Category Archives: Uncategorized

Adventures in Cycling, Part 1?

I rode Coco today, for the first time.  I didn’t fall.

That’s the good news.

There’s bad news, though.  I don’t think I can do it.  I don’t think I am able to physically ride a bike, and I am not sure why.  The whole experience felt wonky – like I was going to fall any second.   The bike seems like it weighs a ton.

Yes, cruisers are heavy bikes.  That was my first mistake.  I should have, when I had the money, gone to a bike shop and had them trick me out.  But I didn’t.

I went to Target.  Big, big mistake.  Oddly, I did actually pick out a lighter adult bike, what I would have called a 10-speed back in the day, got on it and actually rode it a foot or so without falling. Ok so I almost crashed into the bike display, but I didn’t fall!  But that’s not the bike I chose.

No, I went online and picked a “pretty” one.  A cruiser, as it was advertised as a leisure-type bike, for older ladies and so on.  “That’s me!” I thought.

I had visions of myself riding leisurely down to the store, basket on the front, smiling happily on a sunny day.  Of course, in my version I also have a sun dress on and a floppy hat, ala 1940s movies, but that’s not gonna happen.

Back to today.  I got on Coco, not an easy feat as the whole bike in general seems massive to me, and swinging my leg over was a bit tricky, but I did it.  Pedaled down the sidewalk, then the street, and noticed that my knees were way too high, coming nearly up to my chest.  That didn’t seem right.

The sidewalk was treacherous, with cracks and so on.  The street is smooth but it is a bit slanted towards the sidewalk.  And there are cars, though not many today as it is Sunday.

Felt a sharp twinge in my middle back – oh no!  Kept pedaling down to the park, the park that doesn’t have bike paths, and turned around in the parkinglot and rode home.  By this time, my middle back had a stabbing pain in it.

I don’t get middle back pain, ever.  So, great – new thing.  Lower back, however, feels fine – that’s the good news, as that’s where the disk issues are (or at least, where I thought they were).

Nancy came out of her apartment and adjusted my handlebars, and watched me sit on the bike.  I raised the seat up so that my toes just barely touch the ground.

She said I didn’t look stupid.  “Just another old lady on a bike.”  Heh.

And still, my knees feel as if they are way too high.  I don’t know what else we can adjust.  The highest position still has my knee at a higher-than-90-degree-angle to my body.  It doesn’t feel right.

Meanwhile, the training wheels got loose and we had to tighten them up again.  The good news there is that, at some point, I wasn’t even using the training wheels unless I tilted to one side. That’s probably why the bike felt wonky.

The bad news is, I will have to keep adjusting them – I don’t think they were designed to lift off the ground like that.

As usual, this thought ends with, “I feel like crying”.

I don’t think I’m riding this bike correctly, and I don’t know what to do about it.  The pain, I can live with.  And I wasn’t winded but I felt really weak.  Weak in the arms, weak in the legs…heck, the bike is heavy but not that heavy.

The old days of whipping onto my bike and speeding down the street are long, long gone.  I can accept that.  But I saw a woman the other day who was at least 10 years older than I am, riding what looked like a BMX-type bike, without any extra wheels, and doing just fine with it.

Why can’t I do that?

I read a news article about some guy who is riding across the US on a regular bike, again with no extra wheels, and he weighs 400 pounds.  

Why can’t I do that?  I don’t weigh anywhere near that – I only need to lose about 50 pounds.

So it’s not age, and it’s not weight.

I don’t know what to do.  I am considering donating the bike to a church or something.

My mobility options are decreasing, and it’s scary.

Those people you see in Walmart, who use the electric carts and are massively overweight? Don’t judge them, they may have started out the way I did.

Ill, overweight, and unable to exercise, this is perhaps how they got where they were.

I do not want to end up that way.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  It’s like my body will not do anything I tell it to do.  It’s beyond fatigue, it’s a weakness, an inability.   And I am no quitter.

In fact, this has become so scary that I will now do just about anything to correct it, if I only knew what was wrong.

I might try again tomorrow.  At this point, I really don’t know.

 

 

What I Learnt from Working in a Call Center, or…Keurig Comes Through.

Just wanted to tell everyone that Keurig emailed me today, and is sending me a Keurig Mini to replace my old one.  For free.  Plus 2 boxes of K-Cups (Starbuck’s and Dunkin’ Donuts).

