Author Archives: Victoria

What I Learnt from Working in a Call Center, or…Keurig Comes Through.

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Just wanted to tell everyone that Keurig emailed me today, and is sending me a Keurig Mini to replace my old one.  For free.  Plus 2 boxes of K-Cups (Starbuck’s and Dunkin’ Donuts).

They didn’t state explicitly that it is “new”, and not “refurbished”, so I am hoping it actually is new.  Sometimes companies do that – the call center I worked for who represented a retail-company-who-shall-not-be-named, often sent refurbished products as exchanges.

Anyway, I don’t have to send my dead Mini back.  And I know why, too – the cost of production is too low to justify the pre-paid shipping Keurig would have to shell out to get it back.  I learnt that from the call center, too.

At $99/unit (retail), I am betting this unit actually cost around $18 to make.

The bits and bobs of relatively useless information you pick up on life’s journey!

 

Fruit Flies, Keurig’s Demise, and Very Tired Eyes!

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Ok, not my rhymingliest best, I admit.  And I even had to look words up that rhyme with “flies”, on www.Rhymezone.com.   Because….really super-tired.

Aside #1: That reminds me, I am updating my “Weird and Wonderful” section later today, where I list websites that I like.  Check it out sometime!

Blair County – heck, maybe even more parts of Pennsyvlania, I don’t know – is experiencing a fruit fly invasion.  I know this because yesterday Nancy and I went to several different stores, looking for Terro Fruit-Fly Traps in order to supplement our “vinegar-in-a-shallow-glass-with-plastic-wrap-over-the-top-that-you-punch-holes-in” homemade traps.

Aside #2: This really does work.  You take a shot glass or something similar, fill it with apple cider vinegar, cover the top with plastic wrap, and use a toothpick to punch holes in the plastic so they can get in but not out.  (Nancy, ever brilliant, is using an empty grated cheese shaker because the tops already have fruit-fly-sized holes)  

Some people also put a drop of soap in there but I haven’t found this makes a difference.  Set the traps near sinks or other places you see fruit flies, and soon you will have glasses of dead fruit flies. Also works as a diet aid – yuck, don’t drink it EWWWW – as the sight of these traps effectively kills the appetite for some people.

So, anyway, Nancy and I went first to Walmart – sold out.  Hmm.  Then to Lowe’s – sold out.  And then to Home Depot – sold out.

“At least it’s not just us,” Nancy pointed out.  See, that’s the difference between us – she sees that stuff being sold out as vindication for our housecleaning skills.  I see it as “dammit, they’re sold out!!”  She’s a much more mellow person.

In the Home Depot parking lot, I called Walgreen’s, and asked if they had fruit fly traps.  After being put on hold for a few minutes listening to Sinead O’Connor, the woman came back and stated that they had 2 left.

The price?  $1 more than everywhere else we just looked.  Typical Walgreen’s.  Their prices are not competitve for most things anymore.

So, we raced over to Walgreen’s and bought the last 2.

Then we went back to Hollidaysburg to the feed store (which the guy at Home Depot suggested).  This place is across the rr tracks from where we live, and it didn’t even occur to us to look for this product there (which would have saved time and gas).

But they had 4.  And we bought those, too.

So, with 3 for her and 3 for me, we went to our separate apartments and got to work.   And I have to admit, the Terro traps are worth the $6-$7 each just for the fact that they look like little apples, and are opaque so you don’t have to look at the awful, disgusting creatures as they climb down to their doom.

Aside #3: Well, they hang around the rim of the apples until they figure out where the lure is, and watching that is gross, but once they fall in you can’t see them unless you choose to look in the handy little window on the side (I guess so you can be assured it’s working).  

I saw a great term on the internet the other day that describes the feeling I get when I see the congregation of fruit flies anywhere…”squicked out”.  I saw that made-up phrase on a site about “trypophobia” (not an official phobia, actually)…I don’t have it, I was just curious…if you saw the lotus plant pics photoshopped onto peoples’ skin…it’s that kind of teeth-clenching, skin-crawlng,”oh-my-goodness-get-those-seeds-out-of-those-holes-RIGHT-NOW” reaction that the person described as feeling “squicked out.”

Aside #4: Don’t Google the pics, unless you are absolutely sure you’re not going to react badly to them.  Many people find the pics disturbing, which is why I have not provided a link.

For me, it’s just the skin-crawling, I-want-to-squish-every-fruit-fly-on-there kind of reaction.  Not fear, just “MUST DESTROY”!  Pretty violent for a vegetarian, I must admit.  In fact, had my high school biology teacher used fruit flies instead of frogs for her evil “hurt/kill life forms” assignments, I might have actually not failed that class (I used to skip it and go down to the “feeshing hole”, an area behind Falls Church High School where the “freaks” went to smoke weed).

Pfft, even my parents backed me up on the refusal to pith frogs, due to being a vegetarian.  But back in 1971, no one cared.  So I got an F.

But killing fruit flies? I wouldn’t have had a problem with that – though no doubt some of my “friends” back then would have tormented me for killing fruit flies as some kind of moral equivalency to killing cows.  Because they did that to me on a regular basis, to make fun of me.

But I digress.

In my battle against the grossness that are fruit flies, I had to buy those disposable medical masks you can get at the Dollar Tree because they kept trying to fly in my face – a “squickable moment” if there ever was one!   Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

Aside #5: And to think, this is the same kind of reaction as “frisson”, what idiots pay people to induce in them via the internet.  Of course, attractive young women induce a nicer frisson than do fruit flies, which is why my “Fruit Fly Frisson-Fest!” idea is doomed to fail.

The monster population is smaller today, but still giving me the willies.  I have been through this apartment with a fine-toothed comb (not hard, as it’s only 800 sq ft) and I still cannot find where they are coming from.  I even closed the windows in the back room, where the kitties like to sit and watch/listen to birdies, just in case the enemy was getting in through the screen somehow.

