I had a colonoscopy today.  I won’t go into details except to warn you all to DEMAND your anesthesiologist inject lidocaine into your IV line before he/she injects the propofol.  I forgot about this, and the sadist who was administering the anesthesia either didn’t know or care because it burned like nothing I have ever felt.  I kept asking her, why does this hurt, it’s never hurt before?  And all she said was, “take deep breaths.”

It wasn’t until I got home that I remembered that, EVERY OTHER TIME I have had to have propofol (for a lithotripsy, for example), they administered lidocaine so it wouldn’t burn.

Stupid bitch.  I am going to complain to my pcp, who I see on Friday.  It won’t do any good to complain to the colonoscopy dr, as he was right there when it happened and didn’t do anything about it – nor did the other 2 nurses.

Oh and one of the other patients who had a different anesthesiologist didn’t have any discomfort.  So I guess I got the incompetent one.

Right, so, back to the reason I started this blog – to keep family informed of medical issues so they won’t have to pull medical records and such when it comes to their family history, at least not from my side of the family.

The doctor found 4 polyps, which he removed.  He has sent them off to the lab to see if they are cancerous. The sheet he gave me referred to them as “adenomatous” (which means “might turn into cancer”) as opposed to hyperplasic (which means “never turn into cancer”).  Being a busy doctor, and me being groggy, I tried to get a straight answer out of him before he left the room – why the sheet on precancerous ones, if they weren’t?  He didn’t really give me an answer.

He said they will call with the results.  He left before I could ask him what the other part was, the “diverticulosis” mentioned in the diagnosis.  And why he now wants me to take a laxative every single damn day for the rest of my life (also in the notes, minus the ‘damn’ and ‘rest of my life’ part – those are just my assumptions).

So,,,according to WebMD, all diverticulosis means is “pouches in your colon”.  They don’t know why, they don’t usually cause issues, but one thing it does mean is someone needs more fiber.  Ok, a vegetarian needs more fiber.  *Confused look*  I guess I didn’t re-start my vegetarianism soon enough, and my former bad diet is catching up to me.  So THAT’S the reason for the daily fiber.  Ok, at least that’s one fewer thing to worry about.

Now I am just worried about colon cancer.  And I want to thank that moron in State College (see “Manic Medicos” blog entry) for bringing that up, because now I am beside myself with worry.  I don’t think fever and malaise are symptoms of colon cancer but hey, I am one of those people who thinks that if I don’t worry about something, it’s sure to happen.  Like I was so sure today would be a ‘find-nothing’ kind of day.   I didn’t worry, and sure enough he found something.

Conversely, if I worry myself to death about it, maybe it will be ok.  Like the breast biopsy I had 2 years ago – benign.  I nearly flipped out completely when I had to have that done, considering I lost a sister to that disease.  I was a nervous wreck, so much so that Dr. Wonderful called me on a Friday night to tell me it was benign, right after he got the results – he didn’t want me to spend all weekend worrying.

Why can’t all doctors be like him?

I am very superstitious today, and maybe I am worrying about the wrong thing.  Maybe it’s cancer of something else, something I hadn’t considered before.  And I have a feeling that when I go see Dr. Wonderful on Friday, he is going to schedule me for a mammogram, a pap smear, and whatever else he can think of.   Just to make sure I don’t have cancer.

Don’t get me wrong – I have my scheduled tests, always.  He was going to do them after I went to State College, because he is also convinced I have lupus or something similar.  Now perhaps the priorities will change – I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.  I trust him, though.

This day highlights the problem with living far from kin.  I really could use a shoulder to cry on.  I did cry on the way home, as my friend Nancy drove me, and she was very supportive.  And since she lives downstairs, she is always around in case something happens.  I am very lucky to have a friend/neighbor like her.  I am going to see what really nice thing I can get her for Christmas.

But it’s not the same as family.  And, no matter how much of an animal lover you are, cats are NOT the same as family, not really.  For one thing, they can’t talk.  For another thing, unless these 2 get up to weird things while I am asleep, they can’t access the internet and look up medical things for me to ease my mind (I assume they can’t use the internet, because I don’t have weekly deliveries of cat treats coming to the apt, which for my cats would be the only reason to use it).  They don’t know what ‘crying’ is – hey, if your cats do, great, but mine don’t seem to.

Just another reason to consider moving.

Anyway, once I know the lab results, I will post them.  Because it’s important for my kids to know.  They might all now have to have colonoscopies starting at age 40, according to the ‘fact sheet’ I got from the doctor.  But only if the polyps are the bad kind.  So they need to know.  And have a record of it (that’s what this is).

See you tomorrow.

And if you’re 50 or older, get a colonoscopy but remember the lidocaine!