They didn’t state explicitly that it is “new”, and not “refurbished”, so I am hoping it actually is new.  Sometimes companies do that – the call center I worked for who represented a retail-company-who-shall-not-be-named, often sent refurbished products as exchanges.

Anyway, I don’t have to send my dead Mini back.  And I know why, too – the cost of production is too low to justify the pre-paid shipping Keurig would have to shell out to get it back.  I learnt that from the call center, too.

At $99/unit (retail), I am betting this unit actually cost around $18 to make.

The bits and bobs of relatively useless information you pick up on life’s journey!

 

Moto, Meet Coco!

I read a story online about a woman who claimed she had been sent hate mail from an anonymous neighbor, telling her she should stop being “relentlessly gay”.  Julie Baker stated this was prompted by a string of colored Mason jars with lights that she strung up on her porch, creating a rainbow of colors that she says made this so-called neighbor think of gay people.

She had a picture of the note, and put it up on her Facebook page.  It was full of that internet faddish writing of randomly capitalized words that for some reason is so popular on Facebook and other websites nowadays.

Her friends then forwarded it to George Takei on Twitter, because Mr. Takei is out of the closet and is a huge supporter of gay rights.  All good so far, right?

No.  Because the purpose of this woman and her friends doing this was so she could “redecorate” and “remodel” her house, supposedly to “make it really gay” with a rainbow roof and so on.  She wants money.  She started a GoFundMe account, and so far has raised over $43,000!!

Turns out, this woman most likely wrote the note herself.  Her Facebook page, before someone corrected it, was full of that random capitalization style of writing, and looked suspiciously similar to the note.  She has never filed a police report and, when one of the local cops went to check it out, she wouldn’t show him the note – claiming she no longer had it.

Uh huh, ok then.

Long before this, her Facebook page also chronicled her troubles with owning an old house that needs repairs.  Oh, such First World problems!

Neighbors, who wrote in to the comments sections on various articles that covered this story, stated that the woman lives across the street from an openly gay-friendly church.  They also stated the woman has so much debris strewn across her yard that she has amassed fines. Fines which she can’t pay.

Friends – or, former friends now, I guess – also stated that the woman owes property taxes.  And that she and the people who are promoting this are planning a big party.

The article I linked to here states that she was originally going to donate everything over $5000, but a friend of hers who also runs a website that sells t-shirts for Julie “arrogantly proclaimed: ‘…that would be, pardon my french, an epic fucking waste, regardless of the charity, because Nixy is more generous than twenty average people put together.’ ” (“Relentlessly Gay Fundraiser by Julie Baker: Suspicions Abound”, Matt’s Repository website, 6/22/15)

I think this is going to signal the end soon of GoFundMe, because people do stuff like this.

Yes, she didn’t lie about wanting money for personal reasons.  But she did apparently make up this whole persecuted thing, for her own personal gain.  And that’s shameful.

Plus, what she gets in donations could have been spent on someone who really does need legitimate help on that site.  So she’s actually harming others.  She is also harming the gay community – of which she’s not even a part – by making their cause sound frivolous, when it’s anything but.

I thought about all this, as I was pondering ways to get around more effectively – specifically, so I could volunteer and also maybe, just maybe, take an aerobics class or two so I can get healthy and get off disability.

Stay with me – it all ties in together.

I have written about how I take the Blair Senior Services van to go to doctor’s appointments and also to go grocery shopping, because I don’t have a car and I am not able to walk to and from bus stops (yet).

It costs nothing to go to/from medical places.  Anywhere else, like grocery stores, it costs $6 round trip.  And getting a month’s worth of groceries on and off a passenger van is difficult.  If I could go 2 or 3 times a month, it would be a lot easier.

But that’s $18/month.  Add in trips to other places I might need to go – Petco, or to buy clothing, cleaning products and so on, and that’s even more money.

So I thought of GoFundMe.  No, I don’t think it’s my right to have a car.   But it would help me get back into life if I had one – and even with gas and insurance, it would still be a bargain for me because I could do so much more with my life.

I could volunteer.  I have tried to do that at numerous places, but it’s a no-go, because if you don’t have transportation….too bad.  No one carpools.  No one wants to help out another volunteer, even one who would contribute gas money.  I have applied at 5 places, and none contacted me back as soon as I asked them about transportation.

I could take reduced-priced aerobics classes.  I could…apply for jobs.  I could even drive down to Memphis and visit my son and his wife, or to Atlanta and visit my other son.  i haven’t seen either of them in 2 years.  And I really, really miss them.