So now the kitties are unhappy, too.

I called the Penn State bug people, and they told me to look outside.  For compost heaps, for uncovered garbage, and other potential breeding places.

I know Nancy and I don’t have anything like that.  What am I supposed to do if I find a neighbor who is contributing to the problem?

“Excuse me, you don’t know me but…uh…I notice your garbage seems to be breeding fruit flies.  Do you think you could do something about that?  Because our house is infested and we think maybe your property is the source.”

I don’t know, that just seems kind of rude and intrusive.  Plus, the most likely offender lives 2 doors down, is armed, and every summer can be heard screaming at our other neighbor in a dispute over whether or not he has the right to play Lynnard Skynnard, outside, full-blast, at midnight.  I notice he has a lot of stacks of…stuff…in his yard.  He owns some kind of business that requires a lot of equipment and wood and barrels on his property, and who knows if it breeds anything?

Nope, I think we’ll just have to continue to battle them here, and try to defend our house against more invaders.   I really hope they’re gone soon, because I am sick of wearing this mask and eating at break-neck speed, one-handed, while using the other hand as a fan to ward off any stray bugs.  EWWW!!!

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Ready…Steady…Work!!

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I have been thinking a lot about work lately. Because I want to go back.

I want to pay rent and bills, and have money left over to save for things like a car, a passport, and travel – particularly back to my beloved Belfast (which I still can’t see pics of without crying).

I want to be able to go shopping for food and not have to constantly add up prices, and reluctantly put things back.  I cannot even recall what that’s like, for the brief times I wasn’t poor.  I do recall it felt good, though.

I am not one of those people who, even when they make a decent living, pinches every penny and eats crappy food to save money.  I find them really annoying, those “cheap bastards”.

Anyway, I got to thinking, as I was reading websites yesterday.  Since I subscribe to a lot of healthcare blogs, news sites, and so on, I read a lot of stories about people who either are in therapy, or conduct therapy as trained and educated professionals, or “conduct therapy” as laypeople who think “I can do that, I don’t need education”.

I have softened my stance a bit on this last group.  It used to annoy me to no end when people would ask, rhetorically, “Why do I have to jump through a bunch of hoops to get a degree and get licensed, when doing therapy is so easy?  All my friends come to me for help, and they tell me I’m better than any counselor they’ve ever paid to see.”

I used to think, “You arrogant so-and-so!  Therapy isn’t just letting people state their problem, and then you tell them what to do, ala Ann Landers!  It’s nothing like that!”

But, oh, it is, to a certain extent.  It’s not supposed to be, but it is.

I have worked in quite a few places, mostly hospitals but some outpatient places, and with the rare exception, that’s exactly what the average person will find when he/she goes to a therapist.

Aside #1: Yes, my master’s degree is in experimental psychology, with a minor in special education. But, most of the core requirements are the same as clinical – until you get to the “practicum” part and the graduate level in counseling etc.  

However…when you have access to academic journals and read a lot of research on therapeutic techniques, plus get a lot of continuing education mini-courses/training seminars/conferences through the workplace, you tend to get a lot of clinical knowledge and can use that to drive your therapeutic techniques.  That’s what I did.

Example: The last place I worked at was a methadone clinic.  In my opinion, methadone maintenance is a good idea – in theory.  The theory being, of course, that you switch people from heroin to methadone, then get them off that completely via therapy and tapering.

What a stone pity it doesn’t work that way in practice.

At this particular outpatient facility, the clients had to have failed rehab a lot of times to even get in (not sure why that was a supposedly clinical requirement – but it sure makes for a profitable business).

Some clients came via court order, in lieu of jail.

Some came because they were pregnant (and Pennsylvania, unlike Tennessee and other places, does not automatically charge a woman with child abuse if she becomes pregnant while addicted).  They were worried about their babies.

Some came because they wanted a free alternative to heroin.

Only a few ever came because they wanted, really wanted, to get clean.

The program goes like this: You come in for your dose, and on days when you are required to go to either group or individual therapy, you do that first AND THEN dose.

Let me tell you, there’s nothing like leading group therapy at 5:30 AM with a group of people who are in various stages of withdrawal.  It’s not fair to them, and the fact that usually that was the ONLY way the company could get them into therapy speaks volumes about how ineffective the program is.

And how ineffective the screening process is.

Aside #2: When you admit patients to a program who pretty clearly do not want to deal with their addiction and get off heroin, you can be assured that those patients are going to be quite profitable for your business – because they’ll never get better, and they’ll consistently resist tapering off.  

Cha-ching!  Client for life – or until the insurance runs out.

I sat in on a couple of these “group therapy” sessions when I first started working there.  The first one involved the “therapist” (I cannot and will not call these people therapists, degree or not) playing Hangman with the group.

Hangman!  You know, the game where you guess the word by guessing letters.

Hangman!  Not “Hangman-and-then-we-discuss-these-terms-you-just-guessed-and-apply-them-to-your-addiction”   That might have actually counted as “psychoeducational”.

But just the game?  No, that doesn’t count as anything but “time-filler-for-someone-who-doesn’t-know-how-to-conduct-group-therapy”.  And, “easy-thing-to-do-with-clients-so-they-won’t-hate-me-because-I-won’t-let-them-dose-until-we’re-finished”.

This was typical stuff.  The other things the “therapists” did for group were:

~ Picked a topic and let clients ramble.

~ Brought a Bible and conducted Bible study under the guise of, not in addition to, therapy.  I am all in favor of using the Bible – or any other religious/spirtitual text – if the client’s beliefs are important to them, and if it is an adjunct to therapy.  But in place of therapy?  No, that’s completely unprofessional.

