending quest to convince people of 2 things:

1.  You do not have to react to negative things with violence.

2.  Your actions are under your control, no one else’s.

It was a losing proposition.  Patients would look at me as if I had lost my mind when I told them that yes, it is possible to go through your entire life without throwing a punch at anyone, or getting into any kind of physical altercation.

They didn’t believe it.

It was always, “He/she MADE me angry”, “he/she LOOKED at me, I knew what he/she was thinking”, and “everyone acts like this when _________ happens.”

No amount of examples could shake these ideas.  I would, for example, pick someone out and ask, “What would you do if someone walked by you on the street and called you a bitch?”

Of course, the answer would be some sort of violent reaction (hitting, shoving, etc).

I would then say, “Ok well if that happened to me, I would just wonder what their problem was, and walk on.  Then I would forget it.  So, tell me, what’s the difference?”

Crickets chirp.

Continuing on (I knew it was hopeless but I had to see it through), I would say, “The common thing here is what the person said.  But there were two different reactions to what was said.  The difference is NOT what was said, but how the other person looked at it.”

Chirp…chirp…chirp…

Sighing…”No one can MAKE you do anything.  You CHOOSE to respond violently, or not.”

“You’re wrong.  You’re lying.  You would hit them.  If you didn’t, no one would respect you.”

That was nearly always the response from the room.

Anger management does NOT work, precisely because the people who use violence to deal with things do not believe that they are responsible for it.

And so it is with the soap opera character and his legions of fans.  He wasn’t responsible for shooting the other character because it was his right to get revenge.  Even though he was wrong about who killed his girlfriend, he still wasn’t responsible – the character who led him to believe that the alcoholic killed his girlfriend was.

In other words, SHE made him do it, by lying to him.

In fact, this whole trope called “mobster with a heart of gold” is so prevalent in this show that nothing will ever shake it.  Ok, fair enough.  But it seems to be something people believe IN REAL LIFE.  And that’s scary and disgusting.

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