If one of my cats got sick, I could take them to the vet (a worry, because if one got sick now…I can’t call a taxi, and they won’t take cats on the van…).

When I get suddenly sick, and I have been doing that a lot lately since the “mystery illness” has come back, I could actually go to the doctor – the van requires 24 hour notice, and no way am I calling an ambulance for fever, vertigo, and nausea.

Then I read about Julie Baker, and her stupid, selfish fundraising efforts.  And I felt guilty even thinking about using GoFundMe after that.

My Life, Decluttered. And New-Age Crap.

Since this blog has a few purposes – healthcare/other news, health info for my family and descendants, a place for me to rant and rave, and a commentary on social norms with a plea at the end to “be kind” – it’s sometimes hard to choose what to write about.

I don’t want this blog to be overly negative.  But sometimes, when I get to thinking about my life in relation to the rest of the world, and I come to the conclusion that I need to make changes, I guess I can sometimes be seen as a “Negative Nelly” (hey, I found that in an urban dictionary, so it’s not as old an expression as it seems).  I hope this isn’t one of those times.

I read a lot of articles and blogs.  I comment on a few in their comments sections.  I do it to make a point about something, not to argue or berate someone.  I usually never even look back to see if anyone responded to my comment, because I am not going to be suckered into an internet “war” – that, to me, is unproductive and a waste of time.

But I do read others’ comments from those who posted before I did, to see what they’re thinking in reaction to the initial article.  And all I can think is…

…how hateful they all are.  Mean, and angry.  And if you call them on it, they scream. “It’s only the internet. Lighten up!”  And then they call you names or swear at you.

I find that puzzling, because what they posted before that was a personal attack on someone – another poster, or a person in the news, or an actor, etc.  Personal as in, “He’s ugly.  He has no talent.   She’s stupid.  She’s a fool.”  Or even, “Why doesn’t he/she just kill him/herself?”

Considering how much some people – especially young people – are hurt by cyber-bullying, to say things like that and then claim it’s harmless or has no effect is false.  Otherwise, why did the person post it?  They clearly posted it to make the other person feel bad.  And that alarms me.

It also made me think of that old saw, “You are treated only as badly or as well as you allow.” And I think that is the biggest bunch of new-age crap, ever.

It should be stated as, “If someone is treating you badly, don’t allow further contact.”   Because no one is responsible for bullying or treating others badly except for the person who is doing it.   

See, this is what drives me ’round the bend about new-age adages: They make everything personal responsibility except how others act.  

If you’re poor, it’s because you don’t want money badly enough.

If you’re ill, it’s because you don’t eat right or you can’t visualize your body as “well”.

If you’re born disabled, you chose that in another life.

If you’re battered, you did something to provoke it (ok that isn’t a new-age thing, but I threw that in to show how the other statements are just as ignorant).

Or, as someone tried to point out to me recently, if you are hurt by daily/monthly/yearly microaggression, it’s because you ‘let it get to you’.  Completely missing the “water on stone” metaphor I wrote. And not addressing the problem, which is people’s treatment of the poor, in general.

I’m not sure what this kind of thinking does for anyone, except for well-off, healthy, insensitive people.

Aside #1: It also helps some sell their “cures” for poverty, illness, disability, sadness.   Cha-ching!

It gets them off the hook because, hey, they can be sure they didn’t have a hand in any of it (even if they did), and they don’t need to help because it’s all karma anyway and who are they to interfere with the universe?

Well, aside from teaching/selling the secret of the week to a better life, they also have the side benefit of being smug about their own entitled life.  They can give their less fortunate/wrongheaded/clearly unenlightened friends unsolicited advice that, because the new-age thinkers are so grossly insensitive, just serves to make their friend feel worse for talking to them.

This brings me (finally) to the subject of today’s post: The sometimes painful act of eliminating certain people from one’s life, because they consistently bring you down and hurt your feelings.

I have a friend I reconnected with awhile back, who is one of the best friends ever.  He is supportive, he gives great advice/feedback not only about this blog but other things I ask him about, he and I can discuss things without arguing, we have a lot of fun emailing back and forth, and I know I can count on him when I really need him.  I am sure he feels the same about me. We are good friends, and I am so glad for that.

He represents the standard by which I began to look at other people I considered “friends”.  Not acquaintances, but actual friends with whom you share personal stuff and so on.