~ Went around the room and asked each client, “So, how are you doing?”  That usually ate up the entire time, and the “therapist” didn’t even have to talk.

Group therapy interventions like showing videos had to be approved by the director (who had no degree in anything, nor had any experience with addiction).  I wanted to show part of a video from PBS explaining where heroin comes from, and how it contributes to terrorism.

My idea was that maybe some clients who couldn’t be reached other ways would possibly be reached by this little nugget of knowledge. Especially if they were Gulf War veterans.

I wasn’t allowed to do it.  Why?  “Showing how heroin is made might trigger them to use.”

Trigger them to use??  When 80-99% of them are testing positive not only for methadone, but for illegal opiates, alcohol, and benzodiazepines?

Aside #3: “Benzodiazepines” are drugs like Xanax and Valium.  If you take them with any kind of opiate or alcohol, you get higher than a kite.  Or stop breathing and die.  Or both.  

This decision of hers just illustrated how little she knows about addiction, therapy, or…well, or about people in general, and addicts in particular, really.

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Oh Joy! Oh No! Ack!

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Hello, again, all…

The “joy” part of this title is that the wheels for Coco arrived today!  Of course, I opened the box and…I don’t know why I do this to myself.  I knew I wasn’t going to understand how to put the wheels on.  I have this mechanical reasoning learning disability, a bad one – I am incapable of understanding diagrams and assembly directions.  Yet I continue to hope that one day I will magically acquire this ability.

No.  Took one look and decided “uh uh, this is a job for my friend Nancy.”  Nancy, y’all may recall, lives downstairs.   She’s a really helpful woman, who knows how to do things like this.  So I sent her a text (not knowing if she was sleeping, I didn’t want to pound on her door and disturb her, as she works crazy hours).

I’m sure by Monday, the wheels will be on.  And, hopefully, I will finally ride my bike!!

The “oh no” and “ack” exclamations have nowt to do with Coco and Her Magic Wheels.

They have to do with Wednesday’s topic: internet anonymity.

If you read Wednesday’s post, you know I encountered a rather snarky individual on a UFO blog site who jumped in a conversation he was not a part of, just to let me know that I, as an “AC” (“anonymous contributor”), was not worthy of him engaging in any dialogue with.

My thoughts on that were he’s an egotistical asshole, so what?  And after I wrote my blog piece, which mentioned him only briefly, I forgot both him and the blog site in question.

Then I got an email from the site, which sends emails out when replies are written to threads you post on.  Here’s where the “oh no” comes in, as in that (sorta) old expression, “Oh no, he didn’t!”

Someone else, who also uses his full name, posted something directly to me, disguised as a further explanation of why he and this other guy think “ACs” are the devil’s spawn or something, but was really a personal attack.  I saw it for what it was, I knew he was baiting..

…but I bit.  That’s the “ack” part.  I got angry because he stated he clicked on my “muse” ID, and nothing was there.  Then he launched into a brief tirade about how it’s easy to “aggressively attack people” when you don’t have the guts to identify yourself, or words to that effect.

As I had only asked a couple of questions, and never attacked anyone (and even thanked the nice guy who told me what “AC” stood for), this really pissed me off.  Because he was implying that I had some kind of troll agenda, just because he didn’t know what my name was.

Or that I like eggplant, which is the first line in my Google ID.  I have no idea what he clicked on, but there is info on my Google ID and I told him so.  I also told him I didn’t know why he couldn’t access it, but I didn’t care about “fixing” it, anyway, because I only use Google to post online when it’s a shortcut.

I then went on to state – and here’s where I really might have gotten carried away – my full name, the town I live in, my educational background, my age, the fact that I am on disability and am a survivor of domestic violence, and that I write a blog that has all this information – and more – on it, and that it’s public, on WordPress.  I didn’t mention the name, because I think it’s rude to plug one’s blog site on someone else’s blog, unless they ask.

Oh, and I told them my journal articles in cognitive science are available online, which they can Google if they want.   Normally, I do not throw my education at people like that, but they both were so smug and so know-it-all about being stupid posters on someone else’s blog site, that it just irked the hell out of me.

“Think you know it all?  I’M SMART, ASSHOLE.  WHAT PUBLICATIONS DO YOU HAVE?” This was what I was thinking.  It’s kind of a petty part of me, and probably comes from being called “stupid” by my family as I was growing up (sorry to disillusion anyone, but, yes, they did that).

The owner of the site should have stepped in and took this person to task for his snarky implications, but he didn’t – therefore sort of letting it go unchallenged unless I said something. And I wasn’t even going to say anything, not to the first guy, but then the second one posted and it was like poking me with a sharp stick.

At any rate, it was such a long rant that I actually had to edit it in order to post it, as the site has limits on long your comment can be.  I was so angry!  I even stated that I not only hadn’t planned to attack people, but I didn’t even have any definitive views on what UFOs are (except for alien abduction, which I believe is a sleep disorder thing).  I pointed out that, of the 3 people who responded to my comment, only 1 was civil and nice…

…the other “anonymous contributor”.

And that they, both with their full names, were rude and engaged in a personal attack on someone for merely asking questions.  I ended that part of the rant by telling them that their “theory” about how people who post under their real names do not post verbally aggressive comments was not true, as evidenced by their own boorish behavior and also by there not being ONE shred of scientific research that backs up that claim.

I phrased this as “As an expert – and I am – I can tell you there is NO scientific research to back up your claims.”  Oh, I was in full-bitch mode.

Then I apologized to the blog site owner for ranting, but stated I felt I needed to defend myself against these 2 readers and their accusations.

I haven’t heard back.  Either no one commented on it, or the blog owner deleted it. Because…females and their rants.  The site is only commented on by men, I suspect because they run all the females off, and also because the “UFO Community” at large is male-dominated and extremely sexist.