He is one of the very few of my “friends” who actually reads this blog.  I put that in bold because, how hard of a requirement of friendship is it to read something once a week that takes just a few minutes? The time it takes for the usual “bathroom reading”?  Even after I appeal for feedback in order to make this blog more interesting, they can’t even drop me a line or two to tell me why they don’t like it?

That is such a minimal test of friendship that I don’t even pause a second when I cut contact with them.  Some probably don’t even notice or care – proving they weren’t friends to begin with.

Aside #2: Some actually have the gall to tell me they are “too busy to read it”.  Yet they routinely post on Facebook, all day every day.  And ask me what I think of their writing/artwork.  I used to go to their links and give them encouragement, to show them I care about what they do, because that’s what friends do.

 

Gone Indefinitely

I am typing this from my friend’s computer.

My laptop shut off, and will not turn on again.  I don’t know why but I suspect it’s an internal power issue.  At any rate, I cannot afford to fix it.

My son sent me a MacBook Pro several months ago, but I can’t get it to connect to the internet.  I don’t think it’s the router, and I may call DSL Extreme for help, but since they do not really do anything usually but tell me to turn off my router and reboot it, I am not hopeful.

So…

Unless I can work out how to get back online somehow, this blog is done for now.  Maybe I can use Moto, but I certainly cannot afford another pc.

I have no idea what to do.

Later.

Sudden Falls, Parasols, Walking in Malls: Fitness Challenges for Those Over 50

No ranting today, I think.  This is the fitness program part of my blog.  Because I figure if I write it down, I will be more likely to stick to a program – and can also come back and read my posts for motivation.

My goal is to lose a certain amount of weight by December, 2015.  Since it is May, I think that’s doable.  Not saying how much, but suffice to say I am now a size 16.   I am a lot more comfortable going by dress sizes than weight, because it isn’t so embarrassing to me.

So, by December, the goal is also to get to size 10.

I don’t remember when I was a size 10.  I was a size 8 at age 18, and can you believe I thought I was fat?!  I weighed 120 lbs at 5’4″.  That’s only fat by modeling standards.

Yes, the skinny standard has really not changed much since 1974, sad to say.  Women still think they are fat, pretty much no matter what size they are.

If it isn’t fat, it’s wrinkles/sagging/grey hair/arm flaps (don’t ask if you don’t know, but even Madonna has them, and she works out!).  Women are not really allowed to grow old gracefully.

But I digress…size 10 by December, ok.  That’s really only 3 dress sizes, and I think I can manage that.  If I drop more, my goodness I will be over the moon!

My plan is simple: Walk 30 minutes per day, at least 5 days/week.  And since my Oster “MyBlend” blender arrived today, it’s smoothie time!!

1-2 smoothies per day in place of meals.  I am aware of the calorie trap smoothies can be, so I bought whey powder, 1% organic milk, nonfat yogurt, and frozen fruit.  Protein and carbs.

No green smoothies for me!  Sorry, but I think that green smoothies are the most disgusting-looking drinks on the face of the planet!  I do not like green drinks to slam, I do not like them Sam I Am!

Plus, kale is notorious for having oxalates – and if you get kidney stones, oxalates are a huge no-no.  That includes nuts and nut butters (awww), rhubarb (yuck), potato chips/french fries (awww again), and beets (awww x 3!).

Of course, health websites also say that large amounts of protein can help kidney stones develop.  Damn!  Can’t win!  I’ll take my chances with that one.

What kind of monster would tell someone to give up cheese??  Ain’t happening.  I love love love cheese of all kinds.

So, that’s the plan.  Since I now eat almost nothing but fruit and vegetables – and cheese! – it should be easy.  Oh yeah and the beans and rice thing, too, got to get back to that.  Increasing fiber to a goal of 20-30 grams/day.

If I am still hungry after that (and I’m usually not, fiber is filling!), I tell myself I can eat whatever I want.  Since that is mainly whatever is in my apt, it’s limited.  If I want sugary yummy goodness, I have to either walk to the store, or pick it up once a month when I go food shopping.  That limits it quite a bit.

And even if I just HAVE TO HAVE A DONUT, the donut shop is nearly a mile away so I reckon I would walk off those calories in no time.   The fact that it is so far away, though, deters me from going there (that, and the fact that they replaced the Dunkin’ Donuts with a local, not-as-good donut shop).

The gas station that sells junk food is not far, but they don’t have the kind of junk food I like, so….the local Sheetz, however, does.  It’s half a mile from my apt.  I might actually walk there some time, but since I am so tired most days, it won’t be often.

I have been walking for a week now.  Down to Basin Park, then twice around the trails that go by the Juniata River and the band shell.  It’s a really nice park.  I will show pictures when I actually take good ones (didn’t know Moto had a zoom function, so all the pictures I have taken thus far are teeny tiny).

I have to admit, up until today, I hated my walks.

It wasn’t always that way – any time in the past when I did the walking-for-fitness thing, I enjoyed it for the most part.  But this last go-round, it’s different.

For one thing, I have to get up early so it isn’t hot by the time I get walking.  This is no easy feat, as I have two extremely annoying cats who seem to think it is their life’s purpose to wait about 3 minutes after I have closed my eyes…

Crash! A lamp, a glass, some books?  One cat on the dresser, looking pleased with himself.

I have a floor lamp that has shelves.  One of the cats likes to pull it down.  It’s fun to see all that stuff go flying, I guess.

Or…they could be sleeping on my bed, but a few minutes after I turn off the light to go to sleep myself, one gets up.  Taps me with his paw, on my arm or my face.  The other one finds a box and starts hitting the flap, over and over and OVER again (ok, got to get rid of boxes, I know, but I have no storage space).

So, there’s that issue – getting enough sleep so I can wake up decently at 8 am.  So far, I am dragging my ass outta bed with 4 hours of sleep.  I know it’s just a matter of time before I decide to walk later in the day.  But for now, I am cranky when I get up.

Aside: I can’t kick the cats out of the bedroom and close the door, because I only have one window a/c unit, and that’s in the bedroom.  They would get way too hot – I live upstairs and so it can get mighty hot in my small apt.

Pay to Naysay: Fining Consumers for Bad Reviews

Before I begin today’s post, I want to add a personal note.  Skip it if it doesn’t interest you.

I woke up today feeling crappier than I have in a very long time – oh, I still get the nightly fevers and what-not, but today it was fever and nausea.  So…I just have had enough.  I know I have been telling friends I was going to go out and walk, etc, but I kept putting it off.   Since I seem to be getting worse again, it scared me.

So today I put on my new sweatpants, t-shirt, hoodie (it’s 56 degrees outside today), and old running shoes (yep, long ago I did actually run and do aerobics and all that stuff), and off I went.  I took my cane and a bottle of water, along with Moto.

I walked 10 minutes down to a park I am ashamed to say I have never been to in the 5 years I have lived here.  It’s a lot bigger than I thought – has a dog run, playground, a path by the Juniata River, and a band shell (hmm, that’s where that music comes from every summer…Hollidaysburg is not big on advertising these kinds of events, everyone “just knows”).

I walked for 25 minutes, stopping occasionally to take pics (which I will publish when I get one of those cord thingies that go from Moto to my laptop, or email them to myself maybe).  It has a lot of interesting signs, and even has a replica of part of the lock system they used around here long ago.  Beautiful park.

I didn’t walk fast.  That will come later.  I sat down on a bench for 5 minutes before I set off for the 10 minute walk back home.  I am tired but glad I did it.   I still feel crappy but not any more crappy than I did before, so that’s a good thing.  My first goal is to walk without stopping, for 30 minutes each day.

After that, we’ll see…hey, gotta start somewhere, right?

My lovely daughter sent me an Amazon e-card for Mother’s Day, so I bought a grinder for the flax seed in my fridge, and a personal smoothie maker.   Bought fruits and lots of vegetables, and protein powder and yogurt yesterday at the grocery store, so I am all set for when that stuff arrives.  I figure on substituting at least one meal with a low-cal smoothie.  Then go from there.

Oh, and I got my hair all chopped off a week ago, and there will be a new pic of me on FB and on here at some point.  I hate having my picture taken, so after taking a million selfies I will probably find one that doesn’t make me cringe.  Because….vanity and silly reasons.

***End of personal info***

I was reading email from the PC Magazine website, and ran across an article entitled “U.S. Reps Go After Businesses That Fine for Bad Reviews” (David Murphy, PCMag.com, 5/9/2015).  Since I often write reviews on Yelp and even sometimes on a company’s website, and sometimes they are less than stellar, this caught my attention.

It seems that some businesses are adding clauses to their agreements with consumers – and who ever reads all that fine print? – that state that, if you write a bad review, they can fine you.  So, some members of the House of Representatives are sponsoring something called “The Consumer Review Freedom Act of 2015”, which makes it illegal for companies to do this.