Even if I get another email indicating someone replied, I know better than to even open it.  And now this is yet another site that I won’t be reading – even though it is interesting – because there are just too many dickheads on it to make it pleasurable.  Oh, and because the blog owner, this author who I really used to like, didn’t even have the balls to rein in his “regulars”.

I am only somewhat dismayed that I lost my temper.  I am not worried about what I wrote, because I am on the internet in several different places and it’s not hard to find this information I revealed in my comment.  No doubt, they probably all just dismissed it as the post-menopausal ravings of some weird woman in Pennsylvania.  Pfft, I don’t care.

It’s like the last Daily Beast comment I posted, before deciding to not deal with that site anymore, either.

It seems one of the “social justice warriors” who posts comments to neo-cons, such as “you’re racist!  I bet you would take the food out of a Black kid’s mouth!” and other stupid things, decided to disclose that he once worked with the cops as a security guard (I bet the cops didn’t see it that way), and was “horrified” at the things the cops did to shoplifters.

Which he stood by and watched.  Time and time again, because he “didn’t want to get fired”. Watched, as cops stripped women to search them, made disgusting comments, even inappropriately touched them, and on and on.

Now, y’all know me – what do you think I felt about that?  Do you think maybe I called him a coward?

Do you think I told him he had a lot of nerve coming down on other people, when all he did was write crap on the internet and when it really would count, he did…nothing?

Do you think maybe I told him he ought to get down on his knees and ask those women’s forgiveness for doing nothing while their lives were ruined?  And asked him how he could sleep at night?

You bet I did.  But, of course, it didn’t stop him from doing the same thing, day in and day out, as if he didn’t have a hypocritical bone in his body.

So, I decided, enough of this.  I know eventually, in my heart, that this guy is going to think about what I wrote.  And hopefully it will stick in his liberal-ass conscience for a good long while.

But I can rant and emote here.  And I need to focus on my own life, right now, while I can still do something about it.  Because if I don’t get my health somewhat under control, and get as fit as I can get, I won’t be able to help anyone else.

I can’t promise I won’t pop off on another comments section.  But I am hoping that getting wheels on Coco will have me out and about in the world more often, biking around my small town and enjoying the summer.

And I know from personal experience – because people have told me this – that what I say to people does have an impact.  If not materially, at least it gooses their consciences now and again.  And if I can change just one person’s attitude towards the rest of the human race, if I can convince just one to be kinder in his/her daily life, if I can put just one asshole in his place…

…it’s ok.  I am doing what I can.  Now it’s time to focus on me.

I forgot to recommend this guy last time…he is oh-so-funny, and anyone who has had regular contact with the healthcare system (either as a patient or an employee), will love this man.  He’s the Weird Al of the medical field…I give you….

Dr. ZDogg in da house!!

He’s like what Dr. Wonderful would be like, if Dr. Wonderful did song parodies (I’ll have to ask him, you never know!).

Be good.  Be kind.  Have a wonderful, joyful weekend!

 

The Internet is Like the World’s Playground…

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…and not in a good way.  No, not at all, in my opinion.

I have written about – or made reference to – the lack of politeness norms on the internet.  My interest in this subject goes way back to when I was in graduate school at the University of Memphis (from 1997-2000), when I studied under Dr. Art Graesser in the Cognitive Science Lab. Some of the research I was involved in was language-based, particularly something called “conversational smoothness” in terms of how an intelligent tutoring system (AI) would reproduce that.

Aside #1: Wow do I ever miss that!  For one of the first times in my life, I actually felt smart!

At any rate, when I wasn’t studying and so on, I was into chat.  Primarily Yahoo chat.  And I became really interested in politeness norms regarding chat – mostly because, aside from turn-taking, there really weren’t any.  People would argue, and sometimes “text bomb” people (causing the chat program to crash), and generally were verbally combative at times.

I thought this was as bad as it gets.  Oh I was so wrong.  It’s a lot worse now.

Besides the usual rude things I read in comments sections these days, and there are certainly many of those, there is something emerging that puzzles me to no end, and indicates to me that there is a certain pathology manifesting itself.

It is the idea of an “anonymous contributor”.

Twice this week, I have run into this myself, regarding my own comments.  And it really, really surprised me.

The first one was when I read an article by a psychiatrist who was reviewing a film about schizophrenia.  He made the remark that, in his opinion, only a psychiatrist could have made the film, particularly someone who had personal experience with schizophrenia.  I posted a comment asking why he said this, as there are many professionals besides psychiatrists who are quite familiar with schizophrenia – like nurses and therapists.

Aside #2: I wasn’t trying to be an asshole.  I just wanted to know why he thought that.  In retrospect, recalling psychiatrists I have worked with – SOME psychiatrists – I ought to have known better.  His response was somewhat…erm…defensive – and clearly I had inadvertently offended him.  But that’s not my main point.

Main point: About 2 minutes after I submitted this comment – which was under my actual first name – I got an email from the editors stating (as the next comment under mine) that they require commenters to state their full names and titles.  Since I was registered at the site under my full name and so on, I thought it odd but replied in the next comment what my name and title were – Ms. Victoria Pomeroy, MS (psychology). I threw the “Ms.” in there just to sound like I was taking umbrage at the whole thing, which I was, actually.

Aside #3: The umbrage thing was lost on someone who replied to the content of my initial comment, as evidenced by him addressing me as “Victoria” and not “Ms. Pomeroy”.  Or maybe the way he addressed me was a deliberate familiarity – and, considering the profession, I think that’s more likely than an inability to recognize the “hmph!” tone I used when referring to myself as “Ms.”  