The sponsors are Eric Swalwell, Brad Sherman (both Democrats from California), Darrell Issa (Republican from California, and Blake Farenthold (Republican from Texas).  Yay, bipartisanship!

Not only were businesses fining consumers for bad reviews, if the consumers didn’t pay it the businesses then turned it over to collections, thereby wrecking the consumer’s credit.  Grrr.

The most oft-cited examples of this are a B&B in New York state, and a company called KlearGear in Grandville, MI (or in France, apparently).

The Struggle for Health: Battleground or Middle Ground?

I talk to a lot of people who are in contact with the healthcare system – either as patients or as providers.  I talk to them on the van, in waiting rooms, during tests, and so on.   And I feel sometimes as if I am in the middle of a huge conflict where, increasingly, there are two very stubborn sides, both of whom think they are right.  (I won’t call it ‘war’, as that minimizes actual war and the horror that comes with it.)

On one side you have:

~ cyberchondriacs/hypochondriacs, who are clinically known as people with somatic symptom disorder (“Somatic Symptom Disorder Fact Sheet”, American Psychiatric Publishing, 2013),

~ anti-conventional medicine activists (all doctors are wrong because we have a profit-based healthcare system),

~ ‘alternative medicine’ practitioners (this includes those who do chiropractic and homeopathic so-called treatments),

~ anti-vaxxers (these people’s ignorance puts everyone at risk),

~ con artists,

~ anti-education ‘experts’ – this is my name for people who do not have degrees in anything so they have a disdain *cough jealousy cough* for those who do and they claim they have figured out some medical mystery all by themselves using unconventional means (read that as, “not using common sense or the scientific method”),

~ people who, usually due to a personality disorder, just like to stir shit up and upset people by taking ridiculous positions on all things medical,

and on and on.  You can probably think of others.  So, that’s one side.

On the other side we have:

~ doctors and nurses,

~ insurance companies,

~ pharmaceutical companies,

~ hospitals and other institutions,

~ healthcare ‘systems’ (a network of hospitals or clinics)

~ the CDC and the WHO etc,

~ government agencies such as the National Institute of Health,

~ “pro-medicine advocates” such as the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (“just take your meds and everything will be a-ok” – if you can’t tell, I don’t like them),

and others that probably come to your mind right now.

Then, stuck in the middle, you have the patients.  The regular, med-compliant, majority of patients who generally trust the medical profession to provide decent healthcare.  After all, doctors and nurses went to school to learn how to diagnose and treat illnesses.  It’s normal and reasonable to expect that they know what they’re doing.

Most people get their checkups and are fine.  But at some point, many patients will find they have ‘something’ that needs fixing, in some form.  They rely on their doctors to help them.  They are ill, and not in a position where they can advocate for themselves, nor should they have to.  They are at the mercy of the medical profession, and I think a lot of times that works out well – the doctor knows what’s wrong, treats it, and everyone’s happy again.  Or, at least, better.

That’s how it should be.

Then there are patients like me, who are sick and unable to get well, because no one knows what’s wrong.  The tests are not helpful, and the problem persists as a chronic condition of…well, something unknown.   The primary care doctor is stumped.  The specialists send the patient back with a note indicating that, whatever the patient has, it’s nothing in their specialty.

Back to square one.

And that’s when the struggle begins.

When patients are ill and no one can figure out what’s wrong, they end up in the middle of a battle between conventional medicine and “everyone else”.  And when someone is ill, it’s hard to get up the strength to stand up for yourself and attempt to become a ‘partner’ in your own healthcare.

There is a trend here, of doctors wanting patients to be more proactive and vocal in their role as patient, more of a partner in a treatment team, actually.  I think that’s good, as long as the patient realizes that he/she does not know as much as the doctor does (it would be scary if the doctor didn’t know more than the patient, after years of medical school!), and also as long as the doctor is aware of how vulnerable and scared the patient is (and treats him/her kindly and with respect).

But our healthcare system, and American attitudes towards medicine (and I can only comment on American stuff), both have big problems.  In my opinion, the overarching contradiction, from which most of the problems stem, is “Patient vs. Profit”.  Then there are all the contributing factors, such as stoicism, cynicism, elitism in all its forms, and the right to express oneself (free speech, that term so often bandied about by Americans) – and the magnification of all that by the internet.