Pfft!  I do not consider any site that someone registers for – which usually includes full name, email address, sometimes age, sometimes gender, to be “anonymous.”  Even how the editors addressed me when they stated that thing about “full name and title” was odd, as it was in quotes – “Victoria”, as if this were some sort of nom de plume.

Gee, that wouldn’t be very creative now, would it?  Kinda like the name of this blog – it’s not creative, and it clearly states what my name is.

Well, so, no big deal.  I was somewhat put off by it, but considering the source – the type of internet publication it is – that’s just how those types of folks roll.

The next experience I had regarding this was when I asked a simple question in a comments section of a…well…how do I describe this?  It’s a blog written by someone whose books I have read and like, who is involved in the UFO community.

Aside #4: You need to stop that eye-rolling, or your eyes will freeze that way, I promise you! Yes, I mean you!!  I see you!! Stop it!

*Clears throat*

The blog post in question was just the author laying down some boundaries, which I think were long overdue.  He stated there would be no more insulting remarks, name-calling, and so on. Pretty straightforward, wouldn’t you think?

This caused a discussion to develop amongst the “regulars” (no, I am not one, I am a “newbie”) concerning certain people and their stances on things like the “Roswell Slides” (a non-event, don’t even bother Googling it), and then morphing into a sort of tirade by some people regarding “ACs”.  Oh and some mention, in the same train of thought, to “AJB”.

Air conditioners?  Alternating current?  And I had no guess as to what “AJB” was.

So I asked.  And, at the site, I am registered by my Google ID, which is “muse”.  Which, to my understanding, also has my correct email address and probably other Googly things, like my picture of Finnian-Da-Kitteh as my ID pic and all.

Aside #5: Yes, yes, I am getting a real pic taken uh…when I feel un-shy some day.  Don’t hold your breath.  I have always been camera shy, and it’s a miracle there is even that one pic of me at 16, taken by Stange.  His charm, no doubt!

Ok, so I asked what “AC” and “AJB” meant.  A nice person, who only has initials in his ID, explained that “AC” – which meant “alternating current” to him (he’s old like me I guess heh) – in internet lingo means “anonymous contributor”.

The “AJB” refers to someone that a lot of people who comment on that blog do not like, whose involvement in the aforementioned “Roswell Slides” is the subject of apparently much derision and internet posturing.  I guess he posts on the comments section a lot, but wasn’t commenting on that particular article (perhaps wisely).

Aside #6: I also asked what was considered an “expert” in the UFO field (no, I wasn’t baiting, I wanted to know what their operational definition was, since a few posters had mentioned that), and what constitutes anonymity if we are all required to register using Google IDs and so on.  No one answered that.

Ok, so far so good…until I read the response to my thanking this poster for his explanations.

The response was written by someone who posts under his (apparent) full name, first and last. He derided the fact that “two ACs” were discussing what the abbreviation meant, and went on to declare that anyone who is an AC isn’t worth his time to respond to (irony is lost on him, I guess).

This is definitely someone who is not only stuck on himself, but who also has to have the last word.  His previous comments on the thread dealt with how skeptics misuse Occam’s Razor (of course he had to spell it as Okham’s, because he’s so much smarter don’t ya know) to bash such clearly superior ideas as aliens being the cause of unexplained phenomena.

As opposed to, you know, clearly unscientific ideas such as sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations.

Sigh.

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Moto, Meet Coco!

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I read a story online about a woman who claimed she had been sent hate mail from an anonymous neighbor, telling her she should stop being “relentlessly gay”.  Julie Baker stated this was prompted by a string of colored Mason jars with lights that she strung up on her porch, creating a rainbow of colors that she says made this so-called neighbor think of gay people.

She had a picture of the note, and put it up on her Facebook page.  It was full of that internet faddish writing of randomly capitalized words that for some reason is so popular on Facebook and other websites nowadays.

Her friends then forwarded it to George Takei on Twitter, because Mr. Takei is out of the closet and is a huge supporter of gay rights.  All good so far, right?

No.  Because the purpose of this woman and her friends doing this was so she could “redecorate” and “remodel” her house, supposedly to “make it really gay” with a rainbow roof and so on.  She wants money.  She started a GoFundMe account, and so far has raised over $43,000!!

Turns out, this woman most likely wrote the note herself.  Her Facebook page, before someone corrected it, was full of that random capitalization style of writing, and looked suspiciously similar to the note.  She has never filed a police report and, when one of the local cops went to check it out, she wouldn’t show him the note – claiming she no longer had it.

Uh huh, ok then.

Long before this, her Facebook page also chronicled her troubles with owning an old house that needs repairs.  Oh, such First World problems!

Neighbors, who wrote in to the comments sections on various articles that covered this story, stated that the woman lives across the street from an openly gay-friendly church.  They also stated the woman has so much debris strewn across her yard that she has amassed fines. Fines which she can’t pay.

Friends – or, former friends now, I guess – also stated that the woman owes property taxes.  And that she and the people who are promoting this are planning a big party.

The article I linked to here states that she was originally going to donate everything over $5000, but a friend of hers who also runs a website that sells t-shirts for Julie “arrogantly proclaimed: ‘…that would be, pardon my french, an epic fucking waste, regardless of the charity, because Nixy is more generous than twenty average people put together.’ ” (“Relentlessly Gay Fundraiser by Julie Baker: Suspicions Abound”, Matt’s Repository website, 6/22/15)

I think this is going to signal the end soon of GoFundMe, because people do stuff like this.

Yes, she didn’t lie about wanting money for personal reasons.  But she did apparently make up this whole persecuted thing, for her own personal gain.  And that’s shameful.

Plus, what she gets in donations could have been spent on someone who really does need legitimate help on that site.  So she’s actually harming others.  She is also harming the gay community – of which she’s not even a part – by making their cause sound frivolous, when it’s anything but.