I have seen the problems our healthcare system has, and have blogged about them, and will continue to blog about them.  On any given day you can find a story about how the healthcare system has failed patients in some way, sometimes killing them.  If you remove the few incidences that are due to human error (errors made in spite of the best intentions and care), it always comes down to money.  I am not going to address that today.

I just want to talk about people, regular people who are lost in the quest to find out what in hell is wrong with them.

I have searched and I cannot find any statistics about how many Americans are sick but cannot find a diagnosis for what ails them.  My thought is that they either just give up, get better on their own, or someone convinces them it’s “all in their heads”.  So, naturally, there would not be a whole lot of reporting on this.

So I don’t really have a handle on how prevalent this problem really is.  And “anecdotal evidence”, found widely on the internet, is often a product of people who take the anti-medicine stance.  It’s biased.

And one side of this topic – patients who cannot find a diagnosis – is, for lack of a better term, “anti-medicine”.  There are lots of problems with anti-medicine activism.  I have seen the damage caused by quackery, by people with untreated mental illness who play the role of activist, and by people who comprise groups that are on the fringe of rational thought – all of whom cause harm to patients who are seeking to understand and deal with an illness for which they cannot find treatment.

The harm is to credibility, mostly, though in some cases it, too, can result in death – from treatment delays caused by reliance on pseudoscientific “cures”.  And it’s too simplistic to categorize everyone who is anti-medicine as mentally ill, because there are some intelligent, relatively stable folks out there who, in this case, are just plain wrong.  They either misunderstand or misinterpret science, or they know someone (perhaps themselves, even) who was ‘cured’ using unconventional means.

Be that as it may, they cause just as much harm as, for example, the pharmaceutical company that releases a drug that they know isn’t safe.  The results are similar, they just come from different points of view and/or different motives (sometimes…though there is profit in alternative medicine, too).  Similar economic classes, though, and I won’t go there today.

I did, however, find statistics on hypochondriasis.  According to the most recent stats I could find, the prevalence in the US is anywhere from 4-9% (Carson RC, Mineka S, Butcher JN (eds.), Abnormal Psychology and Modern Life (11th edition), Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2000).

They are a very vocal group.  I would put them in the ‘untreated mentally ill’ category of anti-medicine activism.   My guess is, if you add these folks to the other categories of anti-medicine activists, including (as I do) chiropractors, maybe the whole bunch of them would be close to 15%.  But I can’t say for sure, because I don’t know.

Further clouding this issue is the report by the National Institutes of Health Pharmacy and Therapeutics Journal, stating that “nearly 40% of adults in the US use some form of complementary and alternative medicine therapy, including dietary supplements.” (“Current Issues Regarding Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) in the United States, Part 1: The Widespread Use of CAM and the Need for Better-Informed Health Care Professionals to Provide Patient Counseling”, C Lee Ventola, P.T. 2010 Aug; 35(8): 461-468).

The bolding of the phrase “including dietary supplements” is mine, because I think this is important.  This article basically makes no distinction between vitamins (which appear to have some health benefits in many cases), meditation (which has limited benefits for relaxation etc), and homeopathic treatment/Ayurvedic/Chinese folk medicine (which are all complete nonsense).  While it states that more people use supplements than homeopathy, it’s not clear at all which supplements they are, and so on.

So it’s really not clear at all what percentage of Americans choose quackery as their ‘go-to’ strategy when they become ill.  So, let’s go with the high end of percentage of hypochondriacs (9%), add the 8% of adults who go to chiropractors (Ibid.), and so far that’s 17%.

If you add in all the other misc quackery, let’s be conservative and put that at 1%, ok?  So, minimally, we have 18% of adults who do not, in some form or another, trust conventional medicine.

And a lot of them, particularly the hypochondriacs, are very vocal in their mistrust.  Since most of these people will, at some point or another, become patients, there’s a decent chance that your doctor has run into at least one during his/her practice.  Certainly emergency room personnel have, as any of them will gladly tell you if you ask.

So when someone comes along who actually does have an illness, and the tests do not show anything amiss, it’s understandable why many doctors would refer the patient to a psychiatrist, or advise a lifestyle change that includes diet and exercise.  Some doctors, in their frustration, merely attribute the problem to aging.