I thought about all this, as I was pondering ways to get around more effectively – specifically, so I could volunteer and also maybe, just maybe, take an aerobics class or two so I can get healthy and get off disability.

Stay with me – it all ties in together.

I have written about how I take the Blair Senior Services van to go to doctor’s appointments and also to go grocery shopping, because I don’t have a car and I am not able to walk to and from bus stops (yet).

It costs nothing to go to/from medical places.  Anywhere else, like grocery stores, it costs $6 round trip.  And getting a month’s worth of groceries on and off a passenger van is difficult.  If I could go 2 or 3 times a month, it would be a lot easier.

But that’s $18/month.  Add in trips to other places I might need to go – Petco, or to buy clothing, cleaning products and so on, and that’s even more money.

So I thought of GoFundMe.  No, I don’t think it’s my right to have a car.   But it would help me get back into life if I had one – and even with gas and insurance, it would still be a bargain for me because I could do so much more with my life.

I could volunteer.  I have tried to do that at numerous places, but it’s a no-go, because if you don’t have transportation….too bad.  No one carpools.  No one wants to help out another volunteer, even one who would contribute gas money.  I have applied at 5 places, and none contacted me back as soon as I asked them about transportation.

I could take reduced-priced aerobics classes.  I could…apply for jobs.  I could even drive down to Memphis and visit my son and his wife, or to Atlanta and visit my other son.  i haven’t seen either of them in 2 years.  And I really, really miss them.

If one of my cats got sick, I could take them to the vet (a worry, because if one got sick now…I can’t call a taxi, and they won’t take cats on the van…).

When I get suddenly sick, and I have been doing that a lot lately since the “mystery illness” has come back, I could actually go to the doctor – the van requires 24 hour notice, and no way am I calling an ambulance for fever, vertigo, and nausea.

Then I read about Julie Baker, and her stupid, selfish fundraising efforts.  And I felt guilty even thinking about using GoFundMe after that.

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My Life, Decluttered. And New-Age Crap.

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Since this blog has a few purposes – healthcare/other news, health info for my family and descendants, a place for me to rant and rave, and a commentary on social norms with a plea at the end to “be kind” – it’s sometimes hard to choose what to write about.

I don’t want this blog to be overly negative.  But sometimes, when I get to thinking about my life in relation to the rest of the world, and I come to the conclusion that I need to make changes, I guess I can sometimes be seen as a “Negative Nelly” (hey, I found that in an urban dictionary, so it’s not as old an expression as it seems).  I hope this isn’t one of those times.

I read a lot of articles and blogs.  I comment on a few in their comments sections.  I do it to make a point about something, not to argue or berate someone.  I usually never even look back to see if anyone responded to my comment, because I am not going to be suckered into an internet “war” – that, to me, is unproductive and a waste of time.

But I do read others’ comments from those who posted before I did, to see what they’re thinking in reaction to the initial article.  And all I can think is…

…how hateful they all are.  Mean, and angry.  And if you call them on it, they scream. “It’s only the internet. Lighten up!”  And then they call you names or swear at you.

I find that puzzling, because what they posted before that was a personal attack on someone – another poster, or a person in the news, or an actor, etc.  Personal as in, “He’s ugly.  He has no talent.   She’s stupid.  She’s a fool.”  Or even, “Why doesn’t he/she just kill him/herself?”

Considering how much some people – especially young people – are hurt by cyber-bullying, to say things like that and then claim it’s harmless or has no effect is false.  Otherwise, why did the person post it?  They clearly posted it to make the other person feel bad.  And that alarms me.

It also made me think of that old saw, “You are treated only as badly or as well as you allow.” And I think that is the biggest bunch of new-age crap, ever.

It should be stated as, “If someone is treating you badly, don’t allow further contact.”   Because no one is responsible for bullying or treating others badly except for the person who is doing it.   

See, this is what drives me ’round the bend about new-age adages: They make everything personal responsibility except how others act.  

If you’re poor, it’s because you don’t want money badly enough.

If you’re ill, it’s because you don’t eat right or you can’t visualize your body as “well”.

If you’re born disabled, you chose that in another life.

If you’re battered, you did something to provoke it (ok that isn’t a new-age thing, but I threw that in to show how the other statements are just as ignorant).

Or, as someone tried to point out to me recently, if you are hurt by daily/monthly/yearly microaggression, it’s because you ‘let it get to you’.  Completely missing the “water on stone” metaphor I wrote. And not addressing the problem, which is people’s treatment of the poor, in general.

I’m not sure what this kind of thinking does for anyone, except for well-off, healthy, insensitive people.

Aside #1: It also helps some sell their “cures” for poverty, illness, disability, sadness.   Cha-ching!

It gets them off the hook because, hey, they can be sure they didn’t have a hand in any of it (even if they did), and they don’t need to help because it’s all karma anyway and who are they to interfere with the universe?

Well, aside from teaching/selling the secret of the week to a better life, they also have the side benefit of being smug about their own entitled life.  They can give their less fortunate/wrongheaded/clearly unenlightened friends unsolicited advice that, because the new-age thinkers are so grossly insensitive, just serves to make their friend feel worse for talking to them.

This brings me (finally) to the subject of today’s post: The sometimes painful act of eliminating certain people from one’s life, because they consistently bring you down and hurt your feelings.

I have a friend I reconnected with awhile back, who is one of the best friends ever.  He is supportive, he gives great advice/feedback not only about this blog but other things I ask him about, he and I can discuss things without arguing, we have a lot of fun emailing back and forth, and I know I can count on him when I really need him.  I am sure he feels the same about me. We are good friends, and I am so glad for that.

He represents the standard by which I began to look at other people I considered “friends”.  Not acquaintances, but actual friends with whom you share personal stuff and so on.

He is one of the very few of my “friends” who actually reads this blog.  I put that in bold because, how hard of a requirement of friendship is it to read something once a week that takes just a few minutes? The time it takes for the usual “bathroom reading”?  Even after I appeal for feedback in order to make this blog more interesting, they can’t even drop me a line or two to tell me why they don’t like it?

That is such a minimal test of friendship that I don’t even pause a second when I cut contact with them.  Some probably don’t even notice or care – proving they weren’t friends to begin with.

Aside #2: Some actually have the gall to tell me they are “too busy to read it”.  Yet they routinely post on Facebook, all day every day.  And ask me what I think of their writing/artwork.  I used to go to their links and give them encouragement, to show them I care about what they do, because that’s what friends do.

 

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Back, with Uncle Bob

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Well, I don’t actually have an Uncle Bob, not that I know of, anyway.  I was just coming up blank when trying to think of a title for this post, so this just sort of rolled out.

I didn’t think I would be back online this soon.  But thanks to my 2 sons, I was able to get back online very quickly.

My PC just shut off.  It would turn on for, say, 10 seconds, then shut off.  Not long enough for me to drag anything into the little storage thing that hangs on my keychain.  But, initially, saving data was not my first worry – I was just worried (ok, panicked, kinda) that I wouldn’t be able to get back online until I bought a new computer.

Which – if you either know me or have been reading this blog long enough – you know that’s something that would take several months to a year for me to buy.   Saving up that kind of dosh would take ages.

Fortunately, several months ago my older son sent me a Mac for which he no longer had any use, so with desperation trumping my fear of all things electronic I took it down from the shelf and attempted to use it…

…and couldn’t locate the “on” button.

I’m serious.  I could not find it.  I even looked online via Moto to see if there was a drawing showing just where on the keyboard it was located, and I still couldn’t find it.  I punched a couple of buttons that looked as if they might be an “on” button, but nothing happened.

Then I saw it – this tiny thing on the upper right corner of the Mac that looks like a decal.  It is actually a teeny tiny button that turns it on.  So, yay!

It had Safari on it but I can deal with different browsers, so I tried to pull up the Google page and…

…it wouldn’t connect to the internet.  Aaarrgggghhhhh!!

I took it downstairs to my friend and neighbor Nancy, because she is tech savvy (well, more tech savvy than I am), and she tried to get it to connect to the WiFi router.   Nothing worked.

Aside #1: Just like when I tried to connect Moto to the router – it wouldn’t, no matter what I tried. Eventually I resigned myself to not ever being able to solve the mystery of the maddening malfunctioning Moto, and have been using up all my data by the end of each month (instead of using my WiFi at home).

So Nancy very kindly lent me her computer so I could pay bills and the ever-important rent. Then I went upstairs again with a roaring headache, and took a nap.  Because, you know, frustration and all the tears that go along with it (I don’t get angry when I am frustrated, I cry).

That afternoon I texted my younger son and asked for help.  After going through everything and double-checking the password, he finally told me to go get an Ethernet cable and connect the Mac directly to the router and, if that didn’t work, connect it directly to the modem.

So, $25 poorer and 24 hours later, I was back with an Ethernet cable.  Which, of course, took me 2 hours to get because I had to take the shared-ride van.  It’s never just as simple as “running to the store”.

I hooked the Mac up to the router, put in the password, and…

…nothing.   Aaaaiiiiieeeee!!

I hooked the Mac up to the modem, and…

…nothing.  Aaaaiiiiieeeee!!

I texted both my sons and pled for help.  After sending my older son pictures of the screens I was looking at, he walked me through setting up the network connection again, just in case I missed something.

And it still didn’t work!  I was beside myself!  I was in a pit of despair!  I was wringing my hands in distress!  I was…well, you get the picture.

Finally, my son asked me if I had the right password.

Aside #2: That probably should have been his very first question but I think he didn’t want to hurt my feelings by asking something so basic.

“Yes, I have the password and the key numbers, but it never asks for the key, so I don’t know where that goes,” I replied.

“Hmm,” he said, “the password usually is the key.”

So I undid everything, went back in to set-up, and entered the key this time, and…Bob’s your uncle!

It worked!

Yes, I had been entering the wrong information as far back as September when I tried to connect Moto to the router.  Because to me, a password is a password and a key is something that opens physical locks (or provides answers to a test).

I didn’t need the Ethernet cable.  I didn’t need to use up all my smartphone data each month.  I didn’t need to resign myself to a Luddite-like life of shame.

All I needed was that little inadvertent hint from my older son.  And now my world is a little less stressful today.

I have some information on my other PC that I would like to have, but fortunately I did some backing up in September, so most of what I want is available to me.  The stuff that isn’t – like 2 Excel files I would like to have – I will just have to redo in whatever database program is on this Mac, if I can find it (hey, it took me 10 minutes just to find the calculator, because it doesn’t have that left-hand search menu that Windows PCs have).

A big reminder to BACK THINGS UP a bit more often than once a year.  Lesson learned.

On Wednesday I will publish what I was going to this past Wednesday – maybe.  It’s kind of a cranky essay on people who fall into the category of frenemies.  Well, maybe “frenemies” is a bit harsh to describe 2 women I have felt the need to completely stop communicating with lately, due to them both being, well, downright mean to me.  Consistently and without provocation.

It’s painful to have to do that to people you have cared about and trusted for many years, but I have a tendency to cut people close to me way too much slack when it comes to how they treat me, and that has to stop.  Sigh.

So, until Wednesday…

Gone Indefinitely

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I am typing this from my friend’s computer.

My laptop shut off, and will not turn on again.  I don’t know why but I suspect it’s an internal power issue.  At any rate, I cannot afford to fix it.