While I think it’s reasonable to, say, advise a dietary change to someone who has diabetes, it’s not necessarily appropriate for someone who is exhibiting non-diet-related symptoms (for example, ‘fever of unknown origin’, which is, according to Dr. Wonderful, one of the most vexing symptoms to confront a physician).  Yet, one gets the feeling that, when a doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong, “change your diet” is the default when dealing with someone who also happens to be overweight.

The response, “it’s age” is such a cop-out I am not even going to comment.  Suffice to say, I have heard people complain that this is their doctor’s explanation/excuse for everything, as if being older means you just have to accept whatever’s wrong with you and “live with it.”

And what is a patient to do when the doctor, frustrated by the inability to come up with a diagnosis, then decides the patient is either faking or is a hypochondriac?  Some trust their doctors and toddle off with their referral to a psychiatrist, who then will probably prescribe medication for anxiety and depression – as most people with chronic illnesses are vulnerable to both those mental illnesses.

Some will reject this idea, and go find another doctor.  And another, until someone finally figures out what’s wrong, or the patient runs out of money/time/energy.

Some will reject this idea, and give up, reasoning that, since no one believes them anyway, why waste the time and energy?  “They’ll figure it out when I either die from this, or get so sick I end up in the hospital and they will HAVE to figure it out.”  That is a common reaction.

And if the symptoms persist?  There’s the problem.

Where is the middle ground for these patients?  Disappointed by their doctors, they search for the answers themselves.  And then, disgusted by the pseudoscience, hype, lies, and attempts at being ripped off by the alternative medicine crowd, they wonder where to turn to next.

They are alone, in the middle of two sides which are so limited (each in their own way) that the patient has completely run out of viable options and has nowhere to turn.

And they are still sick.

I don’t have any answers.  Perhaps someone will read this and think of one or two.

Today’s weirdness comes from The Daily Beast, and it’s a doozey!  “Bin Laden’s Minions Posed as Women”, The Daily Beast website, 2/18/2015.  There is a trial going on in Brooklyn that accuses a man of conspiracy to bomb several sites as part of an Al Queda plot.  It would be funny if it weren’t so horrible.  Just goes to show the lengths terrorists will go to, to engage in their heinous activities.

On a lighter note, I found this website: Shame Your Pet.  This link has pics of cats, but there are pics of dogs, too, on this site.  So now you have your puppy and kitty cuteness for the week!

Next Time.

Despite being on a course of antibiotics, the fever has returned.  I am extremely fatigued and the upper right pain continues.

My doctor, in response to me asking him if my latest tests showing an “atrophied pancreas” could be the cause of my pain, stated no.  He also said it isn’t pancreatic disease anyway.

His tone indicated to me that he’s pretty much fed up.  And I had such hopes for him.

I imagine my reply telling him the fever is back will not sit well with him.

Doesn’t matter.  I am in a snit, I’m exhausted, and I’m done with doctors.

This will either go away or get so bad that even the dumbest of physicians will be able to figure out what it is.  So, time is the answer I guess.

What it isn’t, is factitious.  I get no joy out of being prodded and poked, made to drink obnoxious radioactive concoctions, and shoved into tubes that precipitate anxiety attacks.

I went grocery shopping yesterday and had to leave halfway, due to fatigue.  I struggled up the stairs with 3 bags of groceries and spent the rest of the day in bed.

3 bags of groceries, mind you, that cost $100 in food stamps.

Peanut butter, coffee, eggs, dried milk, bulgur, wholegrain bread, kefir, cauliflower, broccoli, corn tortillas, 1 pound of cheese, 2 boxes of fiber crackers, and a gallon of water (fracking, remember?).  I am putting this all down for the future readers so they can see how much food cost in 2015.   I buy organic but come on!

The lady I shared the van with spent $60 and bought snack cakes, mac and cheese, and dried mixes.  She’s in a wheelchair and has to carry that into her house.

As I carried my stuff inside and up the stairs, I realized that’s another factor in why disabled people who are poor eat as we do – the actual weight of the food.  It’s too hard to carry without help.  Shitty food = light-weight food.  Think about that next time you go to the store and you’ll see what I mean.

Anyway, until next time…

Have a Good One!

Happy New Year to all who read this!

Not feeling at all well, and so am not going to regale you with one of those “2014 end-of-year wrap-ups”.  I am going to have an exciting night in, most likely sleeping a lot.  I have more tests on Friday (something came back abnormal).

I hope your 2015 is a good one, full of love and laughter and all good things!

See you next week…I’ll be back to ranting in no time!

Be kind.