My son sent me a MacBook Pro several months ago, but I can’t get it to connect to the internet.  I don’t think it’s the router, and I may call DSL Extreme for help, but since they do not really do anything usually but tell me to turn off my router and reboot it, I am not hopeful.

So…

Unless I can work out how to get back online somehow, this blog is done for now.  Maybe I can use Moto, but I certainly cannot afford another pc.

I have no idea what to do.

Later.

There’s an App for That: Hysteria Over Technology-Fueled STDs?

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I am pretty sure some people – who either ought to know better, or should keep their mouths shut – do not understand the difference between “correlation” and “causation”.  And they use this to stir-up hysteria over one thing or another.

This crossed my mind due to 2 articles I read: one was about the DEA’s claim that heroin use is on the rise, and that this is caused by pain medication availability; and the other is an article about Rhode Island’s increase in STDs that are supposedly due to the increase in “hookup” apps like Tinder.

Aside #1: I really don’t understand how my dad could have been the assistant director of the DEA, knowing how opposed he was to the war on drugs.  I guess he thought he could change things from the inside.  He believed that, basically, all drugs should be legal.  And the difference between he and I? He never got fired – a fact that I find astounding even to this day.

So… the first article was called “National Heroin Threat Assessment Summary”.  It begins by reporting that deaths due to heroin overdoses tripled from 2010 to 2013 – a total of 8,260 people.

I think it’s horrible and devastating when anyone dies, but let’s put this in perspective.  8,260 people out of how many people in the US?   324,892,909 and counting (“Worldometers Population Live Counter”, 5/27/2015 5:57 PM EST).  Although tragic and painfully meaningful to the families and friends of those who passed, this does not indicate an epidemic by any stretch of the imagination.

That’s the first thing that jumped out at me.  I wondered how it was that conservatives freak out over this.  But, let’s read on…

Aside #2: The DEA report PDF file keeps timing out and resetting.  I hope this isn’t a problem for you, too.  But now, as I write this and it has timed out for the 3rd time, I have to go to a secondary source, which I hate to do.  Sorry.

I am switching to a Rhode Island source, which will dovetail nicely into the article on STDs.  Rhode Island seems to have a lot of problems these days!

According the the Providence Journal

“The higher demand for heroin is partly driven by an increase in controlled prescription-drug abuse over the past decade. A recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found that four out of five recent new heroin users had previously abused prescription pain relievers.” (“DEA Report: Heroin Use, Availability is Climbing”, Lynn Arditi, Providence Journal, 5/22/2015).

First of all, SAMHSA is widely used by rehabs, psych hospitals, and other mental health institutions for material on drugs – it’s a federal agency.  They do not have a vested interest in anything but a total ban on drugs, and they make that very clear in the literature they hawk to therapists and others.  They oppose legalization of marijuana and they also want to include “marijuana addiction” as a legitimate addiction for which people need treatment.

Because there is a lot of money in drug rehab facilities, and the more people you can diagnose as “addicts”, the more people you can get into rehab (using not only conventional tactics but also the drug diversion programs).

Anyway, I have a few issues with this “pain medication leads to heroin abuse” idea.  For one thing, the report often referenced by the good ol’ DEA is a self-report…by heroin users.

This is one study that makes such claims, and it is cited on the webpage National Pain Report (a site that purports to be pro-pain patient but isn’t really):

“Cicero and his colleagues analyzed data gathered from more than 150 drug treatment centers across the United States. More than 9,000 patients dependent on narcotic painkillers, or opioids, completed the surveys from 2010 to 2013. Of those, almost 2,800 reported heroin as their primary drug of abuse.” (“Study Finds Most Heroin Users Start with Painkillers”, Pat Anson, National Pain Report, 5/28/2014).

So, addicts who use heroin are saying they started with painkillers?  No, even their own quote which I just cited doesn’t say that.  If anything, it says that of the 9,000 opiate addicts (and it doesn’t say which opiates), 2,800 prefer heroin.

That’s all.  It does not say that heroin users started with painkillers.  Don’t people read??

But yes, I have heard that many, many times as a drug counselor, and I have already written about this in this blog.  The “prescriptions lead to heroin” trope.  And I have seen no real evidence of it, not in the way the anti-drug people mean, anyway.

“I had a back problem and the doctor prescribed narcotics, then cut me off so I had to turn to heroin.”

“A friend gave me pills and I got addicted.”

And so on and so on.  These reports are not reliable, and the reason?  Addicts lie.  A lot.  They will never say, “I love to party and figured I could get high on pills, but they got too expensive so I switched to heroin.”

Or, “I wanted to get high and another addict turned me on to some heroin.”

Many have had no history of pain medication abuse.  Many, particularly here in Central PA, have multi-generational heroin addicts in their families.   They start, and stay with, heroin.

I have only had one client tell me that the reason she used heroin was that it was fun, and she was also the most successful at getting and staying clean.  She was honest, which is the first step an addict needs to take before he/she can stop.

So the DEA trots out that tired old chestnut about painkillers and heroin in order to support its war against pain clinics and pharmacies.  And who are the real victims?

The pain patients.  Because it is getting harder and harder to get pain medication now.

What people fail to understand, besides that addicts lie, is that just because someone used pain meds earlier in life, and now uses heroin, does not mean one caused the other.

They used to say that about marijuana not too long ago, remember?  Heck, they still say that about marijuana here in Central Pa, because there is a heroin problem here and they don’t understand why, or how to treat it.  Their solution is to just toss everyone in jail.  And then let many plead out to go to rehab.  Cha-ching!

The DEA reminds me of a desperate, spurned lover who will do anything to achieve his/her ends.  Even when most critically thinking adults read the DEA report, and conclude that the DEA is grasping at straws, it still doesn’t deter them from proclaiming that prescription pain meds are evil and lead to heroin addiction